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Parenting

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Original poster

How do you convince toddler to get in carseat?

45 replies

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 10:57

Hi, just wanted some advice as I'm a new driver / new car-owner.

We have a 2 year old DS who is generally quite easygoing, but not always when it comes to getting in the carseat! Do you have any tips on convincing toddlers to get in carseat without having to actually force them in? Which in our case doesn't even work because he is then perfectly capable of unstrapping himself.

I also think our carseat is probably not ideal, it's a booster seat. My son is 2 & 2 months, tall for his age (looks more like a 3 year old), so do you have any recommendations for appropriate / safe carseats for his age, and ideally ones he can't get out of that easily?

thanks!!

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mamsnet · 06/10/2010 11:05

If he's under 18 kilos he could still be in a proper carseat.. I think that's way too young for a booster, personally..

ronshar · 06/10/2010 11:09

At his age he should absolutely be in a 5 point harness seat.
Unfortunately you cant reason with a 2 year old. It is a case of sometimes just doing it very fast so before they know what is going on you have bent them in the middle and quickly got the straps over their shoulders.
My dc3 is a real pickle and as soon as the straps are clipped he slides his shoulders out. It does mean that he is only fastened by his waist. I have a britax seat and it is one of the best but I havent found a device to keep the straps tight enough!

I guess you have to decide which is kinder for your child.
Forcing him in to his seat or him getting seriously hurt in a car accident?
Sorry to sound harsh but that is the bare bones of the issue!

BertieBotts · 06/10/2010 11:12

The Kiddy Infinity Pro is what you want - it's escape proof! You could get a different toddler seat with the 5-point harness but if he's an escape artist I wouldn't as most toddlers work out how to unclip it (or at least get their arms out) at some point.

If your toddler hates the carseat I haven't found a way to get them in without force - bribery perhaps? Chocolate button if he sits down nicely? You can attach toys etc to the bumper cushion on the Kiddy Infinity which makes it more interesting. DS likes having a little 'table'.

How much does he weigh? If he's under 15kg then he is too small for a booster, which means the seatbelt might not hold him if you were to crash. It goes on weight rather than height. As mamsnet said, the toddler age group seats (Group 1) go up to 18kg so ideally you want to be using it until then.

HTH :)

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BertieBotts · 06/10/2010 11:19

Ronshar, have you seen those chest clips you can buy to hold the top two straps together? You can sometimes get them on ebay. They're not technically approved for use in this country, because the law about carseats says that the straps must be able to be opened by one button and it must be immediately obvious to a stranger in an accident who may not be familiar with car seats. I guess you need to assess the risk/benefit but only being held by the waist seems risky to me (in a carseat with a harness anyway)

Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:20

I think he's about 15 kilos, probably a bit more, but I'll check. As I said, he looks more like a 3 year old rather than a 2 year old. This booster seat was given to us by a friend but I'm realising (thankfully very soon after getting the car) that it's not appropriate as it just feels VERY flimsy, plus he can just very easily get out of it, simply by unstrapping seat belt.

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Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:21

Quick further question: I'll weigh him tonight, but if he's more than 15 kilos, do all carseats for this age group go only up to 18 kilos, and then it's booster seats? I ask this because I'm worried that I'll buy an expensive carseat only to use it for a few months. What's your advice?

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Flighttattendant · 06/10/2010 11:22

I use bribery. We had a spate of incidents outside school when ds2 would refuse to get into the seat. He was in the car, messing about, usually in the middle where I couldn't grab him - I'd stand by the car for about 15 minutes some days.

He was 2 then.

He's largely over it now he's 3. But I still bribe shamelessly when necessary.

Maria - you definitely need a proper car seat not a booster at that age, it's not height, it's weight it goes on I think.

Pop into Halfords or mothercare and ask them what group seat you need.

Rockbird · 06/10/2010 11:24

Threats I'm afraid. DD is the same and the neighbours must be sick of the conversation every morning....

"DD, get in your car seat please....DD come on, we're in a hurry...DD! Come on now, quickly, we're going to be late...Right DD, get in your car seat now or I will put you in..."

She usually does it then because I take no prisoners when I strap her in and she knows it! She does go through phases of taking her arms out but I bought a Houdini strap like Bertie refers to. Have only used it once though, she was so shocked and insulted that she instantly behaves if I threaten her with it! :o

Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:26

Flighattendant, thanks :) Well the problem is, we did go to Mothercare & they said we should get a booster because 5 point harness seats only go up to 18 kilos so it'll only last him a few months, and they're expensive. As I said, that's not what I'm saying, it's what we were told at Mothercare, which confused as as we do feel the booster seat he now has isn't appropriate. But I'll weigh him when he comes home from nursery this afternoon & will get back to you.

Bribery works ok so far too (most times), I give him one of his favourite biscuits & usually that gets him in seat. But I do worry very much knowing that he can simply unstrap himself while I'm driving, which is why I want to find a way to get a more secure carseat that he can't get out of. He's never unstrapped himself while I'm driving, but always does it once I stop (and often just refuses to get in in the first place).

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Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:28

By the way, for a few days we borrowed a 5 point harness seat from friend & used that, and he very easily / confidently took shoulder straps off & was only held by the waist . So it's not as if a standard 5 point harness seat will be the easy answer in our case...

Am confused!

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Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:29

I'm all for bribery by the way !

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MrFibble · 06/10/2010 11:31

Raisins.

Flighttattendant · 06/10/2010 11:31

Sorry, I crossed posts with you about the weight!

How confusing. Mind you some seats turn into high backed boosters, but start off as group 1 - for instance the Britax evolve 2-3, will suit a child from age 9 months (or is it a year old) to 11 years old.

That way you would still get to use it for many years as a proper booster, but your child will be really safe for the time being as well.

loopyloops · 06/10/2010 11:33

How not to get one into a car seat (from experience):

Put the child in seat, bribe them by giving them the keys to play with
Close the door
realise the central locking is broken and baby is locked in car with keys.

But yes, the Kiddy Infinity Pro sounds like the kind of seat you need.

ronshar · 06/10/2010 11:33

I agree that sitting with just the straps across the waist is not good enough but ds is so skinny across the shouldres thta the straps dont go any tighter.
What is this Houdini strap? I must get me one of those!

I would perhaps go to Halfords as they are much better informed about car seats. Mothercare are a bit hit & miss ime.

Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:34

Houdini strap sounds really mysterious & cool & weird .

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Flighttattendant · 06/10/2010 11:35

LOL, Loopy

Ronshar - me too, ds2 is tiny across the shoulders...why are car seats made with the straps so far apart? It's mad.

ronshar · 06/10/2010 11:35

Bertie. I was talking to CSWS about those clips as I have tried to find them. If they are not licenced for use then that will be why I cant find one!

Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:35

By the way- complete ignoramus question- what is isofix?

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3littlefrogs · 06/10/2010 11:39

Chocolate buttons worked for me. Then you have to anchor the straps so that they can't undo them. It is a phase that passes, but is incredibly stressful while they are in it.

arfur · 06/10/2010 11:42

My next door neighbour had this problem with her dd. So we used reverse pyschology with her I would say Anna cant get in her carseat by herself can she, c would say no shes too little for that, then Oh my goodness she can get in by herself but I bet she cant do her straps up by herself shes far to little etc etc then loads of what a clever grown up girl etc etc does make you sound like a nutter to your neighbours but it did work like a charm and if you do it enough times should eventually just get bored of the fuss and move on to being obstinate about something else! Would also look at boosters with a removable back with a holder near the shoulder for the seat belt. These tend to be a bit sturdier and larger than a regular booster and can also make it more difficult to get to the buckle on the belt to undo it.

Original poster

Maria2007loveshersleep · 06/10/2010 11:47

Arfur the reverse psychology thing sounds brilliant. Will try it.

Could you point me to the kind of booster seats you mean, eg give me a name if you know of a good one?

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newtotheplanet · 06/10/2010 11:56

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newtotheplanet · 06/10/2010 11:58

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Maranello · 06/10/2010 12:02

Hi Maria,
Mothercare advice sounds a bit off, tbh. Actually, going from 15kilos to 18 in a couple of months would be quite unusual (and I speak as the mother of a very big and tall ds!) and under 18kg he definitely needs a 5-point harness.

Someone mentioned the Britax Evolva, this is what we have for ds and it's very secure. He's still just about in the 5-point harness but when it does need to be switched to the adult seatbelt, he'll still be cocooned in it.

No advice on how to get him in it, though! But ds has not managed to get his arms out of the Britax.

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