Advice Please re HVs/Social Work Intervention

[marram]

I have done the most stupid/naive thing by admitting to an HV in a moment of deep depression that I had smacked my DD. I never wanted to smack, have just been having a really hard time recently and have smacked her on the bum a few times when I have lost my temper with her very, very difficult behaviour.

They have now done a report and I have to agree it. I don't like the content or the tone of much of it at all. Some of it is just plain wrong. I just don't want anyone to see this report or for this stuff about my life (and my children's lives) to be on some file for people to see. What are my rights in terms of data protection/stopping this report being sent around to other health workers? My children are NOT AT RISK. I have just been having a tough time and I went to them for help because I didn't know who else to turn to. I know I have done a stupid thing but I need to sort this out. This report does nothing to help me and makes me furious.

Anyone? I stress that I am determined never to smack again.

Not sure if you can stop it - think you have been dealt with very harshly if this is the case. I do think that if you are seen to be co operative and accepting of any help offered then it is probably the best way. It might still be on file, but if no one looks at it again it will soon be forgotten.

Thanks princess. I am so furious becuase they seem to hvae decided that as I did not want to leave my baby to cry it out then I have not accepted their help and the report is very negative. I am usually pretty accepting of help but just could not leave her to cry for long periods!

There is a lot of stuff in the report that I had considered would be private between myself and the mental health worker I was speaking to. Feel badly let down.

It is not illegal to smack your children in the UK. Parents are entitled to use 'reasonable restraint' - which is not formally defined, but would cover a few smacks on the bum.

Your hv/social worker will have done a 'core assessment', which looks in depth at your family circumstances and support needs.

It can feel like you're being patronised and judged. I know - I've been there.

You don't have to 'agree' anything. Send a letter in response to the report outlining any factual inaccuracies and insisting that they are corrected.

Just feels that there has been too much included. I will ask whether the report can be much shorter. Thanks. Am deeply distressed about this whole situation. I will try to do a bit of deep breathing!

Marrum DO NOT AGREE IT and DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. Tell them the content is wrong and misleading. smacking is not illegal in England and it's none of their business how you chose to deal with your daughters behaviour unless it falls into the category of abuse ... which a smack on the bum does not. DO NOT beat yourself up about it and make it very clear that you are not going to agree to anything and SS DO NOT need to be informed. They have caught you at a very vulnerable time and should realise this. Talk to your GP also and get some advise ASAP. Good luck.

Thank you homeboys and madame. They absolutely bullied me at a vulnerable time to sign a form to get further support from an early years worker. I was so upset I could barely speak. I do understand they have to cover their backs. I feel pretty let down and that I should never have asked for help. Just formulating my plan of action now. Will ask who could potentially see the report, send letter not agreeing and find out if it can be significantly cut down. There really does not need to be all that info in it. Talk about kicking you when you are down!

Hi.Sorry you are going through this. I think it would be worth your while, getting some legal advice-even if it was just to get a solicitor to look at the Report. Whilst the Report will contain info re your family circumstances and what happened, I dont think it should contain sensitive info on your Mental Health and Medical Info. This Report, will be seen by others, and you dont want them seeing personal details.
Is your dd at Nursery or school? I dont want to add to your distress, but SS will most probably speak to them as well, to see if they have any concerns.
Dont sign anything that is inaccurate, but you should check where you stand legally about having to take any support they offer-ie Parenting Classes etc. Take Care, let us know how things go.

It's not illegal to smack your child, BUT, if you leave a mark lasting more than a particular amount of time (not sure of time frame) then HV's are required to take it further.

AFAIK, under the Data Protection Act, any details on you, your family etc, have to be correct and up to date. As this information is about you, you are entitled to see it and insist that any incorrect details be changed. Not entirely sure on this, but,I think you can take them to court if they refuse to correct anything about you which is false.

Hope this is dealt with quickly for your sake. Take care

Marram, hi.
Absolutely, you mustn't loose a moment's sleep over this one (easier said than done but you know what I mean). This over zealous approach is wrong footed and so many perfectly good and decent parents are caught up in it, unwittingly.
Agree with posters who say 'don't sign' - at least not the form in its current state. You have every right for accurate info to be on your file - you can challenge it through a data protection request (normally costs £10.00) but you may be able, in these circumstances, to get your records for free. Depends I guess who you talk to. Have you tried to see - face to face can be good - a health manager? S/he might see sense. You could also speak with PALS (Patient Advisory and Liaison Service) for the relevant NHS Trust or there might be some kind of patient advocacy service.
I have every sympathy with you - was asked recently about why it was that I breastfed my youngest beyond his baby years - somehow the authorities had got wind of that. Asked them to provide me with chapter and verse re evidence for the emotional harm they claimed and since then, have heard nothing!
Good luck and take care.