5 week old and two year old-not coping well

[caroline345]

The subject head says it all really-i have a five week old little girl and a two year ten month old little boy. My husband works abroad and went back ten days ago so im doing it all by myself and am so tired, physically and emotionally. I have no family nearby for a break, and although my little boy goes to nursery a few mornings my daughter tends to be awake then and cries like crazy if not being held. I feel so guilty 'cos im yelling far too much at my son who seems to be pushing every button and tantruming like crazy. He's a lovely little chap but is trying it on big time and im not responding in the right way-i know im not but am so tired that i become a demon mummy. Anyway -just looking for moral support really- i know it will get better and am trying to take a day at a time but any tips for managing behaviour with a new arrival would be gratefully received.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are finding it tough, but don't worry we have ALL been there. It will get easier, as you said, that doesn't help you right now.
I'm sorry to hear that your husband is away a lot and that you have no family close by for support. I can completely understand that as I was in the same boat myself. Do you have any friends you can ask for support? Do you go to any play groups or mums' groups? Dealing with screaming children in a group is so much easier than doing it alone.
If your DD doesn't like to be put down, do you have a sling? You can't do anything around the house while holding her, but you can if she is on your back.Could you put her in a backpack style sling? She would be happy being so close to mummy and would probably drop off to sleep. I did this with my DCs when they were tiny and wanted to be held a lot.
It's not surprising that your DS is jealous and throwing tantrums. It's a big change for him too. Can you involve him as much as possible as you care for his sister? He can help you to change her nappy by passing things to you, putting the dirty nappy in the bin, helping apply cream etc etc.
He can help you to bathe her etc.
While you are BFing your DD, DS can sit beside you and you can read books together. This can be great together time with your DS.
It's really hard to be patient with him while you are so tired, but he also needs to know limits and you can't let him run amok. Trying to get the balance can be hard, but you will get there. Give him lots of play time with friends if you can to release energy and to still feel special.
Good luck!

You poor thing - It's so difficult - and doing it all alone must be a bit of a nightmare.

I have 2 dd age 4 and 18 months so am only a little bit further on and life is loads easier now. The only things that got me through are ...

One of these they are amazing - dd2 lived in there and came out or for feeds and nappy changes and I got on with life.

Cbeebies is your friend

Get out of the house loads, chuck the baby in the sling and go for lovely walks. Get out every day, meet up with friends, even make a trip to the supermarket an event. I used to try and be out between the hours of 3-5pm as I used to hate the wind down before tea and bed. Entertaining a tired and bored preschooler at home is my idea of hell.

Let the house go to ruin and have fish and chips for tea.

As for managing any negative behaviour in your oldest. I think the best thing you can do is try and be relaxed and spend as much time as you can keeping them entertained with lots of positive chats and remarks. Pick your battles - don't sweat over the small stuff.