best friends???

[flourandeggs]

I have a little girl, who is almost 4. I love the fact that she likes playing with lots of different people, and I have never used the words 'best friend' with her, as I remember feeling left out at school as BF's did things together. I noticed her looking at 2 girls today and she looked quite upset - she plays with them and I think she felt left out as they were playing quite exclusively. One of the girls gave the other a kiss then turned round to the mum to say 'look at this', it felt like she wanted the mum to watch her playing 'best friends'. I wonder if I should be encouraging my daughter to find a best friend? Any thoughts much appreciated.

I wouldn't worry too much, friendships change so often at this very young age, what with children developing the skills necessary to participate in a friendship; speaking, listening, sharing, turn taking etc.

DD1 is 6 and in Year 2. Her best friend is someone different every day

Unless your daughter is having a specific problem with friends then I would stay well out of it. They are fickle things at this age.

My DD had a best friend when she was 4. I don't necessarily think it's a good thing, as it can become very exclusive and discourage other friendships. My DD ended being bullied by this girl, so p'haps I'm biased. Now she is in Y2, and she has a wide range of friends so has plenty of other children to play with.

My DS is 4 and doesn't mention the same name twice!

I would let all friendships evolve naturally at that age. As tempting as it is to step in and get involved, it's all very transitory, so not really worth the effort of shifting mountains, IYKWIM. Least said, soonest mended, type thing. :)

thank you, all very comforting. My instinct was saying to just let things happen naturally, but then I started to question things when I felt that other mothers were doing more to engineer friendships. Do you think boys are much simpler in regards to friendships? I will never know with 2dd's!!

I think that you are right that the mothers engineer the friendships. I would let her make her own friends, then at least you know it will be based on more than the two mother getting along!

I am hoping with all of my heart that boys friendships are simpler.

Fingers crossed for you LostArt - they are supposed to make better teenagers too, I don't stand a chance with 2dd's (and I was an awful teenager!) Its awful watching girls go through all the things you went through, my heart aches when I see my dd1 feel left out of friendships.

I picked my DN up from school last week and she was upset, she said her best friend had another best friend. Turns out that my niece's best friend thinks this other girl is her best friend and this other girl doesn't like my niece. It broke my heart!

I picked my niece up from school this week and her best friend is no longer her best friend but now thinks my niece is her best friend when it is now the other girl.

Did you follow that? No neither did I!! What I got from that was no to get too when it comes to best friends this early! :)