Soft Play Areas

[QueenSconetta]

Hi All

Only started braving these recently with DD who is 10.5 months, and appears to really enjoy it.

Here's the thing. What do you do if a bigger child is unpleasent to you DC in that your DC was playing at thing first, other child comes to 'join in', then is very physical with your DC pushing/hitting their hand away vigorously from the toy (a wall mounted thing), then later pushing you and DC out of the way and taking over the toy completely.

Do you mildly tell the child off then try to reason with them about sharing and turns, tell them off more forcefully because they have been physical with you DC and risk a scene with the (apparently absent) parents of this child, or just quietly remove your DC from the situation and play on/at/with something else?

I am trying to tread a fine line between not telling other people's children how to behave as I really feel that's not my place, and protecting and being fair to DD in that why should she have to give up something she was using first because another child can't play nicely. I'm not putting that very well but hope you get what I mean. I am a bit concerned I am being over PFBy

Obviously I don't leave her unattended for a second in these places btw.

Sorry for long post. Genuninely interested in the best way to survive these places!!

You carry the little shit offending child under your arm to the top of the biggest slide and then let them go

it depends on how old the other child is.
any toddler will be boisterous, want things for themselves and will probably be prone to pushing etc.
that's just the way they are, and while ideally a parent should be there supervising it doesn['t always happen.

i think i would just hover so that you can stop anything that might actually hurt her, but otherwise just go with the flow
fine to say something like "dd was playing with that" and put her back on/at a toy, or give it back to her if someone has snatched or pushed her out of the way

I often find myself storming off to find a staff member and complaining that the under three area is full of five year olds. God knows where the parents are.....

Icoulddoitbetter I noticed that too. Also the apparently totally unsupervised thing. Maybe they are watching we just don't know, and mebe I am too PFBy re DD but I can't imagine I would let her loose where I couldn't see her at less than 3. I also would be in there to tell her off if she behaved like that I think but hey.

Softplay is the Work of the Devil. Don't go until your DD is old enough to defend herself or you'll get v stressed

Often parents have younger children or a baby that needs feeding so can't follow their child around all the time. If it's a toddler then they're not going to fully understand taking turns, but there's no harm in politely asking them to wait their turn or whatever, I have done this before.

With my first child I thought I should take him to soft play so I did.

My second child only goes to them for parties. Yes, its selfish on my part, but I console myself with the fact they go other places instead. There really are much, much better places you can take her. If you find it stressful, don't put yourself through it, its really not worth it.

Was it in a baby/toddler area of the soft play?

In the past I was with DD1 (18 months at the time) in the under-2s bit of a soft play area when a group of about 5-6 girls aged at least 7 came running in and started throwing all the cushions etc about. I tolerated it for a bit but then went in and asked one how old she was. When she said 7 I said, well I think this area is for little kids only, so why don't you go and play in the other area. Just then the mum came over and was really apologetic and told them to get out, she had obviously been watching!

More recently, there was a kid a little bit older than DD1 (2.5 now) who basically sat at the top of the slide and refused to move! I tried reasoning with her saying I think my little girl wants to go down the slide, but she wouldn't budge so in the end I just took DD to play with something else. I wouldn't risk being seen by another parent to be shouting at/physically restraining their child, it's not worth it!

Yes it was in the baby area. I don't think I'd feel safe in the big area let alone DD.

I agree with you kettle, the only time I would physically restrain another child is if they were hitting DD (or any other child for that matter) and only then to until I had time to get up and move away.

What I did in the end way just to take her to play elsewhere but I did wonder if I was being unfair to her and should have stood up for her 'rights' a bit more, but I do think having done that could have gone very quickly and very badly wrong!, x.

if there mum isn't there you will probably have to tell the child yourself, you can tell them nicely but still get the point across

when dd was younger we just went during weekday mornings, when older children will be at school - solved the problem!

I really honestly don't think it's something to get steamed up about. If your kid is being hurt just remove him. To a parent of a first baby, a toddler can often seem ill mannered and bad at sharing -- your turn will come more than likely! I think they work out sharing from a range of sources (parents modelling, calm explaining, other people telling them how to do it) and in time they get it. But just because they haven't got it at age 2-3 doesn't mean their parents are shit or the child is bad. It's a tricky concept to muster and some children take longer than others to get it.

I have no problem with other people saying stuff to my child (although I am always there and would leap in first but for the fact she's not yet a pusher/shover) but I wouldn't appreciate hectoring and judgeyness.

soft play can be horrid, but they seem to like it