What do I do when this happens?

[OhWhatNoooow]

The other day, DS 4yo had a bit of a tantrum and wilfully broke our fan. Afterwards, he carried on being stubborn and refusing to put on his shoes as we were going out. I could see he was also very tired and in need of a sleep. The question is, do I tell him off, punish him, or give him a consequence for the tantrum and breaking the fan even though I know mostly it weas because he was tired?

I would say it's too late now to punish him for the fan. Any action needs to be taken at the time as an immediate consequence of his behaviour. I would probably ignore tantrums due to tiredness but wilfully breaking something would get a consequence, tired or not.

In the majority of occassions My lad would get the corner as I found it gave me cooling down period and thinking time. But sometimes you've got to give your self and the kid some slack. It may not always be the right tactic everytime but we are only human and so is he. I do like distractions if I thought he was tired but I fell into a briber tactic for a while and found that just made him have control over what we were going to next so that stopped preety quickly.
I now (try) to remember to reward good behaviour (I know I know it from the book, shot me then)
I must admit it a lesson I have to keep reminding myself to do but it pays off in the long run. This morning Ds (nearly 6) made his bed and tidyed his room

Good luck

I also need some lessons in speeling and grammer! Must get on with some work. laters

I know the majority of times ds has a tantrum it is because he is tired (he is only 2 though) but if his behaviour is unaccaptable (such as hitting/throwing toys, or breaking something) he would still get given time out, tired or not, although I might let smaller things slide. They have to know there are some boundaries that they cant cross.

If it really was a tantrum, ie he lost it, then I would completely ignore it. Walk away until he has calmed down then carry on as if it didn't happen. We sure get those with tiredness. But there is a grey area where its not a tantrum its a strop and its an attempt to be in charge. In that case I would give a consequence pretty immediately.

Yes to ignoring tantrums but not for breaking the fan.

It's ok to make exceptions for tantrums due to tiredness but not for willfully breaking things.

I found a rule of thumb - don't ignore anything you wouldn't like to see repeated - ie, biting, breaking stuff, drawing on walls. I think it has to be dealt with there and then.