will it get better reassurance needed....

[PipIsOutNow]

hi everyone!!

i have a 15 week old baby who is really not grasping the whole sleeping at night thing and tbh im just exhausted and i actually feel ill im so tired. he wouldnt sleep in his moses basket when he was born so we had him in bed with us and safely co slept even tho i was ff he wouldnt take to bf. he started going in his cot for a bit but then wouldnt settle in there so iv brought him back into bed with me so that i can at least get some sleep but he's awful. im lucky to get 3 hours in one go out of him but then he's kicking and thrashing about i literally had no sleep at all last night. and i cried when he woke again at 5 after 2 hours so i just brought him downstairs fed up of wrestling him to sleep. now i know he's 15 weeks so doesnt know better etc etc and i know that he wouldnt be fussing and crying just to come in bed with me coz he's too young to realise. i just dont know what to do!!

my partner works nights mon-fri and is no help at all thru the week for this reason. i feel so alone and am sick of feeling so shit too. we're arguing coz im so tired.

i dont even know why im posting really...just for some reassurance i suppose. he's not even that hungry when he wakes as he only took 2oz. he's got a dummy but doesnt really have it that much as he's not all that fussed. i need to get some sleep and need some sort of routine. can someone help me or advise me please....thank you xx

Have you tried white noise? You can download soundtracks of it, worked wonders settling my ds. Other than that have you spoken to your hv? May have more advice or just be able to support you until lo settles down. Is there anyone that would take lo for a night or just a few hrs so you can have a break?

not tried white noise no...il have a look...i know its stupid but i dont want to talk to health visitor as i dont want to be seen as a failure...got no one to have him for the night, and no one offers to have him for me to have a break...i feel so isolated, alone, unhappy and exhausted. i cant even be bothered to cook proper food for myself. iv got no motivation or energy...thanks for reply

A random longshot here, and I'm starting to be at risk of geting myself known for suggesting it, but could your baby have reflux? (Even if the silent kind) Have a look on old threads or 'www.cryingoverspiltmilk.nz'and see if you recognise any symptoms in your LO. If yes, get to your GP and tell them what you have told us. The wriggling in his sleep is what brought this to my mind.

Does your partner do 8 hours at night? maybe he could take little man for a few hours after he has slept in the day, even just occasionally and let you have a nap? my dh worked nights and did this for me when he could, just having a break from the responsibility really helped, he liked having the time without me interfering to play with his dd's so win win. Bit harder if he does 12 hour hours tho. My DH asked if partner is in night mode could he maybe do a"night duty" sometimes when he's not working? - have to say we tried this but dh was sometimes so disorientated being woken that I ended up getting up and being cross with him. Are either grandparents near, could they take ds for a bit? Try and sleep during the day when/if he naps. possibly try letting him sleep in the next room so you don't get woken by minor snuffles. As Roo suggested maybe speak to your hv.I remember it felt like it went on forever and at times I felt desperate for an unbroken night but you will get through it, very few teenagers get into their parents beds and keep them awake with the wiggling - but then they have other ways of keeping you awake, Just hang on in there.

My DH works nights too. When I was really shattered he would look after the baby for a couple of hours when he came home in the morning and I would go back to bed for a couple of hours. Still plenty of day left for him to get a good sleep later in the day.

After all, a partner working 9-5 would still expect to participate in the childcare when they come home wouldn't they? No need to struggle on your own

Perfectly normal to have no routine and frequent wakings at this age too. I did always feel under pressure to minimise crying in case it woke him in the day, I would suggest earplugs, and trying not to worry about it. After all, you get woken by the baby too.