safe ways to co sleep...

[PipIsOutNow]

im ff but have a very clingy 12 week old little boy...he wont go down at all throughout the day and he's pretty rubbish at sleeping in his cot at night so what are the safest options for me and my partner to co sleep?

ps. i love him to bits and have started taking him with me instead of putting him down in the day so as not to upset him...just want him to be close but safe at night xx

Hi!
I am rubbish at links but I reckon if you google 'co-sleeping safely' you will get the main pointers.
I will tell you what we did though which I think is pretty much what is advised.

• don't co-sleep if either of you have been smoking or drinking

-you should be between the baby and your dh (but watch out for gaps between wall and bed where baby could get trapped)

• minimise pillows (I think I used 2 flatish ones)Lie on your side and put your under arm bent in an l shape around the pillow (so the baby can't get their face trapped in the soft pillowy-ness!)

-bend your knees up (so baby is lying in the area below your under arm and bent leg but a little way from your body) -get your dh to position a couple of pillows under your back and between your knees (it helps a bit with the stiffness!) -Wear a long sleeved top and keep duvet around your waist/ top of your legs.

I started cosleeping with my ds when he hit the 4 month growth spurt - it was a life saver!! All the best - I hope it works well for you all and please check internet for 'proper' guidlines (i think unicef have some)

Also you could post in the sleep topic - there is a cosleeping support thread.

x

My son was the same, do you have a good slingf for him during the day? About co-sleeping, there are several good books - Three in A Bed by Deborah Jackson I found very helpful, also the Baby Sleep Book (or something similar) by the Sears. Co-sleeping gets a bad name in the UK but there are no good studies showing that it is more risky if you take certain precautions. Apparently in Japan co-sleeping is the norm and cot death is much rarer than here.

You need to make sure that pillows and duvets are not close to the baby's face - this meant in practice for us that I had the duvet round my waist and no pillow. Our son was in a baby sleeping bag on top of the duvet. Also, don't co-sleep if you've been drinking or taking sleeping tablets. Once our son started rolling we actually moved from our bed onto a mattress on the floor as he fell out :(. Before he started rolling I just used to make sure he was in the middle of the bed and would put pillows along the side of the bed - you can get guard rails to put alongside your bed. Now we have a double and single mattress pushed together and two duvets so there is lots of space for everyone.
Some people like co-sleeping cots but I found our ds liked to be right with us so the co-sleeping cot was too far away - once he could roll he would just roll straight over to us!
Co-sleeping is one of the best parenting decisions I made - we're still doing it and he's 27 months old! I like it particularly now that I am working as it feels like I get to spend more time with him at night.

Unicef guidlines for safe co-sleeping

www.babyfriendly.org.uk/page.asp?page=115&category=3

The thing is it isn't recomended if your not BF, as apparently a women who's BF woun't sleep as soundly.

I FF from 12 weeks and have always co-slept with my DD, even the night she was born, in hospital. It's just the way she is, she wanted to be with her Mummy. She's now 8 months and goes down for the night in her cot and usually comes into our bed at 2am. We're gently phasing it out. I have to say, I didn't notice that I slept any deeper when I stopped BF and started on the formula, but that could just be me.

Co-sleeping was the best thing I could have done, I think. It was clear that she wouldn't have felt comfortable or safe sleeping on her own, so I did much of what stottie said above. I got more sleep, she felt more secure. It was win-win. She is sociable, happy and very trusting, and I'm sure that it's partly because we have always given reassurance and comfort when she needed it.

I used one pillow and wore a great top from Uniqlo - really soft thermal stuff, DD was in a sleeping bag on top of the duvet and I had a spare mattress poking out from under our bed just in case she rolled off (she never did, funnily enough).

If it feels like the right thing to do, do it. Just don't mention it to too many people IRL.

Pillows can go under the sheet, and you can use cellular blankets to cover your top half.

Have to echo the post above though, bfing mothers have an advantage in co sleeping as they are naturally more 'tuned in' to their sleeping baby.

Lay the baby on a pillow case or muslin, then when he's finished feeding, pull the pillowcase up to the top of the bed, so he's between your heads and there is absolutely no possibility of getting squashed. It also means you don't have to change the whole double bed sheet if he possets or leaks, just the pillow case.