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Encouraging sibling bonding?

3 replies

taffetawitchescat · 23/10/2010 20:42

My friend, who doesn't have children, called over today. As we were leaving the house with DD(4), I asked DS(6) to give her a cuddle as she was off out and he wouldn't see her during the afternoon. This isn't something I normally request, only very occasionally. My feeling is that they should be left to develop their relationship themselves, within kind, respectful and loving parameters. It just seemed appropriate this time, its never something I've really thought about.

My friend commented later that she thought it was really great that I did this, encouraging them to be close and cuddle each other. She said her parents did it with her and her sister, almost forcing the bond, and thought their subsequent closeness as adults was connected to this.

It really got me thinking. My parents never did it obviously with my sister and I and we aren't massively close, and DH's parents didn't do it with his siblings either and they aren't close at all.

My rational side says I shouldn't overthink this, and should just go with my instinct on this, which is that DD would happliy cuddle DS all day, but he's not that keen, so I don't wish to over egg it, but that if there are circumstances that call for it, to take advantage.

What do you do with your DC, if anything?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mummytime · 23/10/2010 20:54

I've never made my kids cuddle, but at 14 (boy) 12 (girl) and 7 (girl) they do at least some of the time spontaneously. Although when 12 does cuddle 14 year old at school it is more to humiliate him.

I think you can encourage closeness but not force it. Hopefully they will "be there" for each other as adults, but not necessarily in each others pockets.

taffetawitchescat · 23/10/2010 21:24

Thanks mummytime. LOL @ your DD(12).

Good point about being there for each other - DH and I are for our siblings, but as you say just not in each other's pockets.

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bendybanana · 23/10/2010 21:45

Cuddling is nice but maybe them having fun together bonds too?

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