SAVE MY SANITY

[notnowbernard]

DD2 driving me round the bend

Meltdowns... legendary

Am well used to them, but my problem is the usual strategy in dealing with them is no longer working... ignoring it INFURIATES her and just prolongs the whole bloody episode

The girl has willpower, I'll give her that

But she's so fucking loud, it's very difficult to manage at times

Tips for managing much appreciated - she's 4.2, btw

4 is much harder than 2 - terrible twos - hah, a walk in the park.
Can you identify what triggers the meltdowns? With mine it was nearly always hunger, fatigue or a potent combination of both. Both my DDs benefited from having some 'quiet time' when they were this age - they were too old for naps (except after swimming) but half an hour before normal meltdown time sitting down and reading to them with child on lap was always very soothing. I found music also helped - no TV, just the stereo on and something that worked. There was no rhyme or reason to this, sometimes it was classical, other times it was Mike Oldfield, New Age instrumentals or even Kate Bush.
I also found it usful to talk about their feelings with them at times whe they were calm. At 4 they tend to be quite verbal and have quite a lot of insight into how they feel - let your DD suggest some ideas that she might have for dealing with these feelings.
Lastly - this too shall pass. By 5 they're much calmer, until it starts again at 6. Sorry, but true. I also have a 9-YO on the cusp of puberty, it just doesn't stop, but there it is...

Cheers

Triggers: tiredness, definitely

She has chill out time straight after lunch once she's home from school

She refuses to talk about them after they've happened - even when really calm, and we're both in a good mood. She'll put her hands over her ears or keep changing the subject

I try and use the time-out in her room approach to let off steam/have a shout/be angry in her own space approach which really works with dd1 (nearly 7)

But she just goes ON and ON and ON yelling her head off

She has a croaky voice today from screaming and yelling so much last night

I will add that she is a delight a lot of the time and is very good fun to be around (she will be great at parties in years to come, I think)

But God, I wish this phase would get a wiggle on

Thanks for your post - was helpful

No advice, as just a little crap on the child rearing thing, but just want to send you a hug.