Hesitant to leave baby for more than a few hours....

[TryLikingClarity]

DS is our first child, he's almost 8 months old. I'm still on maternity leave, due to go back when he is 11 months.

Many of our friends with children of a similar age are happy to leave their LO's with grandparents, friends, babysitters and go out for an evening, all day and sometimes overnight with their spouse or friends.

My relationship with my own grandparents growing up was very hard and has come back to haunt me a bit now that I have DS. I understand this may colour my opinion somewhat.

My mother keeps offering to mind DS so DH and I can go out for a meal, to cinema etc. DH is keen to take her up on these offers frequently, but I struggle to say yes more than once a month for a maximum of 4 hours.

Am I weird for not wanting to leave DS, or is this normal?

Btw, sorry my OP is so long

I don't think you're weird at all. Sounds perfectly normal behaviour for your first child.

I used to hate being apart from my DD when she was little and couldn't concentrate or enjoy myself when we were apart. Fast forward five years and I relish the chance to get some time to myself!

You're not weird at all , perfectly natural to worry about leaving your child with someone else, even if it's someone you really trust. But I would take your mum up on the offers sometimes, you don't need to go away overnight, but everyone needs a bit of a break. I would bite my parents' hands off if they ever offered to babysit!

It's not weird at all, completely natural and if your DS could talk he'd probably say that he prefers not to be left with someone else either! It will become more comfortable - 8mo is still very little! Once a month is plenty, I'd have thought. (Though am also slightly envious - DH and I have been out twice in the evening so far this year!)

Totally normal.

I would get some offers of babysitting in writing for when DS is older and you'll be really looking forward to a break/ weekend away!

Glad I'm not an oddball!

Yeah, I agree with what you're saying. DS is a little angel now he's only 8 months old and not walking yet. I'm sure once he's on his feet and into everything people won't find him so adorable.

It's my bday in a fortnight, so DH and I might go out for dinner that night.

My mum is great, she offers all the time. I just have a mental block stopping me from saying yes.

DS is 9 months old and I've never left him for more than... ooh, 3 hours, I reckon. And I've only done that during the day twice and in the evening three times (and those were within the last month).

So pretty normal, I reckon.

Hope you manage to get a nice meal out for your birthday.

I think I'm just a bit that some people are comfy enough to leave their LO overnight frequently and from a young age.

I'm not judging them as parents, but I just don't know how they can manage it.

I think it's a mix of and

Totally normal.

I didn't leave DD overnight until shortly before DS was born - more to get her used to it than anything else - so she was about 18mths, I think.

Did it more often with the two of them, and now send them off to my parents for a week in the holidays, at 8yo and 6yo.

Understandable feeling, but as others have said...you could be kicking yourself in a while if the offers dry up and you would love a break.

Surely if you are going out in the evening then he is asleep and not missing out on any quality time anyway - so less to worry about?

Also, I can understand wanting to maximise your time with him if you are on mat leave, but also within the next few months he will have to gradually be used to having others care for him or it will be an almighty shock when you need to leave him to return to work.

I did leave dd from 3 months old occasionally with my mum or DH. I have to admit I couldn't understand people who didn't/wouldn't leave their baby with someone they trusted. My nurse is a nurse who lovingly brought me up - frankly, if there was some sort of emergency then she was/is better equipped to care for DD than I was. Don't get me wrong, I missed DD, but equally, I had 'keep in touch' days with work built in to my maternity leave. I had the gym to go to, I had a little bit of time to spend with DH sometimes...so I guess I was the opposite to you TRylikingclarity - and I was mystified about why people didn't want occasional breaks! BUT - everyone is different. I was lucky in that I could express successfully and dd was happy on bottle or breast so that helped. She stayed a full day with my mum at 10 weeks when I went to work fro the day, but not overnight until she was 8 months.

I don't like to leave my kids with a babysitter. It's how you parent so don't feel pressure from anyone else.

My mum is a nurse.

Notyummy my mum is a nurse too! My DH is a doctor so if something happened and I wasn't there then I'm confident they would know what to do! I wouldn't have a clue!

DS is almost 8 months old so I'm starting to wean him off the breast and onto bottles, so he would be more than happy to be left with someone else to mind him.

When I go back to work (3 days a week) in Jan my DH and mum will take it in turns to mind DS. These are the only people I'd feel comfortable leaving DS with.

I think I'm a bit about people seeing that I want or would like some help in order to go out alone with DH or with friends. Maybe I'm too proud. DH said I'm being proud but it isn't doing me any favours.

Also, my grandparents never minded me and my siblings as kids, didn't give a fig for us. I just find the idea of a loving grandparent to be an oddity, although my mum dotes on DS and loves him so much. I find it hard to shake off the ghosts from my childhood, although I know that's not something that'd ever be repeated in DS's life.

Wow, this is turning into an epic!

You don't have to leave them overnight, it's not a test of enduring time without your baby if you are unhappy with the idea! I didn't leave DS overnight until he was nearly 3 (and that was with DH), partly because nobody offered, but partly because I didn't feel ready.

Going out in the evening I did from about 3 months - leaving with DH. Leaving with other babysitters was a bit later. Maybe a little earlier with our second (and we frequently came home to find the babysitter pacing the living room as she was a shocking sleeper .

DH has booked us tickets to see a gig of our fave singer. It's in Jan (when DS will be 11 months old), but it's a 3 hour drive away, so we'll have to leave DS with my mum or in-laws.

DH thinks it'll be a great overnight stay, but inside I'm thinking NOOOO!! I do want to see the singer and I am already so excited about having a night when I am not woken several times by DS.

I'm just a bit wobbly about the whole idea.