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Original poster

5 year old has 'boyfriend' How to Handle?

12 replies

Discomonkfish · 14/10/2010 12:02

My dd nearly 6, has started saying that a boy in her class is her boyfriend. We went to a harvest festival yesterday and they held hands all the way there (according to one parent) and all the way back when I was with them. Little boy tried to kiss her on the way back, told them to stop. He kept trying to put his arm round her neck but she kept shrugging him off. I had a chat with her this morning and told her that having boys as friends is fine but that boyfriends are when you kiss and cuddle and that she's too little for that. She seemed happy with this and when I said what about 'boysname' she said I'll just run away when he comes over. Am I overreacting? is this normal behaviour at their age? No doubt its all innocent and think I can remember kiss chase with boys I'm sure at that age. Any advice?

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cory · 14/10/2010 12:05

Yes you are overreacting. What they mean by boyfriend is not what you mean by boyfriend, but now you have put it into her mind to think in terms of something more grown up and scary. The rule should be "you mustn't kiss and cuddle if X doesn't want it". Not "because mummy says all kissing and cuddling is for grownups".

seeker · 14/10/2010 12:10

they all do this. My dd had serial boyfriends in reception - sometimes the boys were aware of their status - sometimes they weren't!

In Year 1 she told me "I'm not going to bother with boyfriends any more, they only dump you"

And she stuck to this rule, until this year. She's now 14 - and has discovered that her 6 year old self was wise beyond her years Sad

PoorlyConstructed · 14/10/2010 12:12

I find that mildly teasing DC is the best course of action in these situations.

It's perfectly normal, I really wouldn't worry about 'boyfriends'.

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VivaLeBeaver · 14/10/2010 12:12

Its normal. DD had two boyfriends at this age and I remember one ski holiday had the chalet girls open mouthed at her tales of how she meets one of them on the street corner but she was thinking of dumping him as he hadn't got her a Xmas present when the other one had bought her a nice necklace!

Morloth · 14/10/2010 12:13

God DS1 has been 'marrying' various girls in his class since he started reception at 4.

You are overreacting.

MrsSnaplegs · 14/10/2010 12:16

Only a boyfriend - my DD came home from nursery last year and announced she was married! I have to admit he is a lovely boy from a very good family so we thought she had made an excellent choice. Apparently he is married to another girl in her class as well!

My only concern was when she asked for a new bed - she said she wanted "one of those hanging ones so X and I can be married properly" Shock I think she meant a hammock! I dread to think what she wanted to do in it!

At this age it is nearly all innocent and as long as they are not feeling pressured into it by classmates then I wouldn't be concerned!

witlesssarah · 14/10/2010 12:16

DS had a girlfriend in pre-school. We first heard about it when it was over (or on a break) really they couldn't decide if it was on or off and then she moved away. We saw no kissing or cuddling, but both of them spoke of the other with real joy, and he was truly sad when she left, and still misses her. (mentions her without any prompting, other girls remind him of her) I felt sad for them both to be honest because they felt something they didn't know what to do with.

I think the key is to keep her talking to you about what she's feeling and make sure that she feels she has control over what is happening, because thats the stuff that matters in the long term

CMOTdibbler · 14/10/2010 12:17

I think you are overreacting - my ds is 4, and he and his best friend hold hands everywhere, cuddle, kiss, and express their love for each other. And it's all totally innocent and beautiful to see

Original poster
Discomonkfish · 14/10/2010 12:22

Thought as much thanks all :), Cory think you're being a bit harsh to be fair...it was a lighthearted chat not a brimstone and treacle strike you down child..LOL thanks again

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piscesmoon · 14/10/2010 23:34

I think it was sweet. DS had a girlfriend when he started school and they were going to be married and wanted our cat to live with them! Make the most of it-they will soon separate into girls and boys until teens-or mine did anyway.

TheNextMrsDepp · 14/10/2010 23:38

Don't worry, she'll have dumped him by the weekend and have a new boyfriend lined up. Very fickle, these 5-year-olds.

octopusinabox · 15/10/2010 18:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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