how much do u talk about in front of the kids?

[misdee]

neighbours stop me and ask how peter is when i have the kids about. i tend to give short abrubt answers as i dont want the kids to know too much on the details, and sort of gesture to the neighbours that now isnt a good time to discuss it as the kids are about. but i am beginning to think they think i'm a bit odd.

how much do the kids actually know

dd1 knows that daddy is ill, has a pump, and needs a new heart. dd2 has just grasped the fact that the pump is like a heart. i just dont want to know how serious this all this. dd2+3 were both born after he fell ill, so this isnt new to them its just life as its always been. dd1 has some memories of daddy being well.

i would just tell them as much as you tell the kids.

i mean, judging by your other thread that he;ll hopefully be coming home soon? and that kind of thins

we dont know wyhen or how long till he comes home.

I would just give a brief answer,

How old are your children? Are they young enough that you could say "don't want to say too much right now" or would the children then be worried?

My two have just turned 4, one with SN who wouldn't know what I meant, but the other wouldn't think anything either.

I am sure people won't think you odd Misdee, If it were me I would just think you too upset, stressed, tired and don't want to talk too much about it.

I am a big believer in telling children the truth. Then there are no huge shocks! Explain it as they understand it, but dont hide the truth.

I agree with MTS - I remember when I was younger my parents not telling me the complete truth/missing out details - and even from a young age I used to 'fill in' the gaps with my own ideas - used to make me even more worried than I already was.

Once my dad starting working days again - so he wasn't around and my mum could talk 'freely' to us - she used to tell us everything and somehow knowing the truth (in a way that I could understand) made me less nervous about things.

I would think you would only need to say once to one neighbour "I don't like to say too much in front of the children" for the message to get around that you are not being odd but just trying to protect the children. You could say it when your children are busy doing something else - it would only take a few seconds.

Some people can be very thoughtless asking these questions within hearing of the children.