Sex...What do I tell my 9 yr old ?

[littlebum]

Me & my husband were in bed making love when I looked up & my 9 yr little boy was standing there watching us, pls help by telling me how I tell him ? I don't even know if he's had any sex education at schol yet ! ....

The truth?

That sex is something that adults do and that it's a way of showing each other how much they love each other. That it's normal in a healthy relationship. And that's what you were doing.

And may be wise to teach him to knock in future? Our rule is that if the bedroom door is open they can come and go as they please, but if it's closed then they must knock first and wait until we open it.

I learnt that the hard way.

At 9 I'd be surprised if he was completely unaware. Even if you have been remiss in educating so far, other boys will have told him things.

So now tell him about sex. And to knock. Loudly.

Tell him the basic mechanics, this bit fits here and although that sounds icky (it is very icky) it feels nice when you are all grown up. However, it's not for children, people mustn't do it with genetic relatives, either. If you do it wrong you end up getting diseases or make babies and nobody should have to deal with those problems until they are all grown up. That is about the level he needs to hear. He'll need more details at about age 11 when he goes to high school and he'll probably have his first ejaculation at about age 12, he deserves to know that that is before it actually happens.

By now he will have heard the WEIRDEST things in the playground, it's irresponsible to let him going on believing such rubbish. Unless you ask him not to (or maybe even if you do ask) he will tell his mates that he saw you at it, btw, after this he will be desperate to talk about it and figure it out. Better that you dispel any bizarre ideas now. And you can ask him to keep it to himself that he saw you at it.

I know it's initially horrid to tackle these things, but once you've just approached it head-on it becomes quite ordinary and pretty easy to talk about.

how about the truth? He's not exactly a baby

Be honest. Just be very factual with details and also explain how it happens between loving adults. Get a book off the internet too maybe?

Thanks for that, lots of good advise that I have taken on board, I know I need to tell him, but I wasn't sure exactly how much & in what detail he needs to know at this age.

lock on the bedroom door was the best thing about our house renovations!

But tell him just as much as he needs to know - mums and dads do it not just for babies but because they enjoy it. But it's a private thing between adults, so he needs to knock on bedroom doors in future. Also of his siblings, because we all need private time sometimes.

deffo the truth

usbourne do good books

i like a nice book, then you can do the explaining with visual aids :)

dd1 was fascinated, we chatted for over an hour :)

agree with MayorNaze. A book was a great help when explaining things to DD.

We had the sex talk with her when she was 9 for two reasons - 1 being we knew the school was going to start sex education very soon and 2 was being I started my period when I was 9 1/2 and didn't want that to come as a shock to her IF she did too.

My thing about sex education at the school - I'm not opposed to it at all. However I do believe explaining important things in life are parental responsibility so I wanted to get my oar in first on talking about sex.

So my thoughts are, if a situation arises or is a DC is asking questions, best to be open and honest because if not, the impression that sex is wrong/dirty/taboo 'might' be planted.