afternoon nap nightmare in 8 week old

[agirlcalledvicky]

Any advice gratefully received...I am trying to follow a very very rough 3 hour routine with my 8 week old son and we are getting on ok other than trying to get him to nap in the afternoon.

In the morning he naps well settling off quickly on his own and sleeps for 2 hours or so (8.30-10.30). During the middle of the day we go out and about - walk the dog, get shopping etc and he catnaps in his sling. I feed him again at 2pm ish and then watch him like a hawk for sleepy signs and then cuddle and into crib in lounge and the fun starts, it can take an hour of ignoring him, cuddling, shush / patting, his musical mobile, picking up / putting down to get him to sleep and then he invariably wakes after 30 mins crying and is now hysterically overtired and I can;t get him off at all. This means that he is ridiculuously grumpy and overtired til we start putting him to bed at 6.30pm.

Its so frustrating as I know he's really tired and he's sooo much happier if he does get some sleep in the afternoon. Any ideas?

Forget the routine, he is 8 WEEKS old for heaven's sake! I'm also surprised that you talk about putting him to "bed" at 6.30 p.m. Babies of this age are way to little to be in such a routine, just feed him and give him lots of cuddles and let him sleep when he wants to, for the time being.

He'll probably settle into a routine closer to 3 months. The morning nap also seems quite long. Is this the EASY?

At that age, my DS napped 45 mins in the morning, two hours over lunch (11 til 1), 45 mins twice in the afternoon. I got there by following his signs.

Then it went mad at 12 weeks! He didn't sleep well again until after 6 months.

I'd suggest going for a shorter morning nap, longer nap around lunch in the sling (I used to do this) and catnaps in the afternoon before bed. But as he's young, he'll change by three months, be more alert and harder to get to nap. But if you set up the cues early, hopefully it'll stick. Might not though.

can he not nap in his sling? For at least the first 6 months DD1 had pretty much all her daytime naps in the car/pushchair/sling. At 8 weeks there was no routine whatsoever, I think by a few months old she had one around 10ish and one around 2ish, but never actually in her cot!

Around 12 months I decided to start putting her in her cot for one long nap after lunch and she got the hang of it pretty quickly. She is now 2.5 and sleeps well at night and naps after lunch every day no problem.

DD2 is now 3 months and in no routine at all really. If I think she seems tired I feed her to sleep then put her in the bouncy chair or in the sling.

Don't get too hung up on routines at this stage honestly, it's not worth it!

Why not try taking him out for a long walk in the pram if he seems tired? That's what I do with my 6 week old.

He's not really in a routine either - some days he'll have a couple of long naps, some days several catnaps.

sounds to me like he is overstimulated with all the things you are doing to get him to drift off.

Pick up/put down is only for 6m+ babies. It is way too stimulating for little ones under 6 months. THe mobile is probably too stimulating as well.

You need to pick one thing (personally i would go with the shhhh/pat method) and stick to it. Also, does he have to sleep in the lounge? would it be possible for him to sleep in his or your bedroom with a moniter so you can hear him?

I am all for babies learning to sleep through household noise but sleeping while stuff is going on around you is difficult even for adults let alone a little one like yours.

When he wakes up after 30 minutes as you say, i would do shhhh/pat again to help him settle. Hopefully after a while he will learn to self soothe and be able to put himself back to sleep.

8 weeks is too young for a rigid routine. At this age I would work on a 2 hour cycle, if they have been awake for more than 2 hours then they are probably ready for a sleep. They will not sleep if they are hungry and at this age there are so many growth spurts that you need to feed on demand, try offering a feed before you settle him and that may help. I have not started a bedtime routine with mine until 16 weeks and then started putting them to bed at 7. I think 8 weeks is too early because they tend to cluster feed in the evenings. Don't stress, wait another couple of months and everything will start to settle in to a routine by itself.

don't stress.

give him cuddles

feed him if he's hungry

if he sleeps in day great if not don't worry.

PS if you think this is anything to do with sleeping well at night all 3 of mine have never been in a routine in the day, all 3 slept at night from a ridiculously young age.

They all settled in a sort of routine (each a different one) by 5 monthish. All were/are happy, feed well, slept well.

good luck

Sorry, I agree with the others! I fear you have made this into a nightmare yourself. I would just pop him in the sling/feed him to sleep/walk him in the pram and give up on trying to get him to sleep in the crib. Spending more than an hour geting a baby to sleep for just 30 minutes is enough to drive anyone mad!!

Shove him in a sling and get on with your afternoon.

My DS didn't sleep at all during the day till 4mo. Now (5mo) he sleeps through the nights and from 10 - 11am and 4-5pm ish He just found his own routine.
I agree with the above. Just let him find his own routine, he's too young at the mo imo.

I don't understand why anyone thinks it is feasible to sleep-train a 2 month old baby

at best, you are making him overtired and giving yourself a nervous breakdown

pack it in and enjoy your baby, for goodness sake

Hi there, after a horrible afternoon and night last night and a few tears I think I am trying too hard and am going to go with the flow for now.

This is my first baby and I had been told to "get them in a routine" early by friends and family. I have had 2 weeks of doing this now and is blatantly isn't working and is making me miserable. Feel like a tit.

Thanks for all your advice xxx

Aww, don't beat yourself up about it - some babies do settle into a routine early, but most don't, it's just about finding what works for you. A routine doesn't have to be super rigid, and there's no rule that says naps have to be in the crib.

Follow your instincts and ignore what anyone else says, especially the 'rod for your own back' brigade. And enjoy your baby! xx

Oh God, well-meaning relatives etc have a lot to answer for.

There are one or two babies who find a pattern/routine very early on, but most do not and poor first time mums end up in a right state - I know I did and I still regret not hugging ds1 more and 'listening' to him.

DO what feels right - hug him and feed him and don't pressure yourself to get him into a routine before he is ready. You will find one together in time.

forget your expectations, 8 weeks old is far too young to be worrying about nap times etc. tin babies are supposed to be all over the place with their sleeps! just have lots of cuddles and enjoy him :)

The first 3 months are now recognised to be the 4th trimester. Human babies are born early, because of the large heads, but they are really still foetuses for the first few months - they just need to be close to mum, to feed and to follow their own pattern so that they can continue to develop.

They didn't just start to exist when they were born, they were perfectly happy in a comfy environment being fed on demand and getting to sleep on demand and then are expected to fall into a three hourly routine just like that.

But I have been where you are to an extent. I certainly recognise the pressure that I put on myself as a new mum to get it all right. Go easy on yourself!