nursery worker told me to stop speaking English!

[alexpolismum]

Has anyone else come across this sort of attitude?

We are a bilingual family, English/Greek. I speak only in English to the children and dh speaks only in Greek.

Ds1 has recently started at nursery (he is 3.5). His English is much better than his Greek, simply because up till now he spent most of his time with me. However, he does not have any comprehension problems in Greek and he speaks reasonably for his age, it's just that his English is more developed and he uses more vocab.

Today his teacher (or whatever they are called at this stage!) spoke to me and said that he doesn't speak much in Greek and I should stop speaking to him in English at home and start using Greek. I told her that he was only 3 and a half and would soon catch up with all the other children now that he was in the 'school' system. She insisted. No more English, she said.

I am really surprised at her attitude. I've always thought that bilingualism was something to be encouraged, not nipped in the bud!

I'd ignore her to be honest, you're his mother, not her, and you can speak to him in whatever language you so choose.

What she's saying is total rubbish - one parent one language is a recognised strategy for bilingualism and it generally works. I take it you're in Greece (hence the Greek nursery worker), so as he grows older he'll have more Greek input than English - he'll have the Greek environment (other kids etc) plus one Greek parent, as opposed to just you speaking English to him within the home. So it's all the more important that you establish the English early on.

Could you not put him in a bilingual nursery/school where both languages are respected, or at least where there's more understanding of the needs of bilingual children?

I can recommend The Bilingual Family, can't remember the authors though. Edith Harding?

Ignore her

My MIL was advised similar when DH was a child and regrets it

OPOL is now well recognised, keep up the good work

Yes this is fairly common, totally misinformed and irritating. AS long as your son knows basic greek words (can ask for the toilet, say if he is hurt etc) then it is fine to stik to OPOL.

The was another poster on here who was asked not to speak in her home language to her child in a children's centre (at a m and t type group) but to use english to prepare the child or schoool!

Keep speaking in English. My mother stopped speaking to me in French when I was little, as a result I am no longer fluent/bilingual.

Ooh, I'm glad everyone agrees with me! I am sure he will pick up more Greek now and it will overtake his English.

He does know basic Greek, he doesn't have any major problems communicating.

MotherMountainGhost - there are no bilingual nurseries where I live. I will search for the book on Amazon, though, thanks for that.

Do you think I should encourage my children (I have 3, ds1 is the eldest, the youngest is only 8 months) to speak to each other in English at home? At the moment the elder 2 speak either language to each other, although generally use English if dh isn't here.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Personally, I would not try to dictate what language your children speak to each other: that is their relationship, which they should negotiate for themselves.

cheeky mare!
Stick with your plan.
But encourage your DC to speak to each other in whatever language they prefer.

How is your Greek, btw?

Alexispolis : definitely what Cory said. Just ignore. A nursery worker is not likely to be a specialist in speech development. You decide what you speak to your dcs not her, and probably have a much better idea about raising bilingual children, so dont listen to her incorrect and misleading advice. It would be a great shame for you to start speaking Greek and I feel that this could undo all your good work up until now. If your ds is growing up in a Greek enviroment he needs an English "pole" and this is going to be you or you and your dh.

My son is nearly 3.5 and started nursery here in Germany at the beginning of September. I have always spoken only English to him, and his English is much better than his German, when I mentioned this to his nursery teacher she told me that this was nothing to worry about and would balance itself out after a while. They have been very supportive of him being bilingual, and I am just sorry that you have not experienced this support. So just smile, nod and ignore!!

ignore! I was the opposite as a child - born in UK to Greek parents. I knew far more Greek than English when I started nursery but had no problems whatsoever with English and caught up very quickly

ALWAYS ask cretins like this what research their view is based on. Ask for specific names, telling them you want to read the book yourself.

My bet is you will be met with a blank stare.

So then you can tell her that YOU, on the other hand, DO have research to back up your position.

Then just ignore her after that.

Definitely ignore. We are bilingual English /Italian. DS been behind in both. Started nursery at 3 and was clearly well behind other kids in Italian. Hasn't made any difference. He was shyer for the first few months the teacher said because the communication problem meant he couldnt participate as much as other kids but it didnt seem to cause him major issues. He is a year in now, Italian much improved although still way behind other kids and he has a good group of friends. This is all despite ominous warnings from FIL about the evils of me speaking English and how he would have no friends blah blah. Just carry on as you are.

Just ignore the very ignorant nursery worker.

Oh and totally agree with MITFLAW saying to ask about research/books etc to back up their claims. FIL always ends up looking an idiot when he starts pontificating on our terrible choice when I can produce lots of back up to my point of view and he can only answer with "just because!"

Ignore.

My dd started kindergarten in germany aged 3yo, spoke mainly english but understood and could speak some German.

By the end of the year she was speaking more German than English.

She and DS are now 8yo and 6yo respectively. They speak English and German fluently and very good French (not quite native language level but not far off)

They generally speak English together but I don't interfere if they speak French or German. Depends on what they are taking about. School is sometimes discussed in French.

Agree with everyone else.

Also agree with Cory and let the children speak whichever language they feel like at home. (I notice dd speaks with her Playmobil people sometimes in English, sometimes in Italian!)

Wish my dcs could have the advantages that yours will all have from the get go! They are very lucky, hopefully those who dislike your methods ( which I agree with BTW) will realise that someday.

My DS's second language (his "father tongue") is always going to be behind his English, and the only thing we can do for that is let him spend as much time as possible with my ILs, and possibly go over there (with him) for school for a year when he is older. Not create some artificial situation for him to "practice" his other language! That is just silly and, as I said, artificial. If a child perceives something's artificial, s/he might decide to circumvent it completely when s/he is feeling lazy, knowing that mummy/daddy will understand, rather than its being natural to try to use both languages, with the appropriate parent.

However, I just want to comment that nursery workers are not necessarily ignorant! The room leader in my DS's nursery's room a year ago was the language co-ordinator for the nursery: that's right, a language co-ordinator! They do take these things seriously, especially in multi-ethnic/ multi-lingual neighbourhoods like ours.

Well, the consensus is to ignore then!

Good idea to ask people what research they have - I will remember that for future situations!

3thumbedwitch - I am fluent in Greek - I actually worked as a professional translator prior to having children.

BananaGio - MIL says the same thing about the children not having friends!

Brilliant suggestion from MIFLAW there: I can see how that could be useful in all sorts of parenting areas...

totally ignore her!

dd and ds are both born in the UK (now living in Australia), I speak German with them and dh English (he's a Kiwi). DD was a late talker (nearly 4) and her first Kindergarten/pre-school did raise some concerns, but I ignored them. And now aged 8... she never shuts up in English! Her German's not that great as I'm the only influence but she does understand most things, if she chooses to ;)

DD and ds speak English with each other and that's fine by me, though sometimes I 'catch' them practising some German word LOL

Totally ignore her! He will catch up with the Greek. I once taught a Danish girl who came into school aged 7 without a word of English-by the end of the year she was not only fluent, but top of the class in all tests! You are giving your DC an enormous advantage so don't let anyone stop you.