What lengths have you gone to over t'rivial' things to spare your child's tears ?

[Magscat]

We just had a total crisis moment when we realised we left ds's favourite teddy bear in the cafe at Sainsbury's today.

Fortunately we have an 'understudy' bear - an identical one we've kept hidden from him for the last 4 years to use in just such a crisis! We've even swapped them over from time to time so they both get worn out at the same rate.

I was beginning to think I was bonkers for buying 2 bears 4 years ago but I am so glad I did now - you should have seen the panic beginning to grip him when he realised what had happened - I just pretended I'd taken him upstairs earlier and went and fished him out of the airing cupboard!

Anyone else do things that seem daft like this ?

I just read that back and realised it sounds a bit smug - it's not meant to be. I'm just so relieved I had to share it.

No not that I can think of.

My kids have never had "special toys" that they can't do without, I wonder why that is? As a child I cannot remember ever having a special toy either!!!

I wonder if its hereditary.

Sorry Magscat didn't mean to ignore your question but it just got me thinking about something else

I always buy two of each bed teddy because ds has a dust mite allergy and one of them has to be in the wash or the freezer at any one time. So I understand understudy bears.

Reading the Strawberry thread a year ago - it doesn't seem that mad.

Ahhhh magscat. What a lovely thing to do. I'd never think to do that. A very good mummy moment.

Kama - I think you're right - I would have been in tears too.

I think I was determined to have a back up plan because I can remember losing my favourite bear aged about 6 or 7. Must have stuck in my mind more than I thought.

There are a couple of small differences between ds's two bears and I'm wondering if he'll notice tonight - dp is putting him to bed so he'll have to answer the questions

DS2 has a thing about a holiday camp rabbit character called Sparky. He also has a hard time as his AS brother bashes him a lot, and he has speech problems himslef. He was being very good one night and asked me to write and tell Sparky. I agreed, and actually did it, and managed to arrange a personal visit from Sparky on our next holiday! That more than made his hols!

Crazydazy - interesting that your kids haven't got special toys - what ages are they? They must have some favourites surely?

When I say 'ds' favourite bear', it is generally his favourite but he's fickle - some days it's Po or another toy that gets taken out instead of Squidgy Bear but Squidgy rarely stays in his room.

Magscat, I never had any fave toys either. I guess I had my books but that's not the same- they never left the house or anything, and there wasn't one favourite. DS1 has no faves either, DS2 has his Sparky toy, DS3 has a handful of special friends

I wonder if I've encouraged it somehow or if there is some kind of hereditary thing about having or not having a special toy (like Crazydazy suggested).

Sometimes I think it's a good thing because he has such a reliable comforter but then it's a complete recipe for disaster if he ever loses this one (assuming Sainsbury's haven't had Squidgy 1 handed in when I ring tomorrow)!

Message withdrawn

Aah - that's a good idea Ooops - to have something he knows there's 3 of. DS has a bit of fleece as well but he's not so attached to it as he is to Squidgy Bear.

Hi both of my kids have baby dolls that they have had since birth (obviously very small) and they have both lost them. When DD1 lost hers we had to phone the person who bought it and find out where it came from then we had to drive miles to replace it. Within 2 days the first one turned up. When DD2 lost hers I couldn't sleep for 2 days wondering where it was, I was genuinley upset about it. They had stopped making her doll just after she got it but fortunately I was able to get the very last one made to replace the lost one. I think they become an important part of the family these wee dollies.

Hi

Have just reread my e-mail and just to clarify, I mean the dolls are very small, not my children. Ooops!!

I never really had a special toy but my brother did. It was a manky old rabbit called 'Rat'. I remember when my brother was all grown up (about 25) my mum's dog got hold of Rat, dismembered him and buried the body parts in the garden. My brother was furious and actually dug the bits up and sewed it back together. Aaaahhh!

My dd lost a special doll of hers about four years ago and the memory of the doll still brings a tear to her eye.
I must admit though, I do think it serves as a good early lesson in greif and processing tricky emotions. We can try to protect them too much.

I think buying a house near dx is a pretty big sacrifice [gritted teeth emoticon]

Hi, I'm back...sorry about deserting earlier.

I think my kids just get bored of things very easily.....they are both alike in that way!! DS just likes to cuddle up to my hand when he goes to sleep!!! I tried to introduce a bear to cuddle instead of me but its usually thrown across the room 5 mins after I have left.

Both my boys have got "zmoozys". These are those knotty head doll things. My oldest is 4 years old and we got his when he was a baby and was transitioning to a new bed. He became very attached to it and we now have 3 of his ones. When my ds2 was born, we chose a similar but different one for him. He has 2 of them in different colours. They both know they have more than one. They both sleep with them and find them comforting. I think its nice.

i once replaced ds1 goldfish when it had died so he wuuldn't know. I did realise that it would be a good leson about deathetc but it just wasn't a good time. Luckily he never suspected even though i had sent db to the pet shop and he came back with a fish that was much bigger lol

Neither of mine have any favourite toys or comforters, they both go to bed with teddies but ds, 2, isnt at all bothered if theres something there or not as long as he gots his bot bot which i guess is a comfoter but not for much longer hopefully
And dd, 4, sometimes goes to bed with a teddy or whatever happens to be her favourite toy at the time. Tonight its a toy jcb torch we got from diggerland! But neither of them have any one toy they're particularly attached to.
I never had a toy but i had a bit of muslin i used to sniff that id take everywhere with me

My DS is like that with his bot bot too!!! We are trying to wean him off it but as thats his comforter as he never had a dummy its very hard!!!!

We have avent bottles so i tried putting one of the white spouts in that they can use for juice and he shoved it in his mouth as always but took one suck then took it out, stared at it for a while, gave me a bit of a dirty look i think then put it down and got up to play!! Havent tried that again!

He also has never had a dummy so think hes gonna carry on with his bot bot for a while longer, it is only for milk and then sometimes water at night time so dont think thats too much of a problem really

I called Santa once to say that he was allowed to give dd1 presents because she had been good and she was lying on the sofa in hysterics because I'd told her she wouldn't get presents if she was naughty; I've set a place at tea for her toy monkey because he was hungry; and I've taken toys into work because she's been upset at the idea of them being on their own when we're all out of the house.

Lol helsy - I've done the taking a toy to work thing & inviting them for tea too.

We got Squidgy Bear #1 back from Sainsbury's by the way so we're safe in the knowledge we have a back up plan again. - DP keeps taking the p1ss by asking me if I feel sorry for Squidgy being stuck in the airing cupboard!