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Parenting

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Original poster

Surely everyone does stuff like that? Don't they?

47 replies

IReallyShouldBeGoingToBedBut · 08/10/2010 00:07

Please, please confirm that I am not alone in doing the most utterly ridiculous things to please my ds's.
Just one example from a list of many - letting my ds1(10) eat my Special K with red berries for breakfast, but picking out all the red berries for him because 'they go soggy in the milk'.
You might ask why don't I just buy regular special K without the berries, but that's no good because 'it's just not as nice'...rods and own backs spring to mind and I need reassurance!

OP posts:

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notyummy · 08/10/2010 10:07

Oh good grief. Absolutely no way. If you don't like something (after you have tried it - no turning your nose up beforehand..) then it is moved to the side of your plate whilst you eat the rest of your meal.

Since she was 3.

And yes, there may be some other patently silly thing that I do for her, although I am honestly struggling to find something as obvious.

I love her, but I am not some sort of valet.

cory · 08/10/2010 10:27

I see your point, Ma, we probably do all pander to some extent. At the same time, as my children grow older, I do try to think seriously about what pandering could cause problems later in life (would like my future DIL to think of me without automatic gritting of teeth) and what habits are really not good for somebody's street cred.

I know a couple of NT little boys who still want their bottoms wiped at the age of 7/8. Yeah fair enough, but don't think your friends don't talk, lads.

notso · 08/10/2010 10:27

This is the kind of thing I do without thinking and one day suddenly realise I'm doing it and think "WTF am I doing?"

I don't think it ever leaves you though, I asked my Mum for a tissue for my chewing gum the other day and she offered her hand for me to spit it in to, I am 30 December and expecting DC3

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MaMoTTaT · 08/10/2010 10:33

ahh but I think the trick cory is to make sure that they pander to you as well - you know make it fair. Bit of give and take and all that

As Thumb mentioned - I have my coffees made for me, and I'm a slave driver fairly strict on them helping around the house..........even if I'm bloody knackered from insomnia and glued to the sofa with tiredness I still expect them to get on with it .

cory · 08/10/2010 10:40

true- coffee training is absolutely essential

MaMoTTaT · 08/10/2010 10:43

exactly - I mean there is absolutely nothing stopping me going straight through to the kitchen after I pick DS2 up from school and putting the kettle on.

But I don't - I sit down, 10 minutes later DS1 gets home and makes me a coffee

sethstarkaddersmum · 08/10/2010 10:44

OP my dh would do that kind of thing for our kids. The eldest is only 5 but I would put good money on him still doing it when they're 10.
I, on the other hand, would not.

nickschick · 08/10/2010 12:23

I only buy straws at Christmas .

DS2 has been known to buy his own and says its like a little bit of xmas in may/sept/august lol

Hassled · 08/10/2010 12:27

I do pander to the DCs to an extent - as in I'll cook a meal for most of us, and then do DS2 his bloody pasta because he's so bloody fussy as well as the main meal.

But no, I wouldn't go weeding berries or pecans or raisins out of cereal. Life really is too short. Buy different cereal.

MayorNaze · 08/10/2010 12:28

i put toothpaste on tooth brushes.

mainly because then i can tell whether teeth have actually been cleaned or not

if i am nice it is usually for my own benefit ie i pour cereal and milk into bowls for all dc (age 4, 8 and 11) as is far less mess and hassle.

i think those are the only nice things i do.

i have just driven to ds's school to deliver his forgotten rugby boots, which is fairly nice, but then i did tell him off for forgetting them in front of all his friends as well

Original poster

IReallyShouldBeGoingToBedBut · 08/10/2010 14:20

Wow! guess I need to pull myself together and take a long hard look at my approach..thought maybe a bit daft to pick out berries but never imagined it to be 'really quite odd'.
Thanks for the solidarity, similarly pandering mums, especially MaMo who understood that it wasn't just about the cereal - but I'm buggered if I'm going to confess to anything else now!
Ironic thing is that ds1 isn't actually a fussy eater - all veg, fruit, fish, happily consumed in great quantities, this is just his 'thing'.I know you have a point and that at his age he should be doing this himself (if he is actually that bothered..) but TBO, who wants to think of their 10 year old as being old enough to soon have to think about 'career options'?

OP posts:

Blatherskite · 08/10/2010 14:25

Oh go on. I've got a headache after spending the last 3 hours at soft play. I need a laugh! :)

1234ThumbWar · 08/10/2010 14:28

Well I must be a total old bag, but no I don't do anything like that.

shell96 · 08/10/2010 14:46

i nearly keeled over when MIL told me that she used to have to seive the powder flavouring that comes with supernoodles to get the green bits out as SIL didnt like them!!!

Blatherskite · 08/10/2010 14:51

This will make you feel better about all the daft things you do for your kids....when FIL needs new clothes/shoes, MIL will go shopping and buy 4 or 5 versions of the thing he wants and bring them home for him. He then tries them on, picks what, if anything, he wants and she has to return the rest!!

She also lays his clothes out for him for every social event they go to and he comes to our house to hide while she packs for holidays!!

He's 63 and like an enormous toddler.

Did make us laugh when she dressed him all in lilac on holiday though - shirt, shorts, hat - the lot. He looked ever so pretty

cory · 08/10/2010 17:57

Well, IReally, we have just been looking over secondaries for our 10yo.

And the week before that we took the 13yo to her first careers evening: she is starting her GCSEs in January.

It creeps up on you.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 08/10/2010 18:08

My 2yr old refuses to have his face and hands wiped with a cold cloth after meals. I have to use warm water from the bathroom tap, not the kitchen tap, which is nearer

Apart from that, which saves the peace, I don't do much pandering.

colditz · 08/10/2010 18:10

You must be nuts, there is no way I'd do that for my four year old, let alone a child of ten!

If you're not careful, he'll end up like my ex from years ago, who sat and watched his mother (60) get down on her knees and pick up the peas he's dropped on the floor, while I watched the whole scene aghast!

DarciesmumandTTC2 · 08/10/2010 18:18

No I certainly don't do that.

My DD gets whats put in front of her or she goes hungry. I haven't got the time to fuss over her dinner.

we have a chart that she tries a new thing with her dinner and that goes down well.

DilysPrice · 08/10/2010 18:19

I don't do that OP, but I do have two separate tubs of drinking chocolate because DD and DS prefer different brands, and I pause the telly for them to go to the loo, and I let DS eat supper in the front room if the washing machine is on, because he's scared of the noise. So you are not alone.

Original poster

IReallyShouldBeGoingToBedBut · 08/10/2010 18:51

This isn'tevery day, BTW, it's my cereal - it's perhaps once every couple of weeks, which happened to be yesterday morning. But it got me wondering.

OP posts:

colditz · 08/10/2010 22:57

I do have one that you'll all be appalled at ...

I don't make my children wash their hands in public toilets because they hate having wet hands and they are scared of the dryers!

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