My STBExH and I separated in August as a direct result of his drug addiction and alcoholism. All trust has completely broken down and the marriage is over. We have 3 children, 12, 8 & 5. We are civil to one another and he sees the children most days. we do not argue in front of them and are doing quite a good job of being amicable so far.
the eldest child knows exactly what has happened, he does not want his father home. I talk to him about what has happenned, but there is no need to 'hide' things from him as he has seen his afther drunk adn abusive many times.
The youngest child lives 'in the day'. He is secure and quite happy seein Daddy most days and living with me.
The middle child is very upset and cannot understand why we cant live together any more. My H has said he 'did not want to leave' so the pressure has come onto me to 'explain' in some words why the separation is permenant. I do not want to lie, but I do not want to reveal the depth of hurt and destruction that living with an alcoholic has created. I dont want to slag his father off.
any ideas about what I can say >? how to actually explain enough, but not too much, in a not too negative way ? We have tried 'Daddy has an illness' - but ds2 then expects him to 'get better' and come home.....