9 year old continually hiding dirty laundry

[Dexterrocks]

My 9 year old girl continually hides her dirty laundry by stuffing it in the bottom or her wardrobe and behind her dollshouse.
We have had massive rows about it in the past but she continues to do it.
I have, in the past, taken the hidden clothes away (until we went on holiday and I didn't have enough clothes for her for the week away).
I have also told her that she will have to do her own ironing from now on as I am sick of ironing stuff lovingly for her to roll it in a ball at the bottom of her wardrobe.
I have vastly reduced the amount of clothes I buy her in the hopes that they would be more precious but this doesn't seem to work either.
Does anyone have a similar problem and has anyone found a solution to the behaviour?

What does she say if you ask why she does it?
DD is a terrible hoarder and might do this if she thought it would stop clothes from being thrown out. Also, DD likes the smell of used clothes, especially mine, she often asks to sleep with one of my recently worn shirts (and I thought only toddlers would do such weird things).

I wonder if she thinks used clothes smell, and she's ashamed? Or perhaps she has a UTI and has leaked a bit of wee and is embarrassed?

If you're sure it's not a symptom of something deeper, I would keep her clothes & laundry bin in your bedroom and start operating a one in one out policy.

IF you are certain she's just playing up, and that there's nothing else going on. What does she say when you say 'why did you do this?'

WHy is she tryng to hid it from you? Is she embarassed about something? Has she been wetting herself? Started her periods?

I imagine you'd notice those, but the first thing that came to my mind was that perhaps she,s started having vaginal discharge (perfectly normal). If she doesn't know what it is, she might think she's done something wrong.

(sorry, duplicated ragged's question)

Diggery, that's a good thought. Perhaps on approaching puberty she's started to get a bit whiffy (or thinks she is) and is embarrassed about that.

Not really duplicated, Diggery, I think DD likes the used clothes smell, not ashamed of it!

I think OP is trying to operate a one in one out policy, but the girl doesn't bother? Does she have a laundry basket in her own room? Maybe that's what she needs.

When I ask her why she does it she shrugs and says she doesn't know.

She clearly worries about the hidden clothes as she was packing for a sleepover today and was terrified I would come up and help her choose an outfit from her wardrobe.
She has asked for a laundry basket in her room. We normally put our laundry straight into a laundry basket in our utility room as most of our house is a bungalow so it is not a big hassle. Her room, however, is upstairs so maybe the issue is bringing the stuff downstairs. I had refused, thinking it was just laziness on her part, but on reflection I am wondering if it would save a lot of rows.
I know it is not a concern about smell or discharge, periods etc as she talks to me and even her father about these things quite comfortably. We are quite close which is why I am so baffled by this behaviour.

It must be for a reasons she doesn't know how to articulate.

Anything that saves rows is probably good! Good luck!

Push her more for a reason. Let her have the laundry basket in her room - what about one of those big drawstring backs, to hang off the back of the door? That way none of her dirty laundry is visible, the way it is in an open top basket, or can easily be seen by lifting the lid of a basket, iyswim. If that's what's bothering her, perhaps she doesn't like the idea of her dirty laundry downstairs where it might be seen/found?

This may well have come about via something we would consider ridiculous, like a child in a story having their laundry rifled through and laughed at, but it has become a real concern for her.

Just guessing.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. It is good to remember to see things from their point of view sometimes. What I see as ridiculous and inconsiderate behaviour could have its root in something "bigger" in her mind. I am so glad I am not a kid anymore!!

Sounds like your DD is a slattern - just like mine. Except mine sticks stuff in the dirty laundry basket cos she cannot be arsed to put it away - so I frequently wash clothes which have not been worn. I blame DH and I, as we are not particularly tidy and DD has obviously inherited the gene.

I think you should get her a laundry basket if she has asked for one. If you can't get to the bottom of why she's hiding clothes then it's easy to go with a simple solution rather than the constant fights.

If she doesn't use the laundry basket once it's in her room then I've no idea tbh!

Let her have a laundry basket. Does she help with the laundry? Maybe ask if she would like to be responsible for doing a load of her washing a week or a load of the families washing.

My ds is only 3 so I have no idea beyond that age . He has his own washing basket and sorts the lights from the darks for me too

I was also going to ask about the dirty laundry. When I was this age I quite often used to poo myself, often out of fear, due to my abusive dad. Then hid the evidence out of shame. Don't want to scare you, but please talk to her.

You can buy laundry baskets that come with a drawstring bag inside that she could just pull out when full and drag downstairs. Or one that is a combination of bag and basket here for example?