Development stage - Bitting

[Witchcat]

My 19 month old got bite yeasterday by his left eye. You can see the teeth marks of the upper and bottom teeth on his eyebrow and just below his eye.

As a first time mum i was very worried that he could get bite so bad when at nursary.

When i called to find out what happen i was told the other child " is going throu that stage".

I'm angry that they know the child bites and that they didnt stop him hurting my child but i think the nursary was fobbing me off as i do not think that all children bite.

So is tots bitting a development stage or does the other child in my Son's class have problems?

Also how do you resolve the issue as i dont want my son hurt again or to copy this behavour?

Sorry, I would agree with the nursery - not all children do but lots do go through a biting stage and it's very hard for nursery staff to be there every moment - one of the disadvantages with the 3:1 ratio. At this age (under-3) it's not indicative of any emotional or behavioural problems.

It's also very hard to deal with and there is no way that I know of which will stop every toddler biting - just look at all the posts here about exactly that issue. Your son may go through a biting/hitting/pushing stage of his own soon, whether or not he copies other children. The nursery should be able to tell you what their strategy is for dealing with the behaviour but they won't be able to guarantee it won't happen again.

The only thing I can say from my own experience is that whilst it's awful when your child is bitten, it's actually worse when your child is the biter - we have been in both situations. I hated seeing my son hurt but the shame and frustration of knowing he had bitten someone - and the reaction of their parents - else was truly terrible.

I have 3 DDs. My older 2 did not bite, but DD3 has been a biter - so no, not all toddlers bite but a significant number do.

It sounds like the nursery recognise the other child is going through that stage but, with the best will in the world, you cannot stop it all the time. When my DD1 was 18months old, my friend's DD (same age) bit DD1 hard enough to leave marks through her jumper - and both my friend and I saw it, and were unable to intervene in time to stop it. I would also say that DD1 was not entirely blameless - she had taken a toy from the other little girl, who retaliated with a bite. Of course, biting is not acceptable under any circumstances, but do you see where I'm coming from with the provocation from DD1?

I'm sorry your DS was hurt, but it will happen again, I'm afraid!

Please dont tell me it will happen again i feel so bad for him. The nursary said that it was unprvoked (sp?) DS was just sitting there and the other child lunged at him and bite him

I know children fight and hurt each other but this is the first time it has happened to my child so i'm not sure how to deal with it

I just dont like the fact that my son was hurt and there is nothing i can do about it

OK, Witchcat, I know it's not nice to see your baby hurt but let's look at the positives - the nursery seem to know what happened pretty clearly, so they are watchful of the children in their care. It's unfortunate that they were unable to stop the biting, but it sounds like the other child gave off no signals of what he was going to do, so they couldn't do anything about it.

It's hard when your child is hurt and nobody would argue that it's not difficult to see, but it could have happened when he was in your care too, couldn't it?

You can do something about it - you can kiss it better

bit him

it is a stage unfortunately