"You'll never understand until you've had kids of your own..."

[HopHopALady]

Something my mother always used to say to me (mostly for emotional blackmail purposes!) - oh how true it is. I have been known in my life to be quite an anxious person on occasion but nothing compares to the anxiety I feel being a parent.

Anyone got any stories or thoughts to share to help me feel less like a neurotic mother?!

Just that you're not alone. I think everyone has their enxieties about their kids, even if they appear to have it all under control!

Weellll
My dad used to say it to me.
He was a single father and is definitely not the nurturing type. It wasn't fun.
Of course now I'm a parent I can see how wrenchingly hard it is some days, how utterly knackered he was, and that my little brother is probably in need of psychiatric help (not my dad's fault). We moved to a new town and it's quite likely that everyone eyed him with suspicion (early 80s) in one way or another. And my mother's a loon - god what a life. The poor sod.
We get on quite well now, thank goodness, it's very satisfying that we haven't given up on each other.

I nearly welled up the other day when I caught a little exchange between DD and some of her friends that made me think they didn't like her as much as I thought they did. How stupid is that. And don't get me started on the physical gut-churning I feel listening to the news nowadays. I can no longer listen to or read about the darker side of human nature - it's too unbearable. I'd rather pop on the rose tinted glasses and pretend there is no evil in the world.

Unprune, big hug to you. Glad things with your Dad now are good. What is it they say? You can choose your friends... I certainly empathise with that sentiment.

read this and possible this too

What I'm going to be like when the kids are grown up, going out at night and showing an interest in the opposite sex (or even the same sex!) I just can't imagine...

It's hard going, isn't it?
(Friends are always up and down when you're a kid. Don't worry about it x)

It's true, it's been getting me down a lot lately.

Especially when I read the feminism threads on here about rape and abuse. Now that I have two DD's it really gets to me.

The thing about life before children - you have your biggest fears; being attacked, locked up; buried alive or whatever they may be.

Then you have children and you realise that your biggest fears could happen to your own children. And it's literally unbearable.

Sorry, that wasn't very uplifting was it?

Thanks onlywantsone. I think the links might point to the same book however, but I will certainly be ordering a copy of that. It looks like it might help me to understand my feelings more.

withorwithoutyou - exactly what I'm feeling! No, not very uplifting but absolutely spot on. I'm sorry for introducing the topic in the first place! Hope I haven't depressed everyone.

Every mother should read Adrienne Rich's Of Woman Born, and I think Torn in Two: Maternal Ambivilance by R.Parker would be good for you xx :)