Please tell me what you expect your Y2 child to manage for themselves in the morning...

[notnowbernard]

Because I am wondering whether I have wildly high expectations regarding the DC's capabilities or something

EVERY morning without fail I have to remind DD1 of the following:

To have a wash and brush her teeth

To brush her hair

To get dressed

To put shoes and coat on

To remember her book bag and lunchbox (despite them being put by the front door)

And I say 'remind'... in practice this is me nagging shouting telling her at least 3 times per instruction

I also have DD2 fannying around needing even more instruction (she is in Reception, so I expect to have to tell her more)

DD1 is nearly 7. Is this a normal school morning for everyone else?

Yes, it's normal. Sorry!

We have exactly the same age children and I have found it helpful to write a list for dd and stick it on the fridge so she can check everything off - its almost as if theres too much for her to remember each thing so she forgets everything without the list!

I originally read this as your expectations of a 2yo and thought you were being a bit harsh! But it sound pretty normal for Yr2 too. I have one too and occasionally he'll remember to do one of your list without prompting, but never all of them ....

I also have a daughter in reception who is sometimes more efficient than her big brother!

Sounds normal to me .
TBH, I'm still doing nearly all that with my nearly 11yo. The alternative is he won't get to school at all, he certainly doesn't want to go, so I don't see that I'll stop having to nag him for years to come.

Same for DD (9yo), although she brushes her hair without prompting, vanity on that point finally kicked in about 6 months ago.

I usually help my 6yo DS get dressed, I even bring all of them breakfast in bed (this has helped a lot in terms of reducing the overall amount of nagging).

I do none of that on non-school days, btw, they can stuff themselves if they think I'm going to wait on them then.

My parents expected me to organise myself at secondary age... they ended up having to drive me an awful lot I missed the bus so often.

well I have a ds in yr 2 (he was 6 in aug) and dd in reception and they both still need lots of shouting at reminding in the morning.

Having TV off helps but they have no idea of the time and so if I leave them to their own devices we would not get out of the door. Ds dresses himself but needs to be told to do it and put his light saber/ latest lego creation down - then they are marched upstairs for teeth brushings which still needs supervision otherwise it is not done properly. Ds can't find his shoes unless they are on his feet, needs prompting to find retreive from under his bed his glasses.

So I have no idea if he should be doing more himself but frankly it is a choice between getting up at 5.30am or getting to school on time with help and I like to sleep till 6.30 - 7am if at all possible.

It is a process and some children are naturally more organised than others, ds is much better than 2 years ago and I exoect more from him in the future, but we manage for now. hth

TBH it's not the reminding that bothers me

I am more than happy and prepared to say "Ok then, time to get dressed/wash/teeth etc" once

But I am having to say it at least 3 times (often more)

They just faff around together... playing/bickering/waking the baby up

I've already banned the TV

I hate getting cross in the morning!

I have a dd in year 2. I used to do the shouting thing, but then I decided to just not bother with the shouting and instead to just do everything for her. I dress her from head to foot, carry her bag for her, remind her to eat breakfast, hand her the toothbrush. Mornings are so much calmer now!

I empathise NNB - I can turn into a bitch grumpy mother if I feel time and the children running away from me!

What helps me is making sure everything is ready for the morning, clothes set, out lunch box ready etc. the night before. If I feel organised I can relax. I ensure the children are dressed as close to 8am as poss. and sweep them upstairs for ablutions well in advance - then we can relax a bit before we have to set out. of course then dd2 fills her nappy seconds before we are due to leave and it all falls apart!

I had to remind my Yr2 DD to get dressed today - she'd taken off her pj's, started playing butt naked and forgot what she was doing.

I don't know what the answer is. A friend advised me that the more you do for them the less they will do for themselves. But after trying this and not getting to school until after 9, I think we may need a bit more practice. P'haps the answer is to start by shouting, missing out all of the niceties!

DS1 is 6.10 and an incredibly slow mover. DS2 4.6, in reception.

I "manage" the morning from an hour before we leave. What they do before that is entirely up to them (as long as it's not too messy or noisy).

Every day I say "time to have a wee, wash hands, brush teeth, get dressed". On a good day I can leave out toothbrushes and toothpaste and it all happens. On a bad day they fail to even use the ready-pasted brushes if not supervised.

Getting dressed is the biggest problem. DS2 often gets dressed when he ready to, entirely by himself, without any reminder that he needs socks. DS1 mostly still needs a parent either monitoring every stage or checking every two minutes. It drives me mad.

While my Yr2 child is particularly slow I think the rest of it is particularly normal!

I expect my dds to get themselves sorted in the morning. One is in year 6 the other year 1.

I also find the more you do the less they will do.
Some mornings I shout some mornings I dont need to.

I have found the most effective kick up the bum is the threat of taking them to school in whatever they are stood up in at 8.05am. Be that pjs or just pants.

This seemed to have the best effect upon the year 6 girl!! Not sure why

Normal here too, we leave at 8.30 and as someone else says, before 7.30 they can do as they like, from 7.30 I start shouting reminding. DD Yr R is worse than Ds Yr 2, he is a lot better than he used to be. We aim to leave at 8.25' we could get away with 8.35, usually manage 8.30, less stressful when there is a bit of leeway.

This thread is such a relief! I normally manage to get to at least Wednesday without shouting. This morning was a bad start to the week with me yelling, after asking my kids to do everything at least a million times.

My DD's are Year 1, so a bit younger, but I expect them to get dressed and wee by themselves. I will put paste on toothbrushes and I also end up finishing off their hair brushing as they can't do the back very well.

I put book bags in car and I put coats ready tto put on. They have to do shoes.

I am thinking from now on of making them choose tomorrow's clothes the night before. It all runs away from me at about 8am when they disappear upstairs supposedly to get dressed and I go up after finishing DD3's breakfast (she is nearly 2 and takes forever to eat a bowl of cereal) and I find them playing on the floor, naked!

I think if they are kept downstairs perhaps they are more controllable as you can see everything they should be doing and aren't!

I threaten on particulary bad mornings that I will call the head/their teacher to come and get them - that often makes them move! Also going out to the car saying I am off now, with my coat on, seems to make them skeddadle downstairs flinging coats and boots on!

I apologised to my mum recently for the years during which she had to drag us out of bed and nag us to get to school - she laughed sardonically!

I.ve had a big poster on the door for the last two years, with key jobs and target time to achieve them. Breakfast table seven thirty etc. The payoff is meant to be 'do it quick; get time to play'. It used to work a charm, and DS aged 4 is getting into it too, but recently Y2 DD has started openly playing the system. She just says: I don,t want to play. I want to sleep.

I.m literally putting on her clothes and lifting her out of bed, threatening physical intervention if she sits and stares at her toothbrush for more than fifteen minutes.

It bugs me, tbh, because it,s not nice to send them off for the day far ninety minutes of browbeating.

I can tell you what I expect of my boys (age 5 and 8), what they actually do is another matter!

I put out their clothes the night before, so it should be faily easy to just put on 4 items of clothing, but they NEVER put their socks on.

I have banned any tv, ipod, ds, playing until they are completely ready (that includes eating breakfast) but they just seem to be very easily distracted.

I end up shouting 'sock, shoes, teeth' over and over again. It's a mantra in our house.

We get the last minute rush to get something to bring in to school that they are not allowed, then we have to have the argument about it.

Can you tell I'm stressed about mornings as well!

I have tried reward charts

I have advent calendars (yes now) so that they can have a reward if they've got dressed without any nagging

I've tried writing a list of all the things to do, with a tick by each one

It's just so exhausting!

Not just me then

I have a mental schedule, so for DS1 for instance it goes:

Breakfast in bed by 7:20.
Nag to get dressed & brush his teeth starting at 7:35. Keep nagging every 2 minutes until I see he's done it (double check his feet are socked before I'm satisfied).
7:50: nag him to put on his shoes and get out the door. Keep nagging every minute until it's done, hopefully by 7:55 but plenty of mornings not until 8am.

I have different but similar "keep 'em movin'" schedules for the others.

I echo what everyone else says about no TV or games allowed in the mornings.

Completely normal.

11 year old has keys and train pass added to the list remembers the shoes but almost left the rucksack behind one day last week. 15 year old stopped needed reminding about hair brushing, teeth and washing, etc., about 9 months ago when he discovered girls but still leaves sports kit, shoes, keys, mobile scattered across SW London and Surrey!!