anxious about using a CM or nanny...

[Widewideawake]

I have been a SAHM for a few years now, I have 3 dc's, but have been given the brilliant opportunity to get back into work part time. (be around grown ups :o work on my self confidence, all positives)

However, my youngest almost 2 and as the nursery is unable to accomodate her for the days I need, I am looking to go down the CM or nanny route.

This will probably sound really wimp(ish) although I admit I probably am, but without family nearby, I have never left any of my children with anyone other than in the evenings when they are asleep with babysitters and during the day in nurseries/school which I have no problems with.

I am struggling with leaving dd2 with a stranger during the day.

Please reasurre me she will be okay its keeping me up at night worrying!!

OMG, I should have read my post before posting! really disjointed, hope someone gets what I'm trying to say, been up since 2am, 2nd night in a row... guess it shows! sorry

We're going through this at the moment - my ds aged 2 years 2 months is settling in with a nanny part time having been with me or my dh full time all of his life. He doesn't go to other people easily and it's a real struggle.

Firstly I would say that I think CM or nannies are the superior option to nurseries for children under 3 - it can often feel like nurseries are safer/more secure/more controlled, but in fact the children are often exposed to multiple care-givers as staff turnover is typically high, the staff to child ratio is 4:1 for the over-2s and staff just cannot be there all the time. The research bears me out - it's better for young children to have an alternative attachment figure than to be in a group, even if that group is controlled and safe.

Then with the nannies/cm, I would just visit a lot, and only go with someone you feel really happy and confident with. Have a long settling in period (we did 6 weeks!) and don't feel pressured into building up to full days quickly. Stay with them as long as you want so you can see how the carer interacts. We ended up with a nanny having originally wanted a cm because we couldn't find any cm we were happy with in the area, and it has made a big difference to how I feel knowing that my son is at home in his own environment - he is definitely happier than he would be dropped off somewhere else. We also ask the nanny to take him to groups which we used to go to with him, and he has lots of friends who we know there - they report back to me all the time on how he is which helps. In fact, since she started I have had several people contact me asking to nanny share so I assume she and my son must be getting on okay!

You might want to post on the CM/nannies board as there will be some cm and nannies there to reassure you further.

Good luck.