What's the point in pushing DD into a 3-hourly feeding routine if she feeds every 2 hours at night?

[5DollarShake]

Or even every one and a half?? Is she not getting enough during the day?

This is killing me. I'm b/feeding so it all falls to me. By the time she settles I get a snatch of sleep before being torn awake again. There is no sleeping in or napping during the day because of DS who is 20 months.

Even though I breastfed DS until 13 months I am on the verge of giving up with DD because the sleep deprivation is torture!

Expressing a bottle is not the answer. I hate the idea of spending even more time sitting there expressing just so that DH can do one measly feed when I'll have to do the other 5 or 6 anyway - plus I'll no doubt be woken by his inability to settle her anyway.

What can I do to get her to feed less at night and sleep longer stretches? She is a healthy weight and I feel like her tummy should be big enough to take her longer than a couple of hours.

FYI she sleeps in a Moses basket right next to my side of the bed.

Help!!

Eek sorry - this should be in Feeding, not Parenting.

How old is your DD?

Your DH needs to learn how to resettle her. That's what my DH had to do. Really helped me.

Hey

No real advice (pretty new to BF) but my sympathy.

I had a thread like this yesterday. My DS is nearly 7wks and feeding every 2hrs. I found i was picking him up a bit too soon to feed him. If he stirred i had him on the boob before either of us was even awake. Last night i made a concious effort to wait until he was actually awake to feed him and he had two feeds between 9.30 and 6 - much better. Also think his growth spurt has come to an end (couldn't have gone on much longer!)

How old is she?

DD did this and it's bloody torture. She did settle down about 7 or 8 weeks and start to sleep a bit longer (for a while anyway).

I never got the hang of expressing either. I ended up co sleeping with her at times because at least I could lie down and doze a bit while feeding her.

DD is 24 weeks and woke up every hour last night - no idea why but it is complete torture. I was in tears at one point.

So - I know how you feel! And I like your username!

Sorry - she is 8 weeks old. 2 months on Friday.

I really wait to ensure she is going to wake up before I feed her - believe me! It is torture to get out of bed any sooner, so I wait to make sure she really is waking up and not just stirring.

When she wakes around 5 I bring her into bed with me as I'm a zombie by then, but don't want to get into that habit, as then I have to get her used to sleeping in her own bed.

At the moment I am settling her by reaching over and putting my hand on her tummy until she falls asleep. Sometimes it works straight away, other times she won't settle so I put her back on the boob until she is sleepy again and try again. I always put her down at least semi-awake. DH doesn't have boobs sadly, so if she doesn't settle I'll be called on anyway.

Thanks passionberry - Pulp Fiction is one of my favourite movies.

5DollarShake - re taking her into bed. I tried to take my 2 year old dd into bed last night because she'll ill and she said 'no I want to sleep in my own bed mummy'. She never asks to come into bed with us despite quite a lot of previous co-sleeping so I wouldn't worry too much about habit forming at this stage.

Just do what you have to do to get any kind of sleep.

Is she cluster feeding around bed time yet? You may find that she soon starts to do this and then hopefully will start to have a bit of a longer sleep at least at the beginning bit of the night.

I would co sleep and move into her own cot in a month or two. You need sleep now.

There will be growth spurts and other things messing with her sleep so getting her used to cot early will make little difference I think!

I would co sleep too. I did with my DD, who now happily sleeps in her own bed. You need to try and get some sleep in the present, worry about sorting out the future later.

I can definitely recommend a three hourly routine (in the day). There are lots of reasons why it should help your daughter sleep longer at night.

It'll ensure that she is getting enough to eat during the day so able to go longer stretches at night, it'll get her taking full feeds rather than grazing day and night, which can be what demand feeding leads to, and will also ensure she gets good daytime naps, which will help with nightime sleep.

It'll be harder introducing the routine at her age than if you'd started from the word go, but should be possible. Its important to feed at the same times every day - 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and 7pm, and most important of all is a dream feed between 10pm and midnight (we feed my DS at 11pm) as this is what gets them sleeping for a longer period at night. There's some flexibility with the timing of the feeds, you can move them 15 mins either way. There will be times when she is bawling because she's wants feeding, but if you are strong (its hard) and can distract her, she'll soon get used to it as will be taking full feeds each time as she's hungry and it'll be so worth it in the longrun. So you do have to make sure she gets a full feed otherwise it'll be almost impossible to keep her waiting for three hours. If you have to give in and feed an hour early though it'll muck up the routine for the rest of the day as it'll be really hard to get back on track.

Also, in between feeds, at the same times each day, put her down for daytime sleeps in a different place to the moses basket. And have a bedtime routine that is the same every night - same time, same order of steps (nappy, bath, feed, lullaby, lights out, 'night night') - always the same.

To make it really work, I'd recommend reading the very straightforward and quite short Baby Secrets, by Jo Tantum, which is where this is all from. There's lots more help in there and I honestly can't recommend it enough.

Thanks Hattie - I used the Baby Whisperer with DS and started when he was 2 weeks old. I'm not sure how you can get a baby on a 3 or 4 hourly feeding regime from day 1 and also get breastfeeding established? Is this really possible in anything but exceptional cases?

It is a different kettle of fish getting number 2 into a strict regime when you also have a small toddler to deal with. I simply don't have the time to, for example, coax her into day time naps when DS needs tending to.and entertaining. Oh, and shouting and yelling noisily as is the way of toddlers.

I try to stretch feeds out as long as possible, but it's impossible to feed a b/fed baby who doesn't want feeding.

I started DS's bed time routine at about 8 weeks and am just now getting that established with DD so once that starts to sink in it might make a difference.

I will try cluster feeding in the evenings too - thanks for the reminder, Besom.

:)

We started the 3 hourly routine at about a week, once my milk was properly flowing. It was fine, but as he wanted to sleep most of the time it was mainly a matter of waking him at the right times. There were of course times when he would wake early, hungry, but they were usually because I didn't get him to take a full feed the last time because he was just falling asleep.

I only have the one child but a friend who has just had her second recommended the book to me, and she's doing brilliantly on it too. I can see there are times it'll be really hard but if you can maybe get some help while you establish the routine, life will be so much easier with two, once you know what you're doing and when with your younger one?

With both mine i fed on demand. However during the day i would feed every 3 hours and used to wake them to feed them once 3 hrs was up if necessary. Obviuosly if they needed feeding before the 3 hrs then i would do so.

The theory was that i would feed them up during the day and (hopefully) be more settled at night as a result.

With DS2 i did introduce a top up bottle for the bedtime feed after 6 weeks as i found it hard to juggle cluster feeding at this time along with DS1's needs plus i defo had less milk at this time. I BF for 20 mins or so then next time he wanted feeding gave a bottle. I know lots of people are against mix feeding but because of adding in one bottle a day i felt i BF for longer, otherwise i think i would have given up completely.

I never did a dream feed, was always the time I was most tired. Also once i had settled them in the evening i just let them sleep til they woke naturally, never ever woke to give a feed in the night as that would be madness IMO.

Hope this makes sense. Also re co-sleeping, im not against it as such but have always found my own sleep more disrupted as a result so personally i would stick with moses basket.

I have less milk in the evenings too, but I express a bottle in the morning for DH to give at 11pm. I'm in bed by 9pm. He does the dreamfeed in near darkness and as DS is half asleep, he goes straight back to sleep once put down. Its definitely this bottle that gets him sleeping through.

Well, 3 nights after starting the bed time routine, she has woken twice!! Went down at 7.30 (ultimate aim is 7pm), woke at 12.40, and just now at 4.50am. Bliss.

I'm not one for dream feeds either, thehairybabysmum - tried it with DS but he would always wake a couple of hours after it anyway - it just interrupted his initial long stretch of sleep.

I know the idea is to get their long stretch of sleep when you sleep, but it didn't work that way for us. And anyway, as time progressed, that initial stretch of sleep just kept getting longer and longer until ultimately he slept through the night.

Plus, we didn't have the added hassle of weaning him off a dream feed.

Anyway, feeling much more normal, even at this time of the morning. Thanks to all who replied. :)

Glad to hear you are back (well one foot in at least) the land of the living!

Both my DS's were like yours....the initial sleep stretched until eventually they went through.

5Dollar...

Dis u have to stick to the 3 hr feeds during the day in order to get ur LO to sleep longer?

My 8 wk old DS feeds on demand during the day and has no set routine with his naps. We put him down every night at 7.30 after bath and final feed. His feeds never last more than 10 mins. At the mo he's generally going about 3-4 hours at first, last night he went 4 1/2!!! But after this first stint he goes 3 then 2 and 2 hours. Will this just sort itself out or do I have to be strict and force a routine on him?