children doing 'chores'

[MumBarTheDoorZombiesAreComing]

OK be nice I've never posted here before.

DS is 6.2. I do not give him a chores list but he likes to help me round the house sometimes and I do ask him to do some simple chores.

I ask him to out his ironed clothes in the drawer, strip his bed on a Sunday morning, and he has to tidy his own room. Sometimes when he's been particulary careless and been maucking around whilst eating a sandwich, crisps etc I'll ask him to hoover that patch.

Its never more than about 15 minutes a week.

So OK, a friend rang yesterday to say she was passing on her way back from somewhere and did I fancy a visitor for coffee.

I knew she'd be about an hour, and had just taken underwear and towels out of the tumble when she arrived and put them on kitchen top. I apologised and said I'd just fold/sort it and put the kettle on. (best friend so not really an issue with the items iyswim).

ANYhoo, when sorted called DS to ask him to stick his socks and boxers away, he came and did no problems.

Friends DD then called me lazy in a jokey way but couldn't believe I got him to do it.

Did ironing this morning and called DS to put his trousers, t shirts in the drawer and he started questioning me about why he had to do it. I explained it was a small job, respect etc and I washed/ ironed.

All was fine but I'm now wondering if I am wrong to expect him to do this? Please tell me wwyd??

I think you are totally right.

You are definitely right. My nearly two-year-old DD can get me the dustpan and brush from the kitchen for me when I am cleaning up after her and she does things like put her shoes away and sometimes brings her plate through to the kitchen.

Start as you mean to go on with them otherwise you will end up doing everything for them and resenting it.

It is not like you are sitting with your feet up while your DS scurries around cleaning the house from top to bottom.

What did you say to your friend's child when they said you were lazy?!

I just said they were his clothes so he should put them away just like with his toys. She answered she doesn't do that either (which in part I think is true).

I was just getting pissed off tbh as the kids were eating sweets and just dropping the wrappers on the floor and then even DS did it. I gave them a carrier bag and said to pick them up and in future no sweets if they can't put rubbush in the bin. DS did pick up wrappers (and got a lecture when they'd left).

I'm glad its normal as started to feel mean and a bit whingy but I'm glad its actually normal for children to tidy up after themselves.

at throwing wrappers on the floor. If my mum had found out I had done that at a friend's house I would have been in trouble!

Your house, your rules for all the children in it.

I think you are going to be hearing yourself say: "I don't care what Amy is allowed to do, you're still not doing it," etc etc as your DC grows up though. Oh well.

Your future daughter in law will be very grateful if you can teach your DS to clear up after himself a bit though. I wish my mother in law had got my DP to do something/anything for himself around the house

You are definately doing the right thing. Its a good idea to teach them whilst they are young. When your son is older, you'll probably look back and be grateful you instilled such good habits in him. I wish I'd done as you are doing (if that makes sense) x

Of course you're right.

It is good to get children used to pulling their weight, get them prepared for living independently.

I see it as a parent's job to bring up an independent adult, well that's not gonna happen if they don't take part in everyday chores and housework.

we both work outside the home, and the children have either been at school or collge.

we all have done full days. we all must pitch in to enable the family to function properly.

I would have made all the kids pick up the wrappers too, your house, your rules.

FWIW you are a softie with your DS compared to me! He is 7 and over the last 7 years I have trained him up, increasing the chores bit by bit, and now he has some jobs that are always his responsibility (putting a dark wash on on tuesday and a light wash on on thursday) and he knows he has to do this and if he doesn't the clothes don't get washed.

He also knows and appreciates that there are some jobs that are my responsibility (like hanging up the clothes when the wash is done).

Other than that, he just has to do what I ask of him, and I get him to pull his weight.

Boyfriend also does his fair share of housework and chores so it is a very ewual household really. We all pull our weight and appreciate the others too.

ooo i like the idea of gettign my 8 yr old to do a dark wash at least, mine are 4 and 8, they alwasy set table and dd whos 8 will dry the pots or help load the dishwasher and they are both resonsible for tidying there own rooms or i threaten to bing bag the lot, ds is a dab hand at emptying the dishwasher after i have removed the shapr knives. DD sweeps the floors and cleans out the guineas. Perhaps i should be getting mine to do more.

Sounds fine to me. Ds (aged 9) has to tidy his own room, he also empties the dishwasher most mornings, often sets the table, and now often helps with preparing the meal, as he is interested in cooking (gets out equipment, peels and chops vegetables, weighs stuff out etc).

I'm with you OP ! My kids help out (11 and 9). They appreciate that me and DH work and at the weekend we get out of the house quicker if they pitch in and tidy a bit.

They both fold their own underwear and pair their socks when I dump them in front of them when they are watching tv. Both do the dishwasher when asked. Both take stuff upstairs when I ask.

What a shock to leave home and suddenly be responsible for all these jobs you have no idea how to do.

...and it's not a hotel I'm running here!!

You are doing a good job bringing them up to do chores .

DS is almost 4 and he has to put his socks / pants / vests away, load the tumble dryer when needed, take his bed linen off (every other week) and put his clothes in the dirty wash basket. It only takes him a few minutes at most and he can't do it wrong so I leave him to it.

Even 2yo DD has to put her clothes in the dirty wash basket.

I'm not a clean freak though, I can cope with pen on walls and muddy clothes.

I have taught my 16 month old to unload the children's plastic plates and bowls from the dishwasher and put them in the right drawer.
Start 'em early, I say [hgrin]

overmydeadbody Loving it I'll start getting DS to put his uniform in the wash on a Friday evening (one dark wash) and put mine and his bedding in on a Sunday.

Don't have a dishwasher and he's a clutz so for the sake of my crockery I'll leave the washing up one .

He does lay the table now and take his own plates etc back to the kitchen and in his moments of cuteness sucking up he'll offer to take mine too.

I'm just so glad I'm not being unreasonable I got really upset yesterday that I seemed to be spoiling the kids fun by constant nagging to pick up after themselves.

FWIW I did want all the kids to pick up the wrappers but only DS actually did it and very hard to say something other than 'please pick it up' when the other DC's mum is there.