Is it rude to take uninvited sibling to a party?

[AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong]

AAAGGGHHH - parenting is such a minefield of what you should/shouldn't do - I am so rubbish at knowing what is acceptable and what is frowned upon!

I am not having a panic because I have said yes to an invite for a party my 4 year old is attending - but I didn't check if it was OK to bring along my 10 mth old (hubby at work)!

I was just going to pay for baby at the door and hang about in the little toddler bit of the soft play area with her.

I am just so blooming naive about all this! What else will I do next! People seem to know, I never know and I HATE being rude!

I will have to call back the parent to check my plan is OK.

next year im giving them a list of names...they can tick them off!!

Well, wasn't worth falling out over - not the same as if I had paid a per head fee for each of their children. I can't tell you the most things someone did for fear of identification but by the time the party bags given out was ready for anything! And these all perfectly respectable people!

I'd check first too, i'd be happy to accomodate a baby but a toddler or over univited I would think was very cheeky.

At DD's recent 4th bday party a few of the parents brought their older children (about 6 or 7yos), paid for them to go in, provided own food, and the children just disapeared into the 'bowels' of soft play for the whole time. No problem.

A few other parents brought younger siblings. No problem with this as I have been in similar situations when DH has been working. We smuggled them a sausage roll or two!, and included the older toddlers in the party games as we had a few spare gifts. No problem.

However, if the party had been in my (small) house, I would not have been happy about ANYONE bringing a sibling (bar a newborn perhaps).

If you're worried, ask. But I would think it very strange for someone to mind. I found it more stressful trying to stop random strangers children joining the party tbh!

If it's a house party, I don't mind! I often find it difficult to know what to do with my six year old when my nearly five year old gets invited places, she's kind of old enough to be dropped on her own if she knows someone or it's a contained space, but recently I left her (with some misgivings) at a community hall as my eldest couldn't really stay and I didn't know what to do. I don't think I did the right thing, she could have wandered off easily.

So, if the party is at my house, the more the merrier, esp. if people have travelled a bit to visit us, if it's at a play place, people are welcome to let the other one join in as long as they pay and I would try to find them a little something. But then I tend to have quite small parties and now they are a bit older, it's easier to leave one or the other.