Explaining death to a 3 year old

[Broodymomma]

My FIL passed away shortly before ds was born. It has been important to us for him to know he has another grandpa and dh has taken him to the cemetry a few times to put flowers down and we tell him that is where we go to "visit" grandpa and take him flowers.

Up to now he has enjoyed arranging the flowers and has never asked questions. The last few weeks however he has started asking a lot of questions about him and asked why when we go to visit grandpa at the special place he is nowhere to be found. He has cried a few times saying he misses him and wants to see him.

I have basically sat with him and explained that grandpa is in a place called hevan and loves him very much. I have said that when you go there its not possible to come back but it does not mean granpda does not love him and thats why we go to the special place sometimes when we miss him.

Not sure if i have handled it correctly and i felt we should keep him away from cemetry until he is older but dh thinks we should take him if he is missing him. Obviously he has never met grandpa but he is talked about alot and we have lots of pictures up so I think it is confusing him.

So is there anything else I can do to make this easier for him or a better way of explaining the situation without having to go into too much detail.

Thanks in advance

I think you have handled it well

Children can be very accepting - I think feeling free to express his emotions about it is very healthy

we mentioned to our kids that you can still visit people who have passed away in your dreams.

Thanks both of you, just felt so bad seeing him upset about it but as you said Ruby it is good he is able to talk about it.

Blinks that is a good idea. I am not approaching the subject again with him for now but will keep that in mind for when he brings it up again.

We lost dd's great nan when DD was 3.5 and were recommended a brilliant book called 'Waterbugs and Dragonflies'. I would highly recommend it. It is slightly Christian in tone, in that it has a prayer in it that you van say to remember your loved one, but obviously you don't have to use it and if you've already told ds that that Granada's in heaven i'm guessing you don't mind that too much anyway.