Help - dd 3.5 turned into a monster!

[moomummy]

My dd has recently started having tantrums and refusing to get dressed in the morning or do anything she is asked. She is having crying fits regularly which has never really happened before. Is there a 'terrible 3s'? What is the best way to disciplin? Where has my lovely baby gone

hi moonmummy cant help in any way but can only assume your dd is with my dd (3.5)somewhere.mine does all the above and has just started a new trick if she decides she doent want to do something/go somewhere she'll just sit down and refuse to move .shes quite big for her age and im 5 months pregnant .can handle it most of the time but the other day in iceland was another matter!!!!

Mine is exactly the same (3y 10m). Getting dressed, cleaning teeth, washing face, eating meals - everything now takes forever and each one is preceded by a tantrum. I have tried everything - the naughty step (as if she's going to stay there!), go to your room (not a chance unless she's bodily carried there and she's too big for me to do that), stay in your room (not unless I get a lock!) - so if you ever find the answer do let me know. I am currently trying walking away from any tantrum, but as she is clinging to my leg and screaming it is a little difficult. Haven't seen any 18 year olds doing this so I am hoping its yet another phase!

karenanne, walk off, thats what I do and it always brings them running.

Remember that it is very hot and they get tired in this weather. DD1 (3.7)is upstairs now having a rest in her bed listening to a tape, I know when I go back up there she will have fallen asleep. She's done this for the last few days, and although it means she goes to bed a bit later in the evening she's much easier to handle in the afternoons.

I posted here yesterday but obviously managed to delete it!
Moomummy you are not alone! I have absolutely no helpful advice, other than it does seem to ease off eventually. DD1 is 3y 2 mo and has taken up screeching, pushing, yelling get out of here etc. It has been going on for about two months but is beginning to wane slightly, though it still comes from nowhere. For example, Monday she decided that she wanted to use the travel potty in the fromt garden, as I was halfway through the door going into the house with the pushcahir I said no use your potty in the bathroom she went into meltdown for about 15 minutes. I think its a combination of age, changing rooms at the nursery and DD2 making her presence felt a bit more. I am tring to make a fuss of her when she is being civilised but its exhausting. The balance between being firm, picking your battles and keeping the family show on the road is horrendous. She often ends up going to nursery with unbrushed hair or teeth as we are still reeling from getting her dressed, cant face another fight and my boss likes to see me before lunchtime! One famous morning it took ove 40 minutes to get her out of her bedroom, dressed and into the car. The rest of the time she is a delight very smart, very goodnatured. Bizarre! Like janinlondon the naughty step, going to room does not seem to work. I just wait her out as much as I can.

Snap!!! I have a "terrible three" DD will be 4 in October - number 2 is due on Saturday and Im not looking forward to the effect this has on her!! Anyone with any tips?

DD is either lovely and great fun or realllly hard work and wearing.

Ive noticed she is much easier to deal with at home - whenever we go anywhere she has a settling in period where she is a total nightmare but after a little while she settles.

Im still experimenting with how best to discipline - its all too easy to shout and lose my temper but I know this isnt too effective! sigh

Becca
xxx

there is an article in this months Junior magazine all about the 'threenager'. It's all about how every talks about the 'terrible twos' but three year olds can be much more difficult to deal with.

We've been going through this too - had got to the point where I was really depressed by the constant tantrums and was finding it very hard to interact with ds as he was being such a little xxx. Had tried pretty much everything, except sticker charts - so we made one together and I explained the principle: "be a good boy and you'll get a sticker at bedtime. Be good for a whole week (one row of the chart) and you'll get a big sticker at the end of the week. Be good for the whole chart and you'll get a suprise." Have to say I am astounded at how well rewarding good behaviour - rather than reprimanding bad behaviour - is working. In three weeks we've had two days where he hasn't got a sticker - and he hasn't had a single tantrum. If someone had told me it would have this effect I would never have believed them in a million years. The upshot is that he is much nicer to be with, I am much nicer to be with and we are enjoying each other's company again. Sorry to sound like a born again hippy, but it might be worth a try!

Surprise even.