Any Grandparents for hire?

[fifitot]

Sorry am being flippant but lordy those of you who have parents and siblings to help you out with childcare and other stuff - thank your lucky stars!

Me and DH are struggling with a 4 year old and a 3 month old. I just find the relentless of it exhausting. I know this is the reality of parenthood but honestly,there is no respite. Our parents live miles away, our friends all have kids of their own to deal with.

I look on enviously at my friends whose mums do school pick ups, babysitting,shopping and even cleaning sometimes for them. They take their oldest kids out so the parents can spend time with the baby and vice versa and occasionally have them overnight! What a thought!

I love my children to bits but oh god, for a night off!

Sorry for the moaning but I haven't had a full night's sleep in 4 years and my 3 month old is a regular night feeder atm.

I don't even get on that well with my mum tbh but I would move her next door if we had any money.

So those of you with helpful grandparents thank your lucky stars - or think of hiring them out to those of us with zilch support!!!

Hear, hear fifitot! Add me to the list for spare grandparents! We only have DD, 15m, but would kill for gps who were a) nearby and b) willing to help occasionally. I'm so envious of friends posting on FB that they're off for a weekend or night away while the gps babysit.

Me too fifitot! You have put in words exactly how I am feeling.

As well as being envious of friends, I have started to feel a bit resentful towards our parents (and I'm not a nasty person and hate feeling like that). It just seems like they have no idea how hard things are for us.

DH's parents actually live just a short distance away - we moved down here to be closer to them(!). The reality is that they lead busy lives and we hardly ever see them.

My mum is 5 hours away. We would probably drive each other mad, but I would love to move her next door if I could!

Being sleep-deprived is the worst thing though - I blame most of my negative feelings on that anyway!

add me too..... my Dad is fab but lives at the other end of the country .. we too made the huge mistake of moving close to the ils because they told us they would be able to help us out with the children ...both have SEN and Im currently pg...
Hmm well, once we'd actually got there that all changed..they are too busy and tired from looking after the other grandchildren to help us ..ho hum ....

I am going to be such a helpful grandma - I'll probably drive my kids mad !!!

We're in that boat too... no help whatsoever and both me and DH are starting to feel resentful, particularly towards my mother who lives close enough to help sometimes but never does.

Quite reassuring to know that others find it such a struggle without the help, I was starting to feel like a spiteful, resentful cow who was looking for someone to blame because she can't cope... maybe it just is a fecking hard as it feels...

Ah you can have my mil for free!!

same here vixen ... I dont and never have expected them to be "childcare" ..mine have had a private nursery place / pt nanny when they were young when I was working ...but the ILS are too busy to be emergency contact for school for example..despite living ten mins from the schools and both driving - and being retired..
by contrast they care for the other Grandkids three days a week .....

Grrrr.....

Duritzfan starts chanting "their loss their loss their loss...."

I had no family near me for 200 miles when DS was younger....we got an au pair!

We did however abuse the babysitting once a year with each set of grandparents for a week at a time to enable us to go on holiday, decorate etc.

Could you suggest a babysitting circle to your friends?

Us too Fifitot - PIL 200 miles away, DM nearly 300 miles away. DS, 2, is in nursery 3 days a week, when I am at work, but it is stuff like popping out in the evening, being able to clean/decorate, nursery pick ups if I am running late (DH works away a lot in the week), going out mountain biking/hill walking in the day which is difficult, and just knowing that there is some back up. I was very ill for a week recently, and managed to get DS into nursery for an extra day, but the other days were hell.

All our local friends are "local" so they have parents and siblings etc to babysit as they need too, so never think to ask and I feel uncomfortable asking them as they have no need for us to reciprocate.

PS no room or funds for an au pair.

Another one here with no family support. Both parents only live an hour away but might as well be the other side of the world.

I have 2 girls, 2.2yrs and 5mths so a helping hand every now and again would be lovely!

When my parents visited the other week and DH was away on business, instead of helping me, I ended up doing bed and bath with both girls on my own. It would seem Eastenders is more important! They however have me niece loads.

Duritzfan- its thier loss!

Can I join in too? We have 4 DC (6, 4, 2 and a 5 mo) no help whatsoever. ILs dead, my dad an hour away we see him about 4 times a year he's a bit useless, haven't seen my mother for almost 2 years ( long story).

Again all our friends have on tap childcare. It's hard sometimes to listen to your friends moaning they have to work and sort out childcare I.e. The free childcare from their parents. Or they moan that they too get no help apart from the odd afternoon/ weekend etc.

I don't want a night out or weekend away, I had DD2 at home as their was no one to look after DD1, I wod like to go for a smear test without dragging DC along., both if us attend parents night etc

Glad it's not just me then!

Maybe we should start a business with actual grandparents for hire! It may make my fortune!

As for being ill. I had flu last year and DH had to work - the horror of childcare when you are ill is beyond belief! I wanted to die!

fifitot I think you've hit on a fantastic business idea! Seriously...

After reading this thread I've spent the day fantasising about having an au pair... but grandparents for hire sounds even better! :)

I see my parents only a handful of times each year and the inlaws once a year due to distance. The inlaws never lift a finger to help and my parents do a bit and expect eternal gratitude. On top of this my hubby commutes 3 hours a day and has been doing over time weekdays and weekends! I feel like a single parent. Think I've reached a low ebb this last week but am so thankful to have supportive friends. I don't know how I'd manage otherwise.

I had no family nearby (all 250 miles away)_ when mine were little. Very touch, esp as DS has/had ADHD and was oppositional too. Plus DH did 14 hour days. Still, I got through it, and felt no guilt at asking my folks to do a week a year babysitting whilst DH and I escaped. And of course, I didn't have anyone telling me what I was doing wrong all the time (which was plenty!!)

I'm one of the lucky ones with parents who are fab and IL's who I don't use (BIL & SIL got there first), but I could call on if needed.

I didn't come here to rub salt in wounds though...

I was thinking that there must be 'grandparents to hire' somewhere - people who's grown up children don't yet have kids, people who's grown up children live far away. Basically, nice (fit, and healthy) old people who yearn for some 'grandkids'.

Perhaps someone clever could come up with a 'grandparents' service and make themselves a nice little business....

I could employ retired people who have no grandchildren of their own.....

IF I had the energy I would develop the idea. But I don't!

I am 64 and my husband is 62. We have grandchildren but I want to retire from my full time job in the public sector. Do you think there would be a call for rent a grandparent. This is something we would be happy to do together.

@jandomain you should absolutely post your offer on your local village/area social media page. I know so many people who would kill for surrogate grandparents for their children!