DS says he's being hit at nursery, WWYD?

[TheLemur]

DS (3.2) goes to nursery with a bit of a rough and tumble boy, who in the past has bitten him (no cut skin or anything) and been involved in pulling DS down - after which he got a black eye

Recently on picking DS up, he tells me X hit him or pushed him. I'm really not sure what to do...

I am not angry at X as I know toddlers are toddlers, and DS doesn't seem injured in the slightest. I'm also not concerned about the nursery - they are excellent (although no/very little formal discipline is in place) and I don't want to cause a hoo-ha over essentially nothing

However I don't want my DS to feel I'm ignoring him/not sticking up for him incase he stops telling me stuff like this. On the other hand, I don't want to encourage him to become a 'tell tale'.

I've been pondering this for a week and still don't know what to do. All I have done so far is say to DS at the time "It's not nice to hit is it"

Should I say something to nursery in front of DS? Should I give DS some way of reacting/speaking to X when he's being hit?

I would mention it to the nursery but avoid mentioning it in front of him. Not saying this is the case but often in nursery a parent will raise this type of concern, and the child on questio may not have been in at all! If there has been some rough and tumble in the past it may well be that he is remembering this. I manage a nursery an my own Ds came home last week and told me Jake has bitten him. Jake has been off for the pasr 3 weeks

That said the nursery should be able to tell you if there is something more in it. Teach your DS to say 'No' in a loud voice and tell a teacher/helper.

You say there is no formal discipline, what do you mean? They should (must) have a behaviour policy in place.

Have a quiet word with his key worker to get some reassurance. Perhaps just enquire how he's getting along and lead into this. Have you asked ds why x is doing this to get a little more perspective?

I had a similar situation but without the 'previous'. Ds, who was 4 said that x hit him at nursery. He said it a few times so we had a chat about hitting being naughty and decided between us that if it happened again he was to say, no don't hit me, then walk away and find an adult. I also had a quiet word with his key worker asking her to keep an eye on things. There have been no issues since. TBH, I'm not sure if it was actually happening so I kept it fairly low key but I felt strongly that I had to show Ds that I was listening to him and helping him to deal with any issues.

Thank you, great to know my concerns aren't ridiculous and Piffpaffpoff that last sentence sums up exactly how I feel!

I will speak to the keyworker and see what she thinks is best (plus ask about discipline at nursery). It's difficult to chat to her without DS being present though and calling a meeting is way over the top. I'll have to bide my time and pick my moment. I just hope DS doesn't think I'm ignoring his comments in the meantime.

I have not asked DS why X is hitting him FranSanDisco, maybe I will ask when I chat to him about this or when it happens again. I think it's just a case of X being a fairly physical/boisterous child all round rather than picking on DS (the bitings were due to DS having a toy/bike he wanted)

I like the idea of roleplaying saying 'No' and telling an adult - I think he will enjoy that