I feel so liberated now the routines have gone.

[strawberrycake]

I always thought I was a routine person. If started off a tiny bit gf with ds, then it drifted to checking feeding times... now there is no routine and I'm surprised how happy I am.

If he wants a lie in, he gets one, if he's hungry he eats and if he's tired he sleeps. Plus he simply goes EVERYWHERE with me. He went on the tube, round central London at the weekend, a meeting today at the bank etc. He's a happy little shadow. I don't do slings, buggies, laps etc.

There's practically no crying at all in this house and I feel chilled.

Just thought I'd share really as it's surprised me. I've found despite ignoring the clock the hours of day and night don't change much.

Has anyone else who's normally a routine person found this? I feel like we've stopped fighting and can just be now.

Ooo, I loved our gf routines when ds was small. Zero instinct here, I needed my life planned out to the second or else I wouldn't have washed eaten. And I did enjoy the 2 hour lunchtime nap every day, which they still have at 3 & 2.

I am always dead jealous of people who can function without military planning and just take it as it goes.

starlight oh dear, the dc's socks are always balled together as pairs and I won't put them away until I have found the missing sock. There's no hope for me

lol, I meant 'I don't do slings, he naps in buggies /lap' oops

I mentioned the tube just to say he naps anywhere/ wherever I go.

I know, it's my own post and it confused me!

He's much younger than step dd/ds, but 3 in total here.

We tried a very loose routine and it made me miserable as I constantly felt a failure if he didn't adhere to what the routine dictated. We decided to go with the flow a few weeks ago and I am MUCH happier. I only have DS so have time on my hands admittedly, but he eats and sleeps when he fancies it and is very adaptable to our days out etc and comes everywhere with us in his sling. He is also sleeping much better at night too since we ditched the routine - bonus!

I find babies fit around everything quite well, they'll nap anywhere if tired. He goes nursery 2 times a week and I work so not like I live a life of complete freedom, plus teenagers at school and family meals. Sometimes he manages a bottle before nursery, sometimes not. I just tell them if he needs one. They don't seem fussed by his lack of routine either. He can nap in the lightest/ busiest room if tired and will chill on his own if the rest are napping. More often than not the nap times meet as babies nap easily when it's dark and peaceful.

I tried the 'no routine' thing today and it was a disaster. My twins are 8 months, but premature so only 4 months adjusted.

Usually I wake the babies and have them feeding at 7, but the babies didn't wake til 8. They did feed well though, both took 5oz.

They went down for a nap at 9.15 instead of 8.45 and this is where our day went wrong. Usually they would wake at 9.30, and feed at 10. Then back in bed for 11 until 2.

Today they woke at 10 but weren't hungry for milk due to late waking so they had some solids as we had a 1.5 hour drive ahead of us to visit friends. We then went out for the day (babies nap when they need to, right?)and tried to feed them milk at 1pm. One baby had 5oz the other only took 2oz.

They then had a nap in a friends cot, for about an hour, versus their usual three hours, and woke tired and irritable. Tried to feed them solids, they refused so I gave up and came home.

They were too tired to feed for their last bottle, one baby took 4oz, the other took 3oz. They were then inconsolable until put to bed.

I'm now going to have to wake them when I go to bed or one baby will sleep until 7am tomorrow having eaten only 10oz of milk all day.

Tomorrow I'll be going back to my rigid routine. The babies might not eat much more but they'll be a whole lot happier.

Whatever works for you.

Although I would think suddenly not doing a routine when you've been doing a rigid one up until now would spell a disastrous day for anyone.

Babies, even tiny ones, have expectations that are either from themselves or given to them by routine-loving parents. If those expectations aren't met, then of course they're going to be problematic.

"You may not find it so easy when he is at school- as that kinda depends on a routine"

Ds is at school but the only part of routine we have is breakfast,drop off, and pick up.
The rest I couldn't say what time dd sleeps or feeds because I don't know she comes and asks and I can see what she needs.

Duncandisorderly Timing naps and feeds is still a routine if you really want to try don't make a note of naps and feeds just give food when they ask and are hungary and put to sleep when they are tired it is that simple (having premature twins I don't know if you have to watch their weight and intake? in which case no routine may not be a good idea). But if a rigid routine works for you why change it. If it is not broke don't fix it .

I am sure your way works fine.

How do you get a baby to feed or sleep if they are not hungry or tired when they "should" be? That's what I don't understand about these routines and would like to know how they work.

Since I put down the babywhisperer and stopped fretting about bedtimes, feeding times, bathtimes life for ds and I is good.
He at 3 months has found his own routine and I go with it. He too, goes everywhere with me and is happy too. I know he wants a feed every 4 1/2 to 5 hours and as long as he is fed he's happy(just like his father!).

Where is the smug emoticon?

Smug emoticon? Was that meant to be a snide comment? Or a joke?

What's wrong with things working out for people with their babies? Why is that smug? Aren't people allowed to be happy? And tell others about it on a relevant thread?

This is a bigger topic than I realised! I only posted as I felt so happy, didn't expect a response really. It surprised me how once I gained enough confidence I really do know my baby better than others, how ever many babies they've had/looked after.

I can see how stopping a rigid routine after 8 months could go VERY badly!

When my now 3.5 yr old DS was born i was adamant i was going to get into a routine. I'd bought the infamous (although i didn't realise it at the time!) Gina Ford book and the Baby Whisperer books and read them all before he was born. However he just wouldn't 'fit' into any of their routines, in particular he just didn't like to sleep in the day initially and i really thought i was doing something wrong. DH was going spare with me as he kept telling me to stop reading the books and eventually i listened to him when DS was about 12 weeks. OMG what a huge difference it made! I relaxed, DS relaxed and consequently became very contented and started napping in the day without me having to take him for an hour long walk every day rain or shine.
Eventually he settled into his own kind of routine and it's was wonderful! No being stuck indoors because it was nap time etc and he was never bothered if we were out late and he had to eat late.

When i had my now 26 month old DD i never bothered with a routine and again she kind of made her own routine which changed anyway as she grew.

The thing that i found too is that when i was trying to get into a routine everything the books were telling me just didn't 'feel' right and felt unnatural. There is a lot to be said about trusting your instincts thats for sure.