It all went horribley wrog today - any tips on coping with 3 under 4?

[OnEdge]

Bloomin daughter ended up having to do a poo in the pre school car park

and the lady at the self checkout ended up helping me to the car with the shopping

and I stressed out my GP who was trying to do an 8 week check on baby whilst 16 month old had a tantrum all over her floor in a pooey nappy

I was doing so well, but now I am just fire fighting I know it. I have started doing crap stuff like giving them mini rolls when they start to get shouty, ts cutting corners I know. I am not resting appart from an hour in the evening and actually went 7 days without a shower last week which is disgusting. I just kept meaning to but I couldn't get in it.

Any tips or advice from the experts?

you have 3 dc all under 4 and the youngest is 8 weeks!! How the hell do u do it? Dont think i'd shower for a month never mind a week! Dont be so hard on yourself! Its still really early days and u dont have the break of the kids being at school, try to get some rest at some point it'll make u feel a million times better,i hope dh helps

Thanks, that was a lovely response
Husband is very good, but has been kind of cramming for a very big interview for the past week so I have let him get on with it. He has to sleep at night so that he can do his job, but the truth is, I have my own business and bring in around the same money each month. I have to do my e mails when I get chance, often at 03.00 when i am feeding the baby. So I am doing the nights with the baby who is bottle fed my breast milk, so I am expressing too. Then I have to do the day too, its a bloomin killer. Something has to give, but I don't know what.

To top it all, I had a row with my Mum yesterday in the High street, she walked away and left me with the baby in a pram, the 16 month old in his buggy and the 3 year old in tears. I just stood there thinking FUCK !!

Think you are doing amazingly well.

Is there any chance you could put the 16 month old into nursery a couple of mornings a week to give you a bit of a break or kick your mother and get her to have one or 2 of them for a couple of hours once a week to give you a break?

Also your dh may now need to pay attention to you and give you some more support especially bedtime and weekends.

Well, the "something" that has to give is your husband thinking that he gets to sleep through the night, when you're bringing in half the pay and doing 100% of the childcare. That's ridiculous. Unless he operates heavy machinery or is a professional racing driver, he can suck it up and start helping.

Do you have any paid help? To be honest, I don't think you need tips for coping, I think you need to acknowledge that no human being can look after 3 under 4 fulltime, including a newborn, and also run a business singlehandedly! Your husband's interview is not more important than the fact that you went a week without a shower.

onedge...something will give...it'll be you! really...you must get some time to rest or you will end up in a very awful downward spiral that will be difficult to climb up from.

right....no harm in having people to help you...the lady in the shop was probably pleased to get a change of scenery for a bit, so don't worry about her...

do you have a double buggy? maybe a double with a sling for the new baby? it means that all the kids are "contained". you can swap the baby for the 3yo if they want to walk....more difficult to push, get in shops etc, but you know where they all are, and can manage by yourself.

no shame in a bit of bribery positive enciouragement. i always carried goodies to whip out in a moment of panic when my 3 were younger. haribos have prevented a meltdown many a time!!

plan some tv time for the kids into the day so you can just sit down and rest...cbeebies works!

it does get easier....you must do what you can to get through these days sometimes...

keep on keeping on! x

If you are working, I think you need childcare! Hopefully ion two incomes not out of reach for you to find a nurseery for the 16 month old, and some additional care/hours for the 3yrold (assuming preschool is limited?) And yes, (esp now he's had his interview) your dh needs to help. If the baby's bottle fed expressed milk, no reason night feeds can't be split, and in my opnion no reason they should be all for you!

Thanks for replies. Well something gave, I now have a throat infection type thing. Husband has done interview. We had a chat and he said he will give me a duvet weekend and will take the children out for some long walks to give me some rest. He also thanked me for my support which @i appreciated.

Regarding the double buggy, i usually use the phil n teds, but i took the pram thinking it would be a nice idea for granny to push her grandaughter - never again.

i put a lot of planning and prep into today and it has been much better. managed 3 year olds dental appointment with all 4 of us and ran like clockwork, we also managed a ballet class with dignity intact.

I am feeling more in control. Am looking into the child care thing and have a cleaner coming round Tuesday.

Once again, thanks for your thoughtful replies.

I have 3 under 4 (youngest 4 months) and it is really tough. You are not alone !
I feel I'm fire fighting too and my standards have dropped dramatically. I look back at how much I doted on my first and can hardly believe I had that much time to plan their outfit/lunch/whatever. The new baby is lucky to be out of her pjs by time DH gets home. And all my dreams of having a tv-free home and cooking all organic meals from scratch for the kids and generally being a serene earth-mother have gone out the window! It is more like rush rush, tuna sandwiches (again), rush rush, shove kids into carseats, drive off without coats or nappies, front door left open, late for everthing kind of chaos. Not what I had in mind for ideal parenting but it is how it is. If they are all fed and dressed then that seems like nothing but it is actually an acheivement ! We finally hired a cleaner for one afternoon a week just so that the loo/bathroom/hob get cleaned and no-one gets ill from the dirt. No grandparents to help or relatives or friends nearby to help.

No advice other than breastfeeding got alot quicker and easier after 10 weeks and that made a huge difference. Also, DH putting older two to bed in the evening gives me an hour off. Could you do that? And also I usually get an hour at the weekend to have a bath and that is sacred.
Take care of yourself! You are amazing to be managing as much as you are.