Help! I need some advice...

[Lindsay2]

I have a 22 month old toddler and a 4 week old baby - both girls. All was going ok,toddler not jealous, behaviour not changed, bedtime routine fine. Baby up all night, but I expected that.

Then last week my toddler got a virus and was in hospital for 2 nights. For the week she was sick we lost her routine. She's better now but refuses to sleep in her cot. Last 2 nights have been a nightmare, it took hours to get her to bed and she woke in the night several times. She is now down stairs watching Shrek 2 with dad and Im upstairs with the baby (who's wide awake!)

Can anyone advise me on how to get my toddler back in her cot. Im not up for controlled crying, especially because I dont want her upset at the moment as I dont want her to become jealous of the baby.

Help!! - I'm shattered!!

When my dc refused to sleep in cot we used a gaual withdrawal method. Stroke their back and try to speak softly to reassure them you are there. Then stop touching but keep speaking. As they relax gradually move away from the cot, still speaking. It may take a while before you can leave but after a few nights it pays dividends!

Was meant to say gradual not gaual...crap keyboard!

christ, we've been there a million times. we always just let them sleep with us for a few nights and gradually work them back into their own beds. i think it's normal for them to be unsettled after being unwell. i'm from the relaxed school of parenting tho and have always had a mildly 'family bed' policy.

I have a 4 year old DS and I have always found that his sleep goes to pot for a good few nights after any disruption. When DD was born he was terrible for weeks. But with any illness it would upset his sleep for several days after.

I think you're doing exactly the right thing by allowing her to stay downstairs with her dad for a while. You may well find that gentle handling for a few nights is all that's required. With DS though, we find it works best to give in for the first night or two and let him fall asleep downstairs, the next night or two encourage him back up to bed but do the whole bedtime routine again - stories, songs etc. - then after that he will tend to settle as before.

Thanks for the advice so far. Its good to know that this is a common problem. Im finding it really tough at the moment. Today, in a cafe I noticed I had leaked breast milk through my breast pads on to my t-shirt - and even worse I didnt care!

the good thing about being that age is that their schedules can be flexible for a bit and it doesn't really matter. so what if she needs extra cuddles/contact until she's feeling more secure... go with thine flow.

She was going with the flow...wet t-shirt and all

I agree it's a very common problem but I wouldn't start taking her downstairs again after bedtime - I read somewhere it only takes three consecutive episodes to make a habit and I'm fairly sure you don't want midnight Shrek itching to become a habit!
By all means stay with her in her room but keep the lights down and cuddle quietly or even let her sleep in your bed, just to get her back into the night time is sleep time part of her routine,

And don't worry about the leaking milk thing - I answered the door to the DHL delivery man part way through a feed last week and DS kindly popped off so I inadvertently flashed him and much of the street

Shrek WATCHING not Shrek itching - although that's probably also a habit you don't want to get into
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