How can I get over my embarrassment about talking to dd about facts of life?

[Dancergirl]

My oldest dd is 9.5. She is quite young in some ways for her age and doesn't know much about the facts of life, apart what she is more than likely picking up in the playground.

I've been meaning for the past year to talk to her, not so much about sex, but more about puberty, periods etc to prepare her. I was an early developer and I've just noticed recently tiny breast buds on her.

Now I know the mature, adult thing to do is be matter-of-fact, answer questions honestly as they come up etc, but I am finding this really hard. I do have a book lined up ready for her, but I don't really want to just give her the book and run. But I know she'll pick up on my embarrassment and I don't want to give her a complex. I suppose I feel bit funny, for example, using proper names rather than noony and willy.

Am I alone in this? Everything I read on these forums about talking to children about sex, everyone seems very comfortable and matter-of-fact about it all.

And my other question - she's only got tiny breast buds at the moment - how long will it be before they start to develop properly and pubic hair, periods etc? She seems so young!

I talked about it when the subject came up - either from DS himself or something on the tv or in the papers. I always asked what his opinion was on the subject to try and judge what his understanding was already and took it from there. It is much easier to talk about things like that when engaged in another activity....preparing lunch, craft or whatever...then it seems less contrived.

Tell her that it's embarrassing, get your discomfort right out there... but with a giggle. So you can both laugh at how awkward it is. Laugh at yourselves for finding it hard to talk about. And talk about why it's so hard and yet so important to talk about something so intimate.

Once you actually do it, use the proper names and talk about these things openly, it gets unbelievably easy. It's just getting over that initial hurdle.

Look into a local speakeasy course. Most boroughs offer them - it's a course run by fpa specifically to help you talk about sex ed. I think you will do great and it's great you have posted for advice (I work in sexual health so am at opposite end of spectrum - I worry I will be too frank with my dd- thankfully she us only 8months at min so I have time to tone it down!)