Father's View

[lerose]

Father's View

My son is being bullied at Primary School and my wife is trying to sort it out with the school. I'm not sure that the teacher's will be able to sort it out in the long term (the same kids bullied him last academic year and have started again). Is there any merit in a different less pc approach? Would appreciate feedback on the below blog that I stumbled across:

www.topthatpublishing.com/blog/net-dad-punch-them-in-the-face/

when I was a kid the answer was always to punch the bullies but I'm not at all sure it works. And even if it works for your son, it is quite probable that the bullies will move on to someone else and perhaps less able to defend themselves.

If the school are involved, however, they can (hopefully) put a stop to it altogether.

Keep hassling the school until it is resolved to your satisfaction and don't be fobbed off.

It might have more weight if you and your dw went to school together as well... it shouldn't but I think it often does.

The punch them in the face approach worked for my ds. It didn't actually get that far, after months of telling the teacher etc I suggested he should hit back. The next day he told the other boy if he hit him again he would punch him in the face. He hasn't been hit since but it was pretty much daily before.

I wanted ds to not be bullied because he was no longer seen as a target rather than the bully thinking he was going to get into trouble.

the school should have a bullying policy. If your not getting results from the class teacher,go to the head and then the govners. It's not worth resulting to fisty cuffs as you would be stooping to a lower level. It might be worth talking to the parents though and telling them that the bullying hasn't stopped and can they help stop it. Try and do this in front of the bully.

We have been very fortunate, in that schools have always been very firm in enforcing anti-bullying policy. But then I think the thing with anti-bullying policies is, you have to start training the kids from the day they start Reception; you can't just bury your head in the sand (as some headteachers do) until something happens and then start bleating about anti-bullying.

Hitting back is a dangerous way to go: there is not guarantee that the bully won't hit back even harder or call in his mates (have seen this happen in my own schooldays). Not all bullies crumple at the first punch. I would need to know I was much stronger than my bullies before I engaged on this one.

My nephew started secondary school last year so he's in 2nd year now. He was head boy at his primary school and his 1st yr at high school was exemplary.

A couple of weeks ago, another boy decided to pass a few racist comments to my nephew. It was constant and sustained over a week. The teachers were made aware but said the boy is known for it. But it went to far one day so my nephew pushed the boy. The boys glasses fell off and my nephew stamped on them, breaking them. My nephew got taken away by teachers to the headmaster. It was acknowledged there was provocation but because my nephew retaliated physically, he's been punished. He did go too far with the glass-stamping but the racist boy has been given no punishment whatsoever.
My sis-in-law went to the guidance teacher to discuss this and what was being done about the racism. She was told my nephew is just a big black guy trying to make a name for himself.
She walked out incredulous that a teacher would pass such a comment. She was thinking of finding another school for my nephew.

But it strikes me that some schools seem to punish the softer target rather than getting to the heart of the matter.

I wouldn't condone violence to your DS but if it came down to self-defence and protecting himself when the adults in charge aren't doing it, what else can be done.

Or going over the head of the school and complaining directly to the local authority perhaps even through a solicitor and reminding them papers are always interested in how schools let bullied children down and fail in their duty of care.