only child help

[samjones84]

My DD is almost 6 and is constantly asking for a sibling, which we just cannot afford to give her though I'm desperate to have another
. I've tried explaining how babies are very expensive and how nice it is to spend time with mummy and daddy and doing nice things with us. But I don't know how to be firmer with this subject as I'm one of 6 and her dad is one of 4 and we're very close siblings.
Any help would be really appreciated.
sam

Don't engage into long conversation about the topic. Give the answer, change the topic.

Something that helps DS a bit was the following. One day he was going on and on on how much he wanted to have a little sister, that EVERYBODY had a little sister except him, etc etc.
So I said, OK, should we borrow one? what about A's little sister? NO MUM, she cries all the time; should we borrow R's little sister? - No she is always snatching stuff from us and doesn't leave us alone!; OK, how about B's little sister? MUUUM, she is awful!; Are you sure you want a little sister? - erm... Mum, can we go out with the bikes? or something of the sort...

I was an only and remember begging for a sibling at age 8 and carrying on for quite a while, but then just giving up and getting on with it and that was that. I can't remember what my parents said when I asked, I think it was something along the lines of "but we're happy with just you".

Our (only) DD started this around the age of 5, we were living in Bangkok at the time and got quite a long way down the adoption route before we realised we weren't doing it entirely for altruistic reasons. We explained to DD that we were happy just with her and made sure she had plenty of other children around us for her to play with. Tis very difficult, I wouldn't ever be pregnant again and while DH would have loved to have a big family, he accepts it and now DD does too.

My DS is also 6, and he did go through a phase of this, and even now is very into his friends' younger siblings. When he would ask, I would just try to "sell" all the positives of his situation, e.g. more time with us, the fact that he can do activities and playing after school without having to rush home for the baby's bedtime, his toys don't get damaged, more money around for doing/buying stuff (not a great one, but it seemed to hit home with him!) etc. I also explained that he gets to see his friends' younger siblings a lot and can give them lots of cuddles etc. when he wants to. TBH as the babies he knows have grown into toddlers and pre-schoolers who do try to walk off with his Lego, have tantrums etc, the appeal seems to be reducing; I think it's the babies he likes, and he's realising they don't stay that way! Good luck.

Agree, don't engage in explanations any longer. Each time she asks, say simply "No, sorry" and then change topic or ignore. It's painful but she needs to know that this request cannot be negotiated.

I forgot to say that I was an only and my parents simply said, "No. We are very happy with just you" then always changed the topic and moved on. I think I only asked for a week! And then I realised I was very happy being an only (I had my parents all to myself, my friends always seemed to be fighting or trying to get away from their siblings etc).

thanks for asking this question - dd is an only (8 yo) and sometimes asks, so it's widened my range of responses. It would be a major upheaval now and given how annoyed I can get trying to get one child to school, I think it's just as well I don't have another!

I find mentioning nappies helps

lol, tried that, apparently at the age of 5 she's perfectly capable of staying home and taking care of the baby.

Now gone so far to say that she'd have to share grandpa (she's very close to them), as she's the only one that stays with them and they take her abroad for holidays. Seems to have worked! lol