3 years of sleep deprivation. Not looking for answers just someone to talk to!

[pevie]

Hi.

I used to post on here all the time when DD2 was a baby looking for anwers to her horrific sleep problems and people were very helpful. I was even helpful to others at times as had solved most of DD1s sleep problems.

I stopped posting after a while as things did get a bit better but then got worse, then better, then worse... you get the picture. anyways, we finally got an answer to some of the problems in that DD2 has coeliac disease which explained a lot of the night problems so we put her on a GF diet a little while back. But sadly, we are still experiencing some fairly hellish sleep problems. Last night it felt like every half hour or so for about 3 hours until we finally got about 4 hours sleep. This doesn't happen every night but happens at least a few times a week if not more. Good nights are when she is up twice!!

Anyway, I don't think anyone really appreciates how much this drains the life out of you unless you have been through it yourself. I feel like sleep is my drug and I crave it day and night if that makes sense.

Its just incredibly hard and I think people in the real world have lost interest now, as hhow can you keep talking about how little sleep you get, so am just now subjecting you lot to it!!!!

Hope this doesn't depress too many new mums as we are definately unusual!!!

I am so sorry you are still going through it.

Sleep deprivation is indeed a special kind of hell.

I once told someone sincerely that I had had a good night last night, as DD had only woken three times, I managed to get back to sleep within the hour each time and DS didn't wake until 6 oclock.....

I am not having those problems any more, but three years of sleep deprivation turned me into a resentful zombie who found it hard to enjoy my children.

Am going to bed now. She usually starts her nocturnal wakings about half ten, eleven so we sometimes try to get an hour in first.

I do have a life sometimes but it depends whether we are going through a particularly bad phase. Do feel its a shame that I've not fully enjoyed these last 3 years cos she's a wonderful child apart from this and its also impacted on DD1 and DH!!! Feel like we're in this particular hell together!!

Anyway, will come back and chat tomorrow, just feels better sharing!!!!

hope your night is as uneventful as possible in the circumstances

You poor thing. My DD had a few sleep problems, nothing like as bad as what you're going through though. Once she started getting over them DS came along, so it felt like 5 years or so of bad sleep, given I slept really badly in pregnacy too. Sometimes I feel like I'm just getting over it now tbh.
Just wanted to offer sympathy really.

Sympathy from here too, dd2 is a horrendous sleeper although I've only been at the coalface for 18 months!

Thanks all. Guess you just want to know you're not alone. So please feel free to share your own hideous nightmare stories. It might make me feel better!!!

Last night started on the button at half ten, then kept getting up about every half hour to an hour till about 1. I didn't really drop off to near 2 and then she woke at half 5, she went back off till about 7 but I didn't really. am just glad I got through the day, was at work and felt like my head was mush!!!!

Sometimes when she's had a few bad nights in a row sleeps not too badly but am afraid to think that incase not, Will just need to spend weekend taking naps!!! At least i have a DH to share hell with!!!!

i remember you from the early days of your sleep hell. i remember trying to offer help in the form of my experience with a refluxy ds1 who was the most abysmal sleeper (maximum of 45 minute stints throughout the night). i now have a 2 year old ds2 who has never even come close to sleeping a night through. i think 3 wake ups has been his best night to date. he was prem and suffers from asthma and is such a dear little soul but oh my goodness am i done in. like a pp, i struggle to sleep during pregnancy too so i am now beyond the 5 year mark of not having a full nights sleep (or even close to one)ds1 is now a very god sleeper (although has just had tonsils and adenoids out so up a lot at the mo because of pain

the extra depressing thing for me is that dh blames me and thinks it is all my fault, so no support there

i so understnad what you mean about sleep being your drug. i crave it almost as much as i still crave my old 40 a day cigareete habit! hope you feel less alone now!

Hi Pevie just wanted to add how sorry I am that you have been going through this.

My youngest suffers from night terrors but has never been a particularly good sleeper anyway. I am on my own and sometimes just long for someone else to be there to help out. She is nearly 4 now and I've read that kids can grow out of night terrors by the time they are 8, so I guess I am half way there!

Sympathies. Really hope things improve for you and your family xx

Thanks again. What a shame zonedout that DH blames you. I think that's quite common. My DH doesn't blame me but does sometimes say things like, 'Shes not in pain now, its all behavioural' as if me going into her when she cries out is the problem. I know she now has bad sleep associations but its really difficult to break these when you feel that she is still experiencing discomfort. We did pay a woman when she was about a year and a half to help support us through a gradual withdrawal programme so that she could at least learn to go to sleep without me having to rock her at all times. It was probably the most gradual withdrawal in history as it took about 10 weeks for me to be able to put her down and go out the room, but that did help a lot at the time and didn't involve too much crying which I can't bear. But whenever she has sore tummy I feel I need to stay with her till she drops off, so I think she does rely on this.

Superdeeduper, sorry you're on your own dealing with it. With regard to night terrors, our oldest has this and we find that avoiding her being too tired, avoiding overheating or trying to change some sleep patterns helps a bit. She tends to do it in the evening so at least that doesn't disrupt sleep too much, although you do have to have family to babysit if you ever need one as it freaks people out when she does it.

Did have okayish sleep last night, only up briefly 3 times. So feel a bit human. Sending good sleep vibes to you all.

this is it for me too pevie, i just cannot tolerate any amount of letting him cry alone. but i have found peace with that and therefore know i have to simply ride this through. sometimes easier said than done. i had a particularly awful night last night (first wake up as i was posting hence all of the typos). i barely clocked up an hour of broken sleep last night.

funnily enough, ds1 also suffers from night terrors. he went through an awful patch of them every night for about 5 weeks at the beginning of the summer, which co-incided with him leaving his much loved pre-school. they also tended to happen within a couple of hours of him going to bed so rarely woke me. but horrible and distressing nonetheless.

It is hard to hear them cry although I have to say the woman we used who I came across at the baby show was a godsend to us, cos like you we had year and a half where it was just constant and we felt absolutely demented. DD2 had never learned to go to sleep on her own so we did it very gradually by rocking, then staying with her hugging in bed, and so on, until I could go out the room. And i have to say there were very little tears involved as we took it so slowly. At the time it made a massive difference as she would then go for blocks of about 5 or 6 hours when she had never managed more than about 2. During the night I still went to her and if she was really agitated would pick her up so obviously didnt totally cut that out so was never perfect but it still helped. problem is as she is still uncomfortable sometimes you still need to comfort. But I guess what I learned from the experience is that even if they learn to comfort themselves a little at bedtime, it still helps.

anyway, don't know if it helps your situation as obviously we've totally gone back the way now!!!!! It still gives me hope though that she did go through a phase of being not too bad!!

Hope its better tonight - you have our utmost sympathy and support as having it with both must be hell. i often say that if DD1 had been like this she would have been an only child!!