How do I get them in bed by 7.30?

[Fluffymonster]

Hi

We find it next to impossible to get our 18mth and 3.5yr old, in bed at a reasonable hour! They currently go to bed ('lights out') at 8.30pm, after a bath and stories etc.

The evening goes roughtly like this:
6pm - home from nursery, play in lounge together.
6.45pm - dinner is ready. They eat it at a snail's pace.
7.30pm-7.45pm - Upstairs for teeth brushing, bath
8.15-8.30pm - Stories

Neither of them gets enough sleep, but the oldest needs it more, as she has bags under her eyes. I'd like to move bedtime to 7.30pm - but it seems like an impossible dream! Any ideas?

Watching with great interest here. Same scenario. Ds aged 4 has just started school and is SO tired he is at meltdown screaming stage by bedtime. Dd aged 2 is resisting bed and takes an hour or more to go to sleep at the moment, so with an 8pm 'official' bedtime my evenings are shot and I am knackered, never mind the kids.

I want to know what people cook who don't cook IYSWIM - all these people who have abandoned home cooking for high speed meals - I need some of those ideas!!

..baths before dinner sorry

Aren't nursery giving yours a meal in the afternoon? They should be!

My two used to have "tea" at 3.30 at Nursery, we got home at 6-ish and they maybe had a snack to top up tummy before bed - banana, toast or whatever. Not a full meal. Bath (not every night) and bed /stories were do-able between 7 and 7.30.

To really speed up on time I give DD her snack whilst on the way home in her buggy (to top up the dinner she's already had at the CMs).

systemsaddict;

-fresh pasta and what my DC call "pizza sauce" (tinned tomatoes or passata with grated cheese and some herbs stirred into it)
-boiled eggs and soldiers
-beans on toast

• tortillas with fillings (sour cream, refried beans, chicken, grated cheese, guacamole etc..)
• grilled salmon and noodles

-Re-heated baked potatoes, with tuna

All of these served with a "starter" - so that the DC are sitting at the table and ready to eat, I give them crudites and houmous or similar, to nibble on while I prepare one of the above. Also saves cooking veg alongside the quick meal; getting out another pan and waiting for the kettle to boil slows it all down.

When I make a proper meal, I make enough for 2 days. So Mondays and Wednesdays we have highspeed food as above (as older DC have clubs after school and we don't get home til 5.30). On tuesday afternoon and thursday afternoon (early afternoon, before picking DC up from school) I cook proper meals (lasagna, fish pie etc..). The spare on Tuesday goes in the freezer for the weekend, the spare on Thursdays gets eaten on Friday evenings.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. On nursery days they have tea at nursery that finishes around 4.30. They have a snack (eg banana, few grapes, few raisins, handful of dried cereal, few nuts, rich tea finger - that sort of thing) and a drink when they get home at 6ish. They play for a bit or sometimes watch low-key telly (Night Garden, Wiggles) for 15 mins, and we tidy up the lounge. They go upstairs at around 6.30-6.40pm. We bath every third day (son has eczema so try not to bath too frequently) and sponge wash on other nights. Brush teeth, into pjs, two stories each, into bed and zonked out by 7.01... 7.15 at absolute latest. We are fast because we do one child each per night. They are exhausted by this point anyway, if we draw the routine out for any reason they get more and more grumpy. 2 year old still naps for an hour at nursery, 4 year old doesn't. We've had this routine for ages now and it works brilliantly. Don't ask me what will happen when DC3 arrives in 3 weeks time, however - all bets are off!

ooh, crudites as a starter is a brilliant idea Checkmate!

We always do baths before evening meal too and only every other night.

When we want DCs to get in the bath quickly, one of us runs a bath as soon as we walk through the door, turns on radio or gets book or magazine and pretends to want peace and quiet. This is guaranteed to get DCs to want to go in the bath so they hop in and after a few minutes the adult hops out. It is great for cutting out delaying tactics.

Lol because . ds is 2 and I find that the way he plays outside everyday and even just everyday germs and interacting with children - and being in nappies. He needs a daily bath. I need a daily shower. His skin is so soft - no eczema... Why do people always say not to bathe daily?

Bathing daily is fine but if you are rushed like this it seems unnecessary. I bath my kids once a week on Sundays and they are clean and don't smell (a wipe over with a flannel every night suffices if they have been playing in the garden).

The nursery must give them tea? I doubt they need a full meal when they get home as presumably they have one at lunchtime?

The one day I work late and get home at 6 I can easily get my kids to bed by 7.30. Get home and wind down in front of TV or playing. Eat a sandwich. Pajamas at 7.00 then teeth, wash and story. Sleep at 7.30 :)

We didn't have family meals in the evening at this age - too fraught as they were too tired.

I used to give them a cooked lunch, an early tea (4.30- 5ish) then milk/cereal/fruit at bed time.

I would espect nursery to be giving 2 good meals if they are there all day.

I agree that bathing every day is not necessary. Top and tail is fine.

Lose the bath - kids don't need bathed daily.
Prepare tea in advance or have freezer full of ready prepared dinners?
Tea first then play? (Might help them eat faster)?

Agree with previous posters. My dd is 4.5. She comes home from school at 16.00h, she'll change in pyjamas. I put everything on the table for dinner. The two of us have dinner at 17.00h (dh comes home much later). She usually watches a bit of TV whilst having dinner. Around 18.00h go upstairs, brush teeth, wash face, go to toilet etc (we do showers/baths in the weekend). She'll be in bed around 18.20h. She then reads her school books and I read one or two stories and we chat a bit. 19.00h I go downstairs and she is asleep.

It is not always easy to stick to it, but she really needs her sleep. I appreciate that it is very difficult if you only get home at 18.00h, if you cannot get home earlier then (1) can your daughter have hot meal at pre-school; or (2) can your organise somebody else to pick up dd earlier from pre-school and give her cooked dinner (child minder/student looking for few hours work in early evening/???). I think that it is really important to find a solution especially for when your dd goes to reception. Good luck.

Hmm...

Well as a general update, we've had a distinctly mediocre week. For 3 out of the past 5 nights, there's been screaming tantrums before bed, simply because the oldest one just doesn't want to go.

On two of the nights she dragged everything out for so long, and then had a hissy fit of such magnitude (over bedtime stories being cut short), that it was past 9pm by the time things were settled! Also she's got a chesty cough at the moment, so more grouchy than usual. Perhaps not the best time to be changing their routines, but am just desperate to bring her bedtime forward, somehow.

We're switching the bathtime to before supper, as many have suggested. In principle this should save us at least 30-45mins as one person bathes and the other can sort supper.

However, right now I'm finding the biggest obstacle is my OH, who seems to be hell bent on using every spare moment to stare into space, looking gormless. For instance tonight we came home, and I had to tell him every step i.e. go run the bath, get the kids in the bath, bring them down in their pj's...

He disappeared for ages upstairs while the bath was running, and left me downstairs preparing the meal, with both children hanging around, climbing on me for cuddles, wanting attention. I wasn't really able to cook in peace, whick meant it took an extra long time.

When he finally emerged, I asked him what had he been doing? "Waiting for the bath to fill up." Yes, he'd sat there watching the bath water, run, while I was looking after both the kids and trying to cook, downstairs. So it's like that at the moment. Knock. On. Wood.

(Sorry - am feeling very frustrated at having to chivvy THREE people along. It's like rolling a sack of potatoes up a hill, I tell ya!)

How about giving them a snack box for the journey home from nursery - cut up veggies / pieces of cheese etc. then top them up with more food (e.g. pasta with olive oil and grated cheese stirred through or cheesy baked beans or cold chicken and pityta bread and cut up veggies - that would be on the table just before 6:15pm. Basically get their hunger peak on the way home to eat some bits before they kind tired.

6:400pm - PJs and teeth followed stories and bed.

If they need a bath - clean the teeth in the bath and quick wash and out/.

Weekends = family meals and long bubbly baths.

Done!

of if they've had tea at nursery, how about a bowl of porridge with fruit when you get in the door?

Sit and chat to them while they eat so you still get quality time with them.

oh and in this house - if someone is asked to do or not do something / tantrums - they are given one warning and told they will lose their story and we always follow through. Don't stand for messing about. Enforce their co-operation.

DH never got home before bed time when mine were little, so they both went to bed at the same time - ds2 got his story first, then Ds1 got a longer one.

If your OH is actually in the building, then he should take responsibility for one child - totally. Why can't he sit and play a board game, do a puzzle, or read a story to the eldest while you put little one to bed???

Then, you sit down together when they are settled.

Sorry - but he sounds hopeless.

Fluffy, I'm still confused/unclear: does nursery provide two meals a day or not? If so then can't you provide snacks to them as they journey home and then you only need to sort baths out when you come home? Also, why baths every night?

Dd used to have dinner at nursery and now has dinner at her childminders. She often then has a snack at home - sandwich/crackers/scone. But she doesn't get home from CM until about 6.20 so we have a similar problem.

Our routine is then that dh takes her upstairs at 7 to get ready for bed with some play upstairs, then at 7.30 I do stories and chat to 8. She has a bath on nights she doesn't go to CM, but if we had to fit that in, we would aim for her to be in the bath no later than 7, preferably 6.50.

I do worry about dd's sleep as she takes ages to get to sleep - that's a whole other story. I agree with pp that you can't fit in a proper dinner and shouldn't need to. You might not manage 7.30, but you should definitley be able to get back to 8.

If you pick up in the car I would give a snack tea in the car.