What books would you recommend?

[Dozeyland]

in regards to Gina Ford, Baby whisperer, first time parent etc... or others

what would you recommmend for good tips?

With DS1 I tried Gina Ford which i know tons of people think is horrific but I get the idea of a good routine, GF just takes routine to the extreme. It didn't work for us purely because DS was a good daytime sleeper and couldn't stay awake as long as GF said he should!

We somehow found babywhisperer and it was amazing. It totally worked for him and he fitted in 100% with all her techniques.

When I had DS2 I went straight for BW and it just didn't work. He was a BW baby and it took weeks and weeks of me trying all these techniques, and them not working, with me feeling like a failure, before I gave up and didn't really do anything. DS2 was a nightmare sleeper and nothing really work for him (except a constant boob in the mouth - sorry that sounds crude - but it's true).

So what I am trying to say is that IMO it completely depends on what type of baby you have to which book will work. Rather than buy books you could get them from a library and when you work out which type of baby you've got you can return the other books.

x

None, seriously, go with the flow and if you need help ask here.

I liked Rachel Waddilove's book. I did delve from time to time into the Baby Whisperer too. I never touched GF's book. I've been hearing good things about The Wonder Weeks but haven't read it.

I picked and choosed the bits that suited me in both books, neither of mine settled into a proper routine from a book until 4 months. Prior to that they needed a nap every 90 mins and feeding every 3 hrs.

'The Science of Parenting' by Margot Sutherland. Will help understand your baby's needs and why some of the other books should be avoided like the plague.

What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen

Baby Wisdom by Deborah Jackson

not conventional baby books but interesting.

As Fivegomdindorset said - None. Trust your instinct. Ask friends and family and mumsnet.

You whould get a birth to five book from your health visitor which is good as general info.

My best tip is
Let the baby settle themself to sleep from a early age. Dont worry if they moan a little at first- they need to learn to self soothe.

See, my best tip would be - forget about letting them 'self-soothe' and just let them get to sleep on you/on boob/whatever .

(we are all different - this is why mn is great and how-to books are limited)

Another vote for both

• "The Science of Parenting" (very interesting and helpful in understanding how babies' brains work and why they behave the way they do)

• "What Mothers Do" (a wonderful book that is guaranteed to make you feel better about the choices you have made for you and your baby).

Why Love Matters

When Your Baby Cries - Deborah Jackson

Oh yes, I second 'Why love matters' and 'What Mothers Do'

We did GF but not to the extreme, i.e. we stuck to the feeding/sleeping guidelines but didn't bother with the "now let them have 20 mins under the baby gym" type stuff. An old fashioned choice maybe but we also found Dr Spock's large tome to be really good as well. As someone has already said, it does depend on the type of baby you have, but also on the type of person you are. I couldn't have coped without some sort of routine, and luckily my DS took to it well. But one of my best friend's would've been driven mad by this and just did her own thing. Now she has 3 kids, lives in semi-chaos but seems to love it! Good luck.

Kaz Cooke in the first instance, to make you laugh while you cry.

Then, when things have settled down a bit and you feel human again, the Deborah Jackson ones.

Don't go anywhere near any that mention timetables, routines, how to get your body back into shape, sex or refer to you and your partner as Mummy and Daddy. (Yes, Annabel Karmel, I do mean you, you madwoman) or who have columns in national newspapers (Miriam Stoppard)

My friend with 3 small children gave me the GF book when I was pregnant and just said 'have a look, and get some ideas...but don't kill yourself trying to follow it to the letter'.Thats exactly what I did and it was sooooo helpful.. I also read a few others. I would say that health warning could be applied to any baby book tbh.

I wouldn't recommend any only because they prevent you from really trusting and getting in tune with your own mothering instinct. They are all someone elses idea of how it should be done and how can that be right for you and your child? If something feels wrong to you, even if it goes against current 'wisdom', then don't do it. Listen to what your heart is saying and do what feels right for you.

I tried things like controlled crying (veru briefly) and 'routines' but nothing felt right so I decided to just do what did feel right and if that went against other people's opinions of what I 'should' be doing then so be it.

Everyone has instinct and the more you listen to it and trust in it the easier it becomes to feel what is right and wrong.

i like the harvey karp book for the first few months. Baby Bliss.

There is a sue gerhardt book how brains are affected by care - Why love matters, I think it is called, it's fascinating.

I made myself and my first child utterly utterly miserable following GF for a few weeks and feel squirmingly ashamed that I let a book tell me how to look after my precious baby. Books can be useful, but only if it feels right and it's working for you and your baby. Listen to your instinct above all, above books and MNatter.

What Mothers Do is great - apart from anything else it reassures you that when you've been pinned to the sofa all day feeding you have actually done something incredibly useful!