sex talk in primary school

[maria17]

hi
just woundering if any one knows when the big sex talk happends in primary my son is in p6

Our school just told us DS1 will get it in Yr 6 about term 2 I think.

Y6 is age 11 isn't it? Does anyone think this is too young? I'm not sure what I think. You wouldn't want your child actually trying out what they've learnt at age 11 would you, so is it a good idea that they learn it so young? Or will there be problems if they don't learn about this type of thing earlier rather than later?

Yes age 11.

No it is not too young as long as they dont just teach the mechanics and put it in the context of how good loving respectful relationships work.

Frankly, they are going to find out anyway from older children.

our school has "the video" about a week before they leave primary. the girls get their period talk too...after talking to one of the older girls mums, it seems that many of the girls have already started their periods way before then....

my ds is in year 5 now and has known about sex for ages after some unofficial "peer education".

better to learn accurate, age appropriate info than to learn from older kids who only pass on the snippets that they have picked up along the way.

thank you
do you think i should talk about a bit first to him or leave it to the school
see i think he has a idea what it is about because i have just had my 4th child and it was a planned home birth and the time i was pregrant he kept asking questions but i didnt answer them

definitely talk to him beforehand - I'd want my children to hear the basics from me, and they have done from an early age, answering their questions in an age appropriate way.

Our school do the 'period talk' with girls in Yr 5 - they exclude the boys from that talk. I have DSs.

Does anyone think that is right or wrong?

congrats on your new baby!!

why didn't you answer his questions?? if its something you find embarassing, then maybe a book might help you to find the right words to use...its really important for kids to learn about these things. i work with teens, and do loads of work around sex and relationships...its horrifying the number of teens who have sex but dont know why they have periods, or think that women lay eggs in order to have a baby etc...

try to forget all the complications that come with sex, and explain it in simple terms...make it silly if you like, dress it up or down, ask him specifically what he wants to know....its ok to tell him you'll have a think about how to best answer his question and get back to him if you feel happier having a bit of breathing space...

beenbeta...i think its important that boys know...gives a greater understanding all round. i do think though that girls should have their session on their own first to get their heads aroud it....too many girls have no idea before going into "the talk" what its all about...

I have a feeling they separate the 'sex talk' from the 'period talk' and they do not relate the two together at all.

Its a former girl's school so there are not many boys.

Term 3 Year 6 here. My DD was quite disappointed that she didn't find out anything new! She's the eldest of 4. She asks lots of questions and I've always been very honest with her.

I don't think that 11 is too young for a sex talk, not when there are pregnant 12 year olds about. I doubt they have sex because of sex education, but at least with education they have a better chance of avoiding STDs and pregnancy.

And there are plenty of 9yos and 10yos who start their periods at that age. So they need a period talk or they'll be totally traumatised if they don't know what's happening.

True, I hadn't thought about them finding out from other children but being confused/misinformed/the wrong idea because they haven't had proper sex ed in school as well.

Too young? Really? I would hope you would have had this conversation at home with them BEFORE they get to this age.

I had my sex talk at 7 and this was 20 year ago. I wouldn't want school to be the first they heard of it.

Dd1 knows exactly how babies are made and why women have periods. She's nearly nine. Bonus: she has a little brother and thinks that willies are revolting; she found teh whole idea so repulsive that I don't see her experimenting much before the age of 20.

DD2 is a little bit vaguer but then she's vague about everything.

Our school gets the sex ed dvd in yr 6. There is an optional showing for parents so that they know what it covers and what questions their dc may have.

Personally I'd like it to be in single sex showings, I was ridiculously self-conscious at 11.

yes i do find it embarassing i dont know what to say to him most of the time, he is a child who picks up on things and asks questions alot
we were in tesco the other day and he picked up a packet of condoms and asked what they are i said you dont need to know about that yet, i know this was wrong but i was not ready to say anything do you think it would be better if his dad talks to him than a women?

the other problem is i have a younger son and he is in p5 the year, below both boy are very close and talk about every thing and dd will tell him so do i need to be talking to him aswell.

yes i think boys should have the talk on there own in school without the girls

I think it would make life an awful lot easier if you could steel yourself to answer his questions in a direct matter of fact way, rather than making a big deal of arranging for his father to talk to him. I've always answered dcs' questions as they came up and it means they have a bit of background to hang the school sex education talk on.

And as to Beenbeeta's question, I think it is wrong not to teach boys about periods, though there could be advantages in talking to them separately. Girls may want to ask very specific technical questions which are less relevant to the boys. But boys need to know the basics.

But the periods talk needs to come in early, seeing that many girls start their periods round about age 10/11.

I find that 'the talk' doesn't work anyway. Last night I had all three dc at bathtime (8, 6 and 4) talking about this and although I'd explained everything to dd1 I still had to recap a bit. But hopefully they've got the idea.

It's very important that boys learn about periods too, because otherwise there is a huge potential for embarrasment on both sides. And it does need to be early for girls. My primary school was very forward-thinking as we had a film and a nurse from Lilets or somewhere come to see us, and our mums were invited which was great for those of us (like me) whose mums said nothing - this was in 1982. Just as well as I started my periods a couple of months' later. We had the same talk at secondary at 14 - totally pointless.

DD1 watched me take my pill the other night and asked what it was, so I told her. Think it's so important to be honest about things when asked.

My Mum told me about it all before I was old enough to remember finding out...definitely better than finding out when some older kid explains with a crude gesture in the park (as happened to someone I know)...
Good luck