nearly 4 yo trying my patience (inderstatement)

[Greythorne]

My DD1 is really pushing all my buttons at the moment.

Whenever I reprimand her, she spouts back my own words at me:

Me: DD, that's enough. Put your clothes in the laundry basket.

DD1: Mummy, hang on, just one min, I have something to say to you, I am angry with you.

Me: DD1, don't speak to me like that, put youe clothes in the basket, please.

DD1: I have had enough of this. It is so unfair. Tomorrow, I will stay in my room by myself [btw, I don't say this, this is hers alone] and not speak to you.

Me: I mean it, stop being naughty.

DD: You are the one being naughty, I have had enough......

And so on and so on.

Threats just wind her up. She gets very hysterical very easily.

I am typing this at top speed as DD2 needs feeding.

Please be gentle, as I am close to tears after a horrific bedtime incident.....

TIA

Sorry can't be much help to you but I just wanted to say that my nearly 4.5 year old DD is EXACTLY the same and I am really hoping someone will come up with something to help!

I find it very difficult not to be drawn into an argument with her and we go round and round in circles

Sorry had to laugh (ruefully) at this as ds1 is just like that. Today I had "Mummy, I do not like this behaviour. You are being VERY rude." Your tellings-off come back to haunt you (and they sound pretty sarky coming from a 4yo). He is massively oversensitive and emotional at the moment.

A very useful thing that was said to me on MN not so long ago was that it is up to me to set the emotional tone, as they can't do it by themselves. Try really hard not to be wound up by the talking back.

I have no tips to add but I had to post as I really feel your pain! I get 'don't talk to me like that'; 'you did it too FAST!' (when helping her get dressed); and a classic: 'you keep walking away from me!' (when walking down the street, ffs!) from my nearly 4yo DD.

She ignores me when I ask her to do something, changes the subject when I challenge her and asks 'why?' whenever I say anything else.

She also takes great delight in telling me that she doesn't love me as much as daddy or rabbit.

She is lovely really. Or so I keep reminding myself Anyone know how long this phase lasts for?

My DS is similar. He is nearly 4 and really testing patience at times too!

When he does something naughty and we have words all I get is Mummy say sorry.

I say but you hurt/upset mummy but still all it is mummy say sorry - I never get an apology for being naughty in first place but I do get lots of hugs and kisses