What age can I stop using DD2 as an excuse...

[Bumperlicious]

...for DD1 watching too much TV, not doing housework, eating and buying convenience food/chocolate etc.?

DD2 is 4 weeks old. It's not like I'm not doing anything, we are out and about, going to see friends, breastfeeding groups, shopping etc. But today we are all still in PJs (DH at work), DD1 (3) been watching back to back TV (in between a tantrum over a pillow ). I'm also still mainlining chocolate/biscuits and cake, especially during night feeds when I am really hungry). I am managing to crochet while DD2 asleep in the sling (so nice to be able to do something for myself) but can't help but thing about the bathroom which needs cleaning, laundry needing to be put away...

At what point can I no longer use having a new baby as an excuse for all of the above?

Never, that's the whole point of having children. I'm still in bed while DH is making lunch because I'm still "exhausted" 15 years later.

God invented TV for a reason.

Oh no, never!
I tell people i am fat because i have had a baby.....to which they reply "ahhh, how old?"
to which i confess, "well he is 7 now, but that baby weight is a bugger to shift"

perhaps when dd2 leaves home...

but perhaps not even then because of course you'll need time to recover from the trauma...

Thanks for the replies

I am semi serious though, I have no barometer as to how well i am doing. the lack of sleep makes me lethargic. i feel bad for not doing more for/with dd1 & we seem to be falling out regularly. tv is our friend at the moment.

at this age you bump (no pun intended) along as best you can - as dd2 gets older you'll find yourself doing more and feeling like doing more.

dd2 is still very young and at this age you just do what absolutely has to be done and embrace cbeebies as the best friend you'll have for a while

I am completely serious.

Are you breathing in and out - check
Are your DC's healthy - check
Are you stressing about something that you and DD will not even remember in future - check

Go and eat some nutella, you are doing wonderfully.

Well, ds is 3 and dd is 4 weeks and I am pretty much doing exactly the same as you are. I am giving myself another 2 weeks and then Im cracking on with the healthy eating and bit of exercise and becoming the earth mother I always thought I would be was before I had dd

Clocking in as another with a 3 year old and a month old baby. Sometimes I think we've cracked it and other days I just look forward to bedtime because it's another day under our belts without loss of life or limb. DP's hours have been cut so I'm getting lots of help but that makes it hard to find a routine.

I think another 2 weeks sounds good - then I'll start with the gym and a reduction in cake intake.

Trying to reduce DS's tv watching though, his behaviour sucks when he's been CBeebied.

I gave myself a month. I'm considering requesting an extension!

Extension granted. How long would you like?

bump know you've been having a bit of a rough time recently with feeding etc and as you know I have ds2 who is slightly older than your dd2.

Last night after 5 1/2 weeks of feeding every hour to hour & half through the night ds2 slept 6pm till midnight, had a 20minute feed then slept till 6.30 this morning. I'm hoping it wasn't just fluke but I'm really hoping that things get much better for you really soon and I'm telling you this to let you know that things DO get better.

As for the housework, don't worry, do what you can when you can but most of all make sure you're looking after yourself and your dd's and the rest will follow with time.

4 weeks is still very young! as you said, its not like you are not doing anything. it is a weekend, i think you can allow yourself staying in pjama, tv etc its always good to relax. i dont think you should even feel bad about it at all

DD2 is 4 months and I'm still using her as an excuse... reckon I can get a bit more mileage out of it yet

It wasn't til she was around 12 weeks that I started actually managing to cook dinner every night, hoover once in a while etc. Up til then it was a case of just getting through the day and living on food out of the freezer.

Still mainlining cake and chocolate though

What is it you feel you should be doing?

Is your baby healthy and happy? Are you?

Great. Sorted.

Thanks everyone. DD2 is gorgeous & lovely. I forgot just how horrendous the lack of sleep is though.

I've got so much i feel i should be doing (more stuff with dd1, cooking, housework), sorting out stuff for the nct sale. and stuff I want to be doing, baking, crochet, making presents for christmas.

problem is any 'break' is either spent holding dd2 to make sure she sleeps, or showering, eating, sleeping. little chance for anything else. occasionally i stick her in the sling to try & get things done but after the 'things you miss now your dc are older' thread i have realised i should appreciate this lovely newborn stage (before she becomes a hideous screaming 3 year like dd1 currently is )

I wouldn't worry too much until they are sleeping through.