Fellow Attachment Parents - support please

[bobthebaby]

Please post if you wear/sleep with/breastfeed your babies until they wean and generally have a child centred approach to parenting. I want to feel normal just for a small while, to counteract the MIL giving me the "rod for your own back" talks and those "oh, you are innocent but you will learn the error of your ways" looks.

Not to mention the auntie (a Karitane nurse, which is a bit like a Maternity Nurse in the UK I think) who has never met ds but still rings up and says he should be on solids, formula etc.

My own mum tolerated my style for a while, but now ds is getting to 6 months she is pressuring water at night, use the pram more etc.

My other antenatal class buddies all seem to want their bodies back (give up bf) their lives back (get in a baby sitter and go out) and some sleep (controlled crying). I don't feel like this at all.

Send good vibes please.

I have to say, so far so good on the bad temper front. I also agree that child-centred has to really mean following your child's needs rather than a theory. Of course, being a parent also means you do have to impose some things. For me, that means keeping to a pretty regular bedtime, which for us results in a very cheerful child. Also he's so unhappy if he doesn't get his nap at the right time that I miss all sorts of things and interrupt really nice times just to get him into bed - now that's what I call child-centred
Do you wake them to put them in your bed? Would they sleep all night in their cot otherwise or wake up?

aloha, with our dd we slept on a mattress on the floor so dd could fall asleep on it and we would join her later. Ds slept in his own cot and would come over to our bed when he wanted his first feed.

I don't know anything about the various theories. All I know is that the best way for us to get a good night's sleep was to have dd and ds in our beds. I do anything for a good night's sleep ;-)

We don't wake him to take him to bed. We leave him in his cot (in the next room), which means we can have the lights on, read, talk etc. Then when he wakes up (sometimes just as we go to sleep, others hours after) we scoop him up and pop him between us. Sometimes he just got cold on his own, other times he is doing some serious teething, other times he is hungry. It sort of started after his first wake up call was always after we had had one hours sleep, I fell asleep as soon as he latched on and woke up 3 hours later. It just seemed silly to pop him back in his cot when I would have to get up again for him in another hour (he was pretty young at this point) so I left him there. NZ houses are not very civilised about central heating, so it is best to stay in bed whenever possible.

I also do a regular bed time, I do like to clock off for a couple of hours.

aloha- I have one rule- which is NEVER and I mean NEVER wake a sleeping baby (unless you have to go and fetch ds1 from nursery)

Good rule.

What I was wondering about co-sleeping is what happens when next child comes along? Doesn't first child get jealous and upset at going out of the parental bed? Or if the baby comes into the bed too, how is there room for you all? Also, when child is older, doesn't the rolling and kicking etc wake you up? Our daughter is a 'big' sleeper (arms akimbo, that sort of thing) and when we did have her in bed, both dh and I were existing on a narrow edge. Does this happen to co-sleepers?

We had a 5 year age gap between our children, so our dd was ready for her own bed by the time ds came along. I am not sure how it would have worked if she was younger. I guess you cross that bridge when you get there.....
I don't think co-sleeping works for everyone. If you can't sleep and spend all night with little fists and fit in your face it might not work for you. I think co-sleeping is good for babies, but not if the parents don't get any sleep. Afterall you need the sleep and energy to be a good parents during the day.