How Much Leeway do you a give a Baby is unwell at Bedtime?

[QueenSconetta]

My DD is 11.5 months, and has a chest infection, which we have antibiotics for.

She has been quite clingy, I think because she didn't feel well, and has started to wake in the night with coughing where previously she slept through.

I started bringing her through to our room to comfort her and letting her doze off on my shoulder, cos she's not well.

However now she doesn't want to go back into her own bed most of the time and has started to scream the place down.

Any advice on treading the fine line between comforting my sick baby and getting her back into bad habits and making a rod for my own back?

CC has worked really well for us in the past, but I feel even worse than normal doing it when she doesn't feel 100%.

I would give her all the comfort she needs whilst unwell.

When my children are ill I do anything and everything to make them more comfortable. That is my only priority.

Ditch the cliches. You are not making any rods.

Ill babies need cuddles, security and comfort. Healthy babies go through periods of this too. Listen to your baby. She won't go off to university still sharing your bed. When she is ready she'll be happy on her own.

My eldest is 4 and hardly ever wants to be with us unless he is ill. His younger brother does more frequently.

I think that clingy babies, who get plenty of cuddles and security, grow into very secure and dependent toddlers.

I found that all my babies were a bit of a 'nightmare' after they'd been unwell. I agree with the other posters that whilst she is unwell she needs your comfort. Once she is better you can work on getting back in her own room.

Good Lord, you're making it sound like I'm shutting her in the garden shed while I watch the TV on full volume so I can't hear her!

I have been and do comfort her, but wasn't sure if getting her totally out of her routine would be good for anyone.

Also I know I will struggle to cope if she starts being up for hours at a time in the night again now I am back at work and have to get up at 5.30am, not getting home until 6pm. I struggle to cope as it is, but manage just about.

And I don't mean while she is not well, whatever she needs when she is not well is fine, I mean I am concerned totally breaking her rountine now will not be good for any of us once she is better.

However, I suppose if we managed to establish a routine once we can do it again once she is better.

I have found the worst part of being a working parent is getting through the winter with a little one, as they seem to be constantly ill!

Be sure to take care of yourself too, and keep your strength up.

Queen - i can understand what your worried about. My Ds was ill non stop last year and i too took him in with us whilst he was ill. When he was eating better, well in day, no temp etc then i found he woke less in night so getting him back in his bed was easier as he only woke once or twice. Usually within 2-3 days he is back to sleeping well ( well as good as he ever!)

Good luck and i hope your little on feels better soon

We have rarely had DS in with us when he is ill as we really don't want to be co-sleepers so we give him all the comfort he wants in his own room. DS is in a full size single bed which helps, because if he wakes and needs us (whether ill or just a bad dream) then one of us will go in to his room and sit and stroke him, cuddle him, kiss him or even get into bed and cuddle him to sleep - whatever he needs to feel settled. I think it has also helped him establish in his mind that his room is somewhere that he feels safe and secure even when unwell, so now he is 2.7 he will happily settle in there even when ill.

We do always take it easy on routine (we don't have a strict one, but there is a definite routine) - bed when he needs it, food when he wants it rather than what is usual etc. - but have found that a few days after he is really well again that everything snaps back into place.

Having said that I do have a child whose general response to illness and upset is to sleep it off rather than to be wakeful at night, so maybe it is easier for us to do this.

QueenSconetta I used to be super strict with DS's sleep routine and was worried about bad habits etc. When he was about 2 after a bout of illness he wouldn't go to sleep without me and I freaked out about losing our routine and our fabulous sleeper.

I made him go to sleep alone without me too early and he has been scared of the dark ever since-he is almost 8 now! It is something I feel eternally guilty for and is a complete pain in the arse TBH.

I know its extremely unfashionable on this website but I, like you wholeheartedly subscribe to a routine and think that rods can easily be made, but on this occasion I was wrong. He is still a fabulous sleeper and a happy, confident young man though- I haven't damaged him badly!
So I think I am sating patience is needed until she is 100%

Queen, I understand where you're coming from. Give him all the cuddles and comfort he needs until he is obviously better but give them in his own room and keep the lights on low and everything low key. This way he'll associate his own room with security and comfort and it'll be easier to get him back to his routine. I keep a comfortable chair in my DD's room just for this reason - so I can comfort her in the security of her own room and then put her back in her cot. Now if she wakes she doesn't automatically think she can come to our room.

We had the same thing when ds1 was about 11 months, he had a tummy bug and then got 9 teeth in 7 days

Previously he had a fab bedtime routine and would go to sleep happily on his own after a story and a cuddle but this threw him completely and it ended up with him not being able to sleep on his own. We had a flippin nightmare. We had to stand at his bedroom door for 2-3 hours some nights, even when he'd been quiet with eyes closed for an hour or more when we crept away he'd sit bolt upright and start to scream. He was waking 3+ times per night, we started to co-sleep, the works.

Eventually after 4 months (ridiculous now we look back) we realised enough was enough and he needed sorting! A bit of Baby Whispering and he was sorted fairly quickly.

What I'm trying to say is that I agree with everyone that dc get tons of cuddles when they are poorly but since then the minute mine are better it's back to routine as I aren't going through months of hellish nights again. DC are 3 and 4 now though so hopefully the crappy nights are done???

Hope your dd is better soon
x

Thanks all, she is a lot better thank you. Still getting up during the night but been easier to get her back down. I have the yucky cold/flu thing now so we both need the cuddles, lol.