What age is OK to leave your child home alone?

[lexcat]

DD is 9 now and I have never have left home alone except for walking the dog within shouting distance of the house or nipping to neighbours (about 1 min walk).

I not planning to leave her as we are in a rural area so if I did I'd never be that close. Just really wondering as I work full time and sometimes 1/2 to a hour on her own would make childcare arrangements so much easier.

It sounds ok to me provided that your DD is ok with it, she is normally reliable (won't start cooking or letting in random callers) and at least one if your neighbours is friendly enough and likely to be in if she needs an adult.

I would think about leaving a 9 year old, but there's no hard & fast rule.

I leave DD1, who's nearly 8 for 15 minutes or so while I pop DD2 to the childminders, which is a short walk down the road. I haven't yet left her while I go out in the car though, and that instinctively makes me nervous. But I can imagine that in a couple of years time I probably would. You need to make sure she knows the rules though, your mobile number, and what to do if she can't get hold of you in an emergency (which neighbour to go to etc).

I have a 10 yo and live in a rural area and I would not do it. Sorry

I trust her completely just never crossed my mind till now as she has friends in Y7 and we have being looking at secondary schools which making me realise what a big jump it's going to be if she not learn so independence.

Both neighbour are great one lot are farmers so often out and about and the other one works and not often there, so not really anyone guaranteed to be near by.

If she can use the phone and you trust her then fine, there is no set age that you can leave a child.

DS1 is 10 (yr6) and I have been leaving him for up to an hour now and again, I always have my mobile and ring in a few times to check.
This is during the day, not sure I would leave him at night.

I left my 9yo for short periods. And do leave my 10yo for hours on end tbh. But we are in an urban area, which is slightly different.

I think what you do currently is fine but even half an hour to an hour is a long time for a 9 year old to get bored and into mischief.

Do you think been urban or rural makes a differents? Also thinking things like walking to school or friends alone, shopping or days out alone or with friends.

Which child gets the most independents urban or rural?

Mumi, I never found that mine got into mischief when they were bored at that age, and all members of my extended family (nephews, nieces etc) have been left at that age. On the Continent (or at least in Scandinavia) children of this age play out unsupervised and make their own way to school and no parent would think twice of leaving them alone at home.

To my mind, a 9yo should be able to occupy themselves for a few hours (even if you do not necessarily leave them to do so) and have the sense to understand consequences, unless they are unusually immature (in which case, you have to adapt accordingly).

I left my ds from 10 for things like going to drop his sister at Beavers and the like. This week (aged 11 and year7) I left him for 3 hours on a teacher training day when I went to work (3min drive away). I think you need to knwow your child and trust your instincts.

I'm happy to leave DS2 (10 and yr6) alone for a short amount of time. In fact I've left both him and DD (almost 7) alone when I've gone to pick DS1 up before (so 25/30 minutes max?) I trust them. I wouldn't necessarily trust any old 7 and 10 yo, but I know mine. Incidentally, I wouldn't have left DS1 and 2 at a similar age - DD is far more sensible and level headed than the DSs were (her choice btw to stay home)

It isn't just a question of them getting into mischief.
Would they know what to do if something went wrong?
Do you trust them never to open the door?
If you leave siblings are you positive they won't argue and fall out and do something daft?

Just be aware, that if, god forbid, anything happened, you would be deemed legally at fault for leaving them.

And I think 9 is too young to be left for an hour.

"Would they know what to do if something went wrong?"- this depends on whether you have spent enough time preparing them and whether they are mature enough; imo plenty of 9yos are, bit not all

"Do you trust them never to open the door?"
ditto

"If you leave siblings are you positive they won't argue and fall out and do something daft?"

I would hope that they could argue without actually murdering each other

Children on the continent seem perfectly capable of this; I really don't see why the majority of British children should be different (unless it's something in the water...)

I think 9 would be fine to be left for half and hour - did this with both DC. But I would always be within 15mins of getting home.

DD was allowed to come home and let herself in after school at 10 and a half. No problems, apart from the door being sticky sometimes!

I would say that if you have considered all eventualities and feel it would be OK to do, then do it.

It all depends on if she is happy to be left alone or not.
I never know why people don't actually prepare their DCs with 'what if......' scenario.
I had set rules about opening the door, answering the phone etc and I trusted them to stick to them.
If you expect the worst from DCs then that is what you will get!
Any minute someone will come on and tell you that the house might burn down! (if they know they can't play with fire in any shape or form I don't see why it would).

We are very rural.
I did not leave them alone properly before the age of 12.
I think it can be more difficult because if you leave them you are likely to be driving some distance and consequently more than a few minutes away.
If you are within walking distance , somehow it feels safer.
I do think that 9 is really too young.

I think it makes a difference if you are very rural. We had close neighbours and so the DCs knew that, as well as my mobile, they could get a neighbour.

cory I'm sure yours don't, but for many it is a long time, it seems.
I was using "mischief" as a general word for getting into any kind of danger, really.
What cat64 has said about building up time gradually is sensible in any case.

If you had an accident (car or otherwise) and were unable to get home for a few hours would they be able to cope e.g. do they know who to phone to tell that parent is not back? If not then don't leave them.

Secondary school age for the youngest who is on their own is OK, IMO, so about 12. Of course it really depends on your child.