2 week old - stressed and scared of my new life

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I have a gorgeous 2 week old son.

However, I feel as if the last 2 weeks have passed by in a blur and things seem so much harder than I though they would be and I feel a little detached from the whole thing and still reminding myself I'm a parent.

He was two weeks early - not alot I know, but that, combined with a traumatic birth, has left me in shock a bit.

This is probably all lack of sleep related too but I am worried I do not feel as full of joy and excitement as I thought I would and feel selfish and guilty that I don't feel like 'I'm lovin it'.

Instead I feel clingy to my husband and in need of lots of hugs from him and scared about how we will manage our future routing and miss our old life.

I get a little anxious in the evening at the thought of the restless night ahead and am finding I am asking everyone how long it might be before he sleeps for longer and almost wishing this time away - which my rational head says is wrong and stupid.

Although I'm normally a worrier I am shocked that I feel the way I do and that I don't feel more in control. I am usually a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak and feel I have everything in order.

I feel like a one man feeding and changing machine (I'm BF but my husband is helping and supporting as much as he can). So, after all this I am finding I have little energy to 'play' with my son in the few times he wakes during the day. Also, finding it is pretty hard to 'play' with a 2 week old. Am I doing anything wrong? Could I be doing more?

I'm sure this phase will pass but I wondered whether anyone else has felt the same and has any advice?

Husband going back to work Tues which I'm half worried about and half feeling it may help to kick start a bit of normality again.

Any advice please?

This is totaly normal, my DD is 5 months and we spent the first 2 weeks in bed, all visitors came up to my room to meet her and i just ate and slept for those 2 weeks.
Dh dealt with DD1 and waited on me hand and foot bless him.

Dont be to hard on yourself things will get better just rest, rest rest at the moment thats the best thing you can do.

Don't overdo it, OP. Lower your goals, really, please. Otherwise you'll just set yourself up for a fall, which is totally unnecessary as you really don't need to be making plans or achieving stuff at this stage. None of this attending groups etc -- too soon.

Try to get into a mindset where you feel happy with just being pretty much on the sofa or in bed all day long, alternating feeds and cuddles and sleeps. I know everyone says to ignore housework and I know this is not always possible, but try to keep it to the minimum you can live with, ie throwing some laundry on once a day and making sure the kitchen isn't actually depressing. (But really, get your DP to do this stuff if you can.)

You said you'll maybe give groups a miss - if there is a bf'ing group, i'd prioritise that. I didn't go to the local one till 6 weeks, wish i'd gone earlier! Good for realistic bfing support.

It's normal to feel like this.
I felt the same as you 9 and a half years ago!

It's a big culture shock and nothing but actually doing it can prepare you for it!
It all gets better and you'll be fine! :)

Get youself to a Bfing group if you can. Maybe try and meet other new mums though the health visitor sessions. I made some of my closest friends as a new mum.

I don't think anything can prepare you or being a parent. It's a very steep learning curve but it does get easier. The lack of sleep is a killer though I agree but the world will seem a brighter place once babe sleep smore.

I felt just like you for the first few weeks, deep down I was doubting myself...was there something wrong with me that I wasn't blissfully happy etc.

But then when DD hit around 5wks (10 wks now)it changed, I remember looking at her on the verge of smiling and just thinking that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I think that was around the time I started getting more confident with her, she was putting on weight and getting sturdier, DH was back at work, I was getting out of the house etc. I started realising that I could do it and was doing an ok job.

I still sometimes struggle a little to get through the day, when everything takes a looong time, or something needs doing but she wants feeding again or I don't have the energy, but hey ho. I just remond myself that she is the most important thing, if she is hungry she needs feeding and the hoovering can wait!

agree that its totally normal but it doesn't really pass, what happens is you adapt, you just end up having no choice but to go with the flow, then its great. for me that point was at 16 months, after 13 months of pnd and being completely at the end of my tether, then i just changed. he's nearly three now, has only twice slept through the night and i spend half of every night in bed with him.

its all exhausting and you need to give youself a break and just lie on the couch watching telly and bfing and asking your dh for food and cups of tea.

congratulations by the way. no one knows how hard it is till you have one