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Original poster

A Dilemma. Am I paranoid or do I have a point?

47 replies

Embleplini · 28/09/2010 20:17

Hello People,

I would be grateful for your opinion on the following simple scenario.
My daughter (12) has been invited to a local travelling fair on Friday evening by 5 friends. All of her friend's parents are relaxed about it but we cannot help but see the potential horror.
We have offered to go with - but this is not an option, daughter seeing it as part of her rite of passage to go out for an evening with her friends.
I don't want to go into specific details and chew over the various possibilities I simply would be grateful to anyone who wishes to respond whether they, on gut instinct alone - would refuse or permit such a request.
Yea or Nay.
Thanks very much to all who respond.

OP posts:

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CheeseandGherkins · 28/09/2010 20:18

I'd let her go.

winnybella · 28/09/2010 20:19

I would let her go- unless she's incredibly immature.

Checkmate · 28/09/2010 20:19

Not paranoid, big NO from me.

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ChippyMinton · 28/09/2010 20:20

No way. I'm with you on this one.

Gracie123 · 28/09/2010 20:20

Nay!

Obviously up to you and it depends a lot on the emotional maturity of you kid and/or her peers, but the fact that you are asking tells me you suspect that either her or her friend could end up getting her in trouble.

If in doubt, I'd keep her home. It won't kill her to miss one event, and if she refuses to be chaperoned (could an older sibling or cousin etc... be talked into taking her?) then I would say that she can't go.

autodidact · 28/09/2010 20:27

Would be fine with me if 1)she stayed with her group of friends 2) it was near enough for her to get home safely or if not she agreed to be picked up 3) she was home by 9pm absolute latest.

thisisyesterday · 28/09/2010 20:28

i wouldn't be comfortable with it, not unless at least one set of parents were with them

Lauriefairycake · 28/09/2010 20:29

Yes if dropped off there and not allowed to leav fairground or friends.

And then picked up after a couple of hours.

angelberry · 28/09/2010 20:31

Yes, if she agreed to be picked up. If she's embarrassed by this, tell her to say you're taking her for a pizza afterwards or something, which is why she's not walking home.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 28/09/2010 20:46

Potential horror?

Acinonyx · 29/09/2010 10:33

It depends. We have a really small fair in the village, early eveing only, in summer. I would probably let her go to that. But not the big fair in Town - definitley not. How late are they intending stay out?

OrmRenewed · 29/09/2010 10:37

This is our situation every September! My 13yr old goes with his friends (last year was the first time) but only before dark - ie 4 in the afternoon just after school. My DD wants to go to now (she's 11) but she will be going with us and some of her friends if she wants to go later.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 29/09/2010 10:40

In general (subject to all the usual "it depends on the fair and the child and the friends" provisos) I'd let her go.

MooMooFarm · 29/09/2010 10:43

If it's a very small do (on a village green, etc) in a small village where everybody knows each other, then fine.

Otherwise it would be a no from me too.

Do you have a younger child who might also like to go to the fair? If so you could use that as an excuse to hang around (in the distance) with them. That's what I sometimes do, and my eldest (who is 12) is usually happy to settle for that, since the alternative is staying at home!

SuzieHomemaker · 29/09/2010 10:43

We lett DD1 go to the town fair one evening last week but she has just turned 15. She had a great time but reported back that it was chaotic and the group got split up when people went to the loo, on different rides etc.

IMO 12 is too young unless there are very strict controls eg parent to drop off and collect and only there for a couple of hours at most.

PadmeHum · 29/09/2010 10:47

I know the OP asked for yes or no answers, but I cannot imagine what horrors could await at a fair.

Without know what the real risks are, I couldn't say either way.

For us, in the town we live in (E. Coast of Australia), I wouldn't think twice about this. I'd be happy for my 12 year old to go with 5 friends.

gorionine · 29/09/2010 10:47

I do not think you are paranoid. I would go as well, not necessary be with them as I do understand that she'd want to be with her friends but I would be somewhere at the fair and easily rachable should she/they need grown up assistance for anything.

TrillianAstra · 29/09/2010 10:51

Aye

With a curfew and instructions that if she didn't abide by the rules (e.g. being at a particular place at a particular time to be picked up) then it would be proof that she was not to be trusted with things like this until she is much older.

arfasleep · 29/09/2010 10:53

At 12? My ds is only 5 so I'm probably not too in touch with that but thinking of friends children, they would be mortified if having to be chaperoned. Until what time tho?, 8.30/9 maybe ok but not later and they would have to walk home together or be collected.

OrmRenewed · 29/09/2010 10:53

BTW how big is the fair? I think that makes a difference.

conkie · 29/09/2010 12:07

I think 12 is old enough to go with friends TBH. You have to let them out on their own at some point. I also think she will be embarassed if you went along as well.

willali · 29/09/2010 12:13

As the mother of a 12 year old I would LOVE it if the parents of 5 of my DS's friends were willing to let them go on such an outing - all my suggestions tend to be poo-pooed by other parents meaning my DS doesn't get the opportunities to spread his wings and take some responsibility which I think is appropriate at his age. It drives me MAD

rey · 29/09/2010 12:15

12 too young IMO but depends on freedom and so experience used to already. Is there no way you can have an excuse to be around in the area if you feel real pressure to let her go? No coffee shop/area?

KittyFoyle · 29/09/2010 12:19

Has she ever been out with friends before? Will she be stolen by the raggle taggle gypsies? Is she Nellie the Elephant? Have you seen 'The Lost Boys'? Can you hire an engineer to check all the bolts on the fairground rides are secure? Do you realise 10 mins at the fair can cost about £30 and that before candy floss? And will she brush her teeth when she gets back?

OrmRenewed · 29/09/2010 12:21

"Do you realise 10 mins at the fair can cost about £30 and that before candy floss?"

yy.

I am wondering how to finance 3 of them at the fair on Friday. Thinking of selling a kidney

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