daughters school friend commited suicide last night

[wfrances]

my daughters 13 yr old friend commited suicide last night,she is shocked and bewildered,she doesnt want to talk,should i push or just leave her alone?

Perhapos leave her for now but definately line up some counselling for her. How awful

Leave her for now, but let her know you are ready to listen if she wants to talk. Definaqtely arrange some counciling.

As the others have already said.

Poor child

oh god. Poor thing

Oh no. How

As others have said.

YY, just let her know you're here if she needs anything.

God.

oh that is dreadful. Really sad for all concerned

how awful - i have just had a long chat with my dd same age about 3 girls she knows at school.all have various emotional problems resulting in therapy and s harm - so sad it seems a tough time for teenage girls nowadays.

:( :( :(

That is heartbreaking.

Just be there for her when she is ready.

Hope she knows there is nothing she could have done to prevent this, even if she had an inkling her friend was troubled, and that no-one blames her in any way even if the friend ever mentioned anything. I hope you'll let her go to the funeral or memorial if there is one and she wants to go -- these experiences can provide the comfort of the company of others as well as the experience of shutting the book to some extent.

I'm sorry. Your GP's surgery would be the place to point you in the right direction for counselling, if/when you think she could do with it. The poor parents.

it makes me very frightened being a mother of 3 teenagers as it was very out of the blue..how can a child just snap ,nothing can be that bad when your 13.i cant imagine what his parents must be going through,thanks for advice..

Try and find out from school if they're organising any counselling or if they're doing anything - it's likely that they will. At least then you'll know what's on offer through them and can work with or around it as appropriate.

Am a secondary teacher and our school had a dreadful time of it; losing three pupils in 2 years (not suicide). They arranged counselling, had special assemblies, arrangements for funeral, particular care for form members.

We generally found that although the following couple of days were very hard, pupils picked up a bit after that and the funeral, although very hard, almost drew a line under it for most pupils. I hope that doesn't sound crass or unfeeling - it isn't meant to but we were surprised by how resilient most of our pupils were.

I hope she gets the help and support she wants and or needs and is able to look back on fond memories soon.

Heartbreaking for your DD, all their friends and the girls family :(

Generally the school will organise councelling and teenagers are generally very good at being there for each other when things like this happen.

If she doesn't want to talk, all you can do is go easy on her, give her lots of hugs (if she'll let you!?) and let her know that you are there for her and that there isn't anything she could ever do, that would change that :(

mathan yes i hope they have a memorial, for closure.she will not attend funerals not even her grandfathers-her brothers went ,but she refused to go .
she seems to be texting a lot - i can hear her phone,at least shes talking to someone

How dreadful for her. I expect she's talking to her friends alot but just let her know you're there if she wants to talk.

My dd lost one of her friends in tragic circumstances at that age and it is very difficult but they do tend to find comfort in each other. Does she have a facebook account? If she does just be aware that sometimes the communal grief can escalate and sadly it can get a bit 'competitive' for want of a better word, especially among teenagers. I know dd found it difficult because she grieved for her friend very privately and quietly and she found the outpouring that often happens quite uncomfortable and difficult to cope with. Let your dd know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and that we all cope differently.

the school held the year together,no lessons just talking,(after they broke the news)i think counselers are there but i dont think she will speak to one privately.
verity -thanks for winstons wish ill have a look later
brightlight- thankyou
robino- im just so scared that there will be a run of them like before...about 10 teenagers all known to each other and the press saying its infectious copycat syndrome....she reads the newspapers.

Agree with robino, we lost 2 pupils in as many weeks. It was horrendous but the kids provide each other with a really good support network. I would let your daughter know you are ready to talk whenever she wants and then leave it up to her. Poor girl

dreadful for her and parents.school will have organised something.let your dd have a cry overnight and sometime to process

I think teenagers process things very differently to adults.

4 people died in 4 years at high school. I coped with it very differently then, to how I would now.