Broodiness is upon me again but worrying that gap will be too big

[peckarollover]

I have DD nearly 6 and Ds just turned 2.

Ive been pretty undecided for ages about having another sometimes thinking I will stick with 2 and sometimes longing for another but only fleetingly.

Im at that stage where Im thinking of it more and more and actually starting to get physically broody IYKWIM

I cant really have another one now because we have debts to pay off and I would really like them under control before we add another baby - in an effort to help with debt I have just registered as a childminder. If I have another it will affect my earning potential as Im only registered for so many children. Also, not sure how well I would cope with 3 of my own and looking after others.

The thing is I thought the gap between DD and DS was almost too big - would like a smaller gap - thinking about it gap wise I would like to have the newborn now with 2 years between Ds and baby.

But if we dont even try for one for a long while yet Im goign to end up with another 4-5 year age gap and think this might be a bit well....pants really. Will all three of them be like individual only children? It would mean DS never being at home with the baby and me.

On the other hand - I found going from 1 to 2 quite easy as DD was starting nursery and was able to entertain herself for periods whilst I was breast feeding etc

Well...that was a rambling nonsense post wasnt it!

Not sure what I am asking really! Anyone else have 3 kids with a few years in between each one?

Would anyone recommend just going for it or am I right to wait a while?

That's a tough one. I go through extremely broody times but dh simply doesn't want to try for another one yet (ds is 2). I have found that getting really involved with ds helps me to deal with it, and the broody feelings pass for a while at least. Can't give you any advice on the 3 kids except that I do have 2 older brothers myself - one 12 years older and one 10 years older. They were not close to each other at all when they were younger but I was always close to both of them. Not what you might have expected with that type of gap.

I've done it both ways - my first three (well 4 as dd2's twin died) were born within 3 years. We then had a 7 year gap before no. 4.
It works both ways - the first 3 are very close and we still had all the equipment to hand, but the baby now 20 months is a breeze. Also the others are very helpful now - play on the swings with her, in the pool etc.

Ds is already 2.5 so if I did have another (and it's a big if, I'm not at all broody and neither is dh) there will be a big gap. BUT if I really want another I don't think that will matter.

I guess it depends on if you have age on your side.

pecka, you know I've only got a little over 2 yrs between between each of mine so if you want to grill me at all, feel free.

I'll have msn on today.

Oh....i was emmatmg incase you missed my change over.

Its a hard one. My dd will be 5 soon and I was really broody up until about a year ago. Now dh is really broody and I just dont know. I never thought i'd just have one but now I'm used to it. But I cant quite say no never again, I cant cope with the thought of never being pregnant again. But dd really is an only child and I wonder how it will affect her. She's quite insistent that she doesnt want a brother or sister although I'm sure she would get used to it, well she'd have no choice really! Sorry im rambling I cant sort this one out in my head and i feel time is ticking, im 35 soon. On a selfish angle we have a nice life. We no longer are at the strapped for cash stage, we can do and go pretty much where we want to with dd. God that sounds really selfish but weve had years of being skint and im not sure I want to go back there. Sorry not very helpful for your dilemma. My Mum always says go with your heart but thats difficult when you heart is sending you mixed messages.

I do have age on my side - I am only 24 BUT I had my first at 18 and one thing I have always said is that I have missed out on my late teens/early twenties so would at least like a lot of my thirties to myself! I dont want to keep knocking them out all of my life!

There is also the issue of space as we only have 3 bedroomed house and 3rd room very small but Im sure we would manage.

Its the money thing that bothers me most.

I almost wish that I really didnt want another one as my life is starting to get pretty easy, the house is getting tidier and we are getting plenty of sleep lol

But when I think of breastfeeding my newborn or watching DS become a big brother or, or, or ohhhhhhhh a million reasons I just cant imagine not having another one.

Emmatg - I never noticed your name change!! will chat to you on msn

I have only two but there is a 7 year gap between them. Although I never planned to have such a big gap I am finding that it is working extremely well. They absolutely adore each other and dd1 is old enough to keep an eye on dd2 when I go for a quick shower or to the loo. She will also give her her breakfast in the morning while I'm making the sandwiches etc.

Tbh, I often feel it would be a complete logistical nightmare if I had a baby and a toddler - ie. how would I feed the baby with a toddler demanding attention, wouldn't be able to rest when the baby is sleeping (or rush around getting housework etc. done). This gap gives me the opportunity to spend individual time with the baby, one to one which I think is important.

In some ways we would like a third but won't purely because I wouldn't want to have another one too soon and we are getting a bit old now!